You Can't Go Right From Wrong

What do you do if you’re typing along and see that you’ve misspelled a word? You recognize it and fix it. You back up to where the wrong letter is and you delete it. You eliminate if from the word you’re looking to have convey an idea that seems worth your time to even express.

Why? Because you can’t spell a word right using a wrong letter. Is the expression of your life worth less relative energy, thought and commitment than you give to a written communication?

First: Recognize the wrong (or what isn’t working) in your life.

Second: Eradicate that wrong (or stupid/destructive behavior) by replacing it with what it’ll take to get you to express what you really want in your life.

Third: Enjoy the benefits of right living.

Repeat.

RR

PS Or you can make it more difficult, time consuming and life defining.

Success Is Really Simple

I was at Saratoga Race Track yesterday during a picture-perfect day in terms of weather, the presence of family and lots of friendly people. It really is a great place to spend a summer day.

How did I do? I didn't lose a dollar! I also didn't wager one. I don't enjoy losing money so...

Anyway, it really struck me how simple success is. It's a choice to do the simple, the common sense thing--even the mundane. Yes I watched and enjoyed some races yesterday, and I also enjoyed watching people do what successful people do, while others take took the road of easy compromise--and that which makes themselves and others suffer.

With utter fascination, I watched people shred and then discard their losing tickets on the ground--as they walk by a garbage cans! While fifteen feet away I could see others clean up after themselves as well as others who'd done the trashing!

Success isn't a mystery.

Getting what you want isn't from following a complex series of steps.

Success isn't luck or an accident.

If only we'd just do what we know...

If only we'd be faithful to the plans we'd laid for ourselves...

Compromise is easy.

Easy-living is a choice.

The Uncompromised live a fulfillment that those who live by easy compromise, don't even really believe exists.

Believe act accordingly.

RR

Taking Leave Because I Left?

What in the hell happens??

I'm in NYC teaching a group of rock-star coaches. I've got to meet a business associate at 7:15 am each morning. If I'm going to workout, as I do each day at home, I have to do it at 5 am (which I normally don't do!) so I can hit my other obligations. Fair enough.

Why then, when I'm traveling and that alarm goes off, do I feel so justified in not needing to do what is so matter-of-fact at home? I start to negotiate with myself based on my prior decision to get up, work out and...and live according to my consciously designed plan for what I want in my life!

"You're tired."

"One day won't matter."

"The rest will actually build your strength for tomorrow's workout." --Gotta like that one!

You know how it goes.

Negotiating with yourself when you're "intoxicated" by stress, fear, fatigue--"under the influence", whether it's via some substance or strong emotion, is a scam and a dangerous way to make decisions about your life. But we all do it.

But what about you? Under what circumstances do you find yourself renegotiating good decisions that you'd made in "sobriety" and instead considering things, lifestyles, options, etc. that are nothing more than pure compromise with a momentarily strong PR campaign--and certainly not anything you'd choose when you're at your best?

Soberly,

RR

The Uncompromised Rest

"It's easy to be hard; it's hard to be smart." the saying goes.

It's easy to drive yourself physically and not rest if there is so much to do. And there always is.

It's easy to think and think about your business and your plans and...and be on it all of the time. There is so much that requires your attention.

It's easy to always be learning and growing. It's the only lifestyle option you can see. You're either growing or dying, right??

Sometimes it's hard for the person committed to The Uncompromised version of their lives to slow, do downshift for a time. They see it as relaxing their standards. Life is all about seasons and cycles; rest is one of those cycles.

Maybe Monday is a perfect day to learn this lesson. Maybe Monday is the perfect day to not get in the fray but to instead sharpen yourself by taking the day off-no planning, no lamenting, no searching, no strategizing, no! Just shutting it down...

The Uncompromised respect the seasons in life.

Be your inheritance-The Uncompromised.

RR

Do Something Useless

There is a tired, weak, lazy, unambitious and careless part of each of us. Some call the ego, saboteur, demons or (as I say) scammer. I'm not very interested in what you call it but when you have thoughts that try to keep you comfortable, uninspired and immobilized...know what they are and deal with the enemy of The Uncompromised life aggressively.

Now having said that, I've found that there are many ways that top athletes, spiritual legends, and many other achievers have used to slay those voices that crop up to kill their initiative and efforts. One is the tried and true, "Do it NOW!" Do it now, regardless of how uncomfortable, hard or whatever a situation may be.

Let me offer another option used by some of these greats. Commit to doing something, seemingly useless that ruffles the feathers of your scamming inner-critic nonsense. Do it faithfully and do it well.

Set 10 rocks up at one end of your driveway, get up at 3:30 in the morning and methodically pick up one rock at a time and move it carefully, slowly and gingerly to the other end of the driveway. Do this with all 10 and then put them back where they were. Then, at say 3:55-or whenever you're done, go back to sleep.

It makes no sense, it won't directly put money in your pocket or peace in your heart but it will frustrate that voice that hacks away at your ambition and discipline-both of which are required for you to live the life you want.

If you normally like to run for exercise, go for a run on a local beach (at a nearby lake/the ocean) but first cover yourself with sand. No the Navy Seals won't come knocking but the seemingly meaningless and voluntarily created discomfort from the sand and the abrasion (pun intended) to your ego's insatiable desire for comfort will begin to tame the scammer's expectation for constant satisfaction-and as a result, the quality of your commitments and follow-through will grow regardless of the discomfort that comes with any commitment you might make.

You can do the above or something greater or smaller that frustrates the scammer but avail yourself of the power in doing something useless to do something special.

Enough Said,

RR

The Truth Shall Set You Free

The other day I swung my shed door to close it-but it didn't close all the way. It looked closed but I could tell it wasn't quite closed. As I strode away--aware that I hadn't actually closed it, I began to try to convince myself that I couldn't be sure if the door was really ajar or... When I understood what was happening I became sickened that I was actually conspiring with myself to deny reality and do what was easy in the moment. (not go back and close the door. I know! How much more lazy does it get than that?!)

Food for thought. (No pun intended.)

If you eat crap you'll probably get fat and certainly be unhealthy.

If you don't exercise you'll always find yourself tired and, more than likely, carry extra beef with you.

If you spend your time with the unambitious you'll fail-a lot.

If you don't do what you know, you'll miss the opportunity to become what you could.

If you don't learn to put others first you'll learn what it's like to be miserable.

If you go through life longing for more and different but do only shades of the same, you'll guarantee yourself deep regret.

If you spend more than you earn you'll end up broke.

If you don't read and consider different points of view, you'll not only avoid wisdom--you'll befriend ignorance.

If you don't make your kids feel good when they are around you now, they'll learn to get along without you later.

These are just a few basic realities of life. We can convince ourselves that they aren't so but that has not affect on reality. We can decide we're too busy to address them but as the above reality based Ronald depicts, the realities of life and the realities from compromise and its predictable results will find you.

You are The Uncompromised--act like it.

RR

Don't Feel Guilty, Just Be There

There is a sad stereotype of the guy or gal who is at work physically but longing to be with his/her kids--then once with the kids s/he is bogged down with thoughts of work and all that goes with it. This is the short of it but can happen between any area of life/thought.

There is a solution. It's called: Faithfulness

(Bear with me as I choose a gender to keep it simple.)

Over time, as our heroine's mind wanders at work to the point where she is no longer able to do the quality of work she knows in her heart and mind she is capable of, she'll make this wandering--this compromise into a habit and begin to medicate by watching the clock, daydreaming, surfing or... Now she's exacerbating the issue. Deep down she knows that she's not living in integrity and it's killing her!

Her demons go to work on her so she questions her worth, her trustworthiness and more.

So she goes home. As she kicks the soccer ball around the backyard with her kids, she's hit by the guilt that she's not getting the job done in her work. As she becomes more distracted by thoughts of her disappointment for not being more present and productive at work, others perceptions of her and her boss' perspective she inadvertently ceases her faithful execution of her role of mommy.

Now that scamming voice will give her hell for not living into her values or doing what she said she would with regards to being present with the kids or...

As she lays her head down at night, she doesn't rest easy as she contemplates her day of distraction. She has closed her day like she started it, compromising it through misallocation of her emotions and thoughts and efforts.

One more assault from the scammer has her questioning her capacity to do anything, to be effective at all that she has to do and...she peters off to sleep.

She might want to blame busyness or some other external force but the fact of the matter is, she needs to be at work when she's there, be with her kids when she is there and be in bed and rest in peace when she is there.

Simplistic? Dude, try again. It's everything. Try and be present at work over some time and then try and come home and consistently be fully present with your kids (or whatever you do post 9-5), try to let it all go and do what you're supposed to do when it's time to sleep.

It's true that it often takes practice to be where you are and be faithful to what you're called to do at any given moment. That doesn't excuse us from our need to do just that--be faithful.

Here Now,

RR

People are Broken or Amazing. You Choose.

I think people are amazing and capable of remarkable things.

What do you think?

I think people are limited only by their imaginations.

What do you think?

I think people can do just about anything they decide to do.

What do you think?

———————–

If you think people are broken, then you won’t expect them to do amazing things.

Whatever they do–it won’t be enough.

If you think people are broken, you won’t attempt to feed their imaginations with hope and possibility.

You’re teaching them to live your limitations.

If you think people are broken, you’ll not expect them to do anything much.

So you’ll just wait for them to disappoint (again).

Reality Zone:

• People will disappoint you.
• People will forget to dream or give-up on dreaming.
• People will make foolish decisions.

It’s how we see and engage them in the face of these realities that matters. Because as we each know, all too well, we can only control ourselves. But it’s in our ability to control ourselves that we can not only change our own lives, but inspire change in others as well! The Uncompromised in our world speak to the best in people (king/queen) and as a result bring out the best in those they touch.

Be Good – Don’t Compromise,

RR

...and it's still wisdom.

If Charles Manson tells you that 2 + 2 = 4, would you believe him?

If North Korea's Kim Jong Il told you that The Age of Reason, a book by Thomas Paine, was written as an attack on the claims of religion and the legitimacy of the Bible, would his statement be untrue?

Because your favorite reporter, your most adored politician, most loved professor--because your mother, best friend or trusted pastor, rabbi or imam says y is the best policy, peace is necessary through x or that "we" are better or "they" are different or...will it make that assertion true?

Wisdom is wisdom and truth is truth--regardless of its source. Likewise foolishness, folly, ignorance and deceit are each what they are regardless of our affection for their source.

We each need to search for and discover truth and wisdom for ourselves, only then can we possess it and live through it. If we don't get it for ourselves, what we do get won't be wisdom at all. And in fact will have a lot more pain and repeated errors than necessary.

Since you can't borrow wisdom from another and the alternatives to wisdom are frightful (ignorance, blindness, victimhood...), let's each consider what we know and how we know it--and endeavor to be hungry for wisdom.

Uncompromisingly Yours,

RR

Interruption or Opportunity?

Here she comes...the old lady next door wants to talk--you're just trying to do some work in your yard.

Not NOW! A school bus pulls out just ahead of you--now you're stopping every 100 yards for a quarter mile local tour of your neighborhood.

The list could go on of course but it's instructive to think that we call these things interruptions.

Really? What got interrupted?? Your plan? Somewhere along the line we buy into the notion that our plan is the plan and then we become frustrated and less than our best when our plan is interrupted. Silly rabbit...

No. Your plan is your plan and then there are another 7 billion other plans.

At the risk of being all chipper-personal-growthy on you. Your choice is to see reality and accept the unexpected as an opportunity to bring more of what you want into the world or you can deny reality (not a good plan), think you are the center point of time and history, continue to be frustrated by people and their thinking that their plans matter.

I'm just saying...

RR

I'm No Marketing Genius but...

I wrote a blog a week ago and as always was appreciative to see a comment offered by a reader. As I read it though I busted out laughing at the absurdity of the comment that was left. It said simply, "You are welcome to follow my blog." and then offered the link to his site! I'm withholding the name of the misguided.

His comment offered nothing about me, my impact or my content--he saw a space and filled it with him! It reminded me of networking events I used to attend where there would always be the one dude or chick who would run around connecting with nobody but handing out 13,000 business cards. You know the people that listen just long enough to segue into something about themselves?

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not a genius about many numbers of things but I do know that if people aren't comfy with you and don't feel heard and/or respected you might as well save the gas and your time and just put your business cards in the garbage and watch Wheel of Fortune--it'll do just about as much to develop your relationships and subsequent business.

You are welcome to follow me on twitter,

RR

Feeling Uninspired

You know, one of the things that I really like about the personal growth industry is that there is so much good stuff for helping humanity of varying perspectives. Another thing I like is that it's all geared to making whatever is going on better by:

• helping people recognize and enjoy what they already have.
• helping people to learn to appreciate and find the richness in "now".
• helping people find motivation.

Ironically, one of the things that can be so irritating about the personal growth world is its tendency to...always make things better, happy, inspiring...

You know, sometimes I don't want to be inspired. Sometimes, I'm confused and need to regroup. Sometimes I'm uninspired--and trying to manufacture inspiration over a tumult of other feelings can be a rip-off to experiencing other human emotions. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad. Maybe I'm a bit disappointed or lost...uninspired.

There isn't one of us who occasionally lacks inspiration. It's okay. If the there is truth in my words, let them offer permission to you to not be inspired today.

This too is uncompromised.

RR

How to Come Out of Hiding

My last post talked about people's proclivity to hideout and avoid working too hard, whether consciously or unconsciously, by doing things that look or even feel important but bear little fruit.

I got a couple of requests from readers asking, "How does somebody come out of hiding?"

Coming out of hiding...

Like most things it's more simple than we make it. So let's not get caught up (or hide) in working too hard to say what we already know.

1. Take a look around and notice what you are doing.
2. Get curious and rigorous; is what you are doing now what you want/need to be doing as you consider your goals?
3. Get help. Ask people for their help in discerning what you need to do to get where you're going.
4. Stop messing around. Whether from the help you received or upon your own review, when you know what you know, DO SOMETHING!
5. Be prepared for failure, learning and more and wiser action.
6. Be prepared for success and the need for more activity.
7. Be aware of nifty-sounding reasons to do something that is more about hiding than going after what you want.
8. Keep moving.

Of course this isn't exhaustive and misses the nuances of your situation but the main points shouldn't be missed. Be honest and willing to see truth, learn and do based on what you know.

Hiding is compromise of you at your best. That's not cool.

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

RR

Hiding in the Inbox

People find 100 different ways to avoid doing what they must do if their lives are to be what they say they want them to be. What are your hideouts?

I remember, when I first got into business for myself, I ate...a lot! I didn't know how to be in business, I didn't know how to be responsible for my time -bottom line: I didn't know what to do and when I did, I lacked the courage to do it. So I ate.

I distinctly remember talking myself into the idea that I had to have a peanut butter sandwich so I had the energy to make some phone calls. As I sat in my kitchen eating, I realized that I was being a poser. I wasn't in business; I was kicking up dust to look like I was handling something necessary in a entrepreneur's day (eating).

I've got a couple important pieces of writing to do today...not to mention a couple of decisions I need to make -off I went to manage some emails! I caught myself pretty quickly and got to thinking how else do I make my actions look good but fail to follow through on what I know I actually have to do to live what I want.

Well I'll think more about that later but now, now I have a few things I've committed to that need my time. And you? What's your hideout?

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

RR

What is it...?

I'm doing a run that will benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in a month in Albany, NY. Nothing too exciting there. There are races that are run all of the time that benefit some worthy organization -as the CFF is.

This run is to the top of the Corning Tower, Albany's tallest building...42 floors and 809 steps. I woke up this morning wondering why I'm doing it. Sure, I generated some money for CFF but that isn't where I was looking this morning.

Why do I, and really many thousands around the world, do such events? The best answer I can come up with is to satisfy my competitive urge. Though I'm only racing me at this point, I guess I want to see what I've got in terms of my physical strength. But more...for me it's a test.

The test is mental. How hard am I willing to work for what I say I want? How much pain physically and more -mental discomfort am I willing to endure as I head toward what I want?

For me these events focus my mind and check my resolve. I know (as I'm sure many of the other competitors do) on the drive home if I did my best or if my sweat and tired walk provide a performance for me -and those who see me- to hide the fact that I didn't really perform when it mattered.

So maybe I race to check that I'm alive and engaged rather than "phoning it in" or posing.

What is your diagnostic tool to check on you?

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

RR

Although It's Been Said Many Times, Many Ways...

Paralysis by analysis.

Just do it.

Do it now.

The early bird catches the worm.

Don't wait for your ship to come in; swim out to get it.

Ow. I get it...stop thinking and do!

Well I was doing P90X today -man you just have to appreciate the good stuff they put out- when Tony Horton nailed it. He went down to bang out some push-ups and said, "This is my speed." Good form but man he was flying...

I followed Tony's lead and did more push-ups than I'd expected and after the set he told me why. He said, "Get out of your head." Yeah!! No kidding. How many times have I (before I'd even started) talked myself out of a higher count and then succeeded at underachieving? No comment!

Tony's physical expression of: stop thinking and get going, is just what the doctor ordered for many of us. Stop thinking so much about balancing the checkbook; stop thinking about making that call and stop thinking about going for that dream. Do something -now!

Thanks, Tony.

RR

If Only...

If only I had more money...

If only I had more time...

If only I could get a new job...

If only the economy was better...

If only I was appreciated more...

If only I was understood...

If only I was in better shape...

If only things were more simple...

If only I wasn't tired...

If only...

Be Good-Don't Compromise,

RR

The Real Deal

A buddy of mine who was giving a homeless guy money, company, conversation and hope for several months revealed the depth of his integrity one night. His story is worth recalling.

In brief, my pal was avoiding a church service where he'd have to wash the feet of those around him -like Jesus did. He "was not going to touch anyone's feet!"

Not at church but out in his car, he recognize the homeless guy he'd been helping. The guy was high as a kite and covered in his own excrement. My friend bought a couple of news papers to put in his new Audi, sat the homeless guy in his car and brought him home.

My friend ended up cleaning this man (way more than feet!), letting him stay in his house for almost a year as he detoxed, attended programs and got himself back on his feet.

Everyone talks integrity. Many couldn't imagine this level of commitment and few follow through on living a legacy like this.

The Uncompromised, the real deal -whatever! I want it! You?

RR

Lookin' Good By Acting Aloof?

I watched a performance yesterday (it was a dress rehearsal) where two performers arrived late. Their colleagues were already there, practicing (dancing/singing), despite their absence.

As the two walked in, I sort of imagined them humbly mouthing the words "I'm sorry" or something like that -then briskly moving to get on stage to join their colleagues already engaged in their routine.

Nope.

They rolled their eyes at the director's comment that it was about time. They further denied the director and fellow performers as they leisurely de-frocked, got on stage and nonchalantly went through the motions of the performance.

Hey! Humble up! Apologize! Get engaged at 100% and move on!

Your being cool is not only irritating, but it impacts everybody around you. In the meantime you've exchanged lookin' good for something more fulfilling that's gotten only by giving yourself completely to what you do.

Thank You,

RR

The Wrong Lesson

Recently I was witness to someone giving their word to another that they ended up not keeping.

Sometimes the reason for people not following through is legit. Often, is simply isn't.

What is crazy is when the person who failed to do what they said, in an absurd linguistic-judo move, removes the yoke of responsibility from themselves and places the blame on the other!

I was left speechless just a few days ago when the blame was shifted from "Fred" (who didn't keep his word) to "Tom" (the guy who'd been promised then denied something). The lesson being discussed wasn't that Fred needs to keep his word. It was that Tom needs to show more mercy.

I almost fell out of my seat as I watched the offender turn teacher to the offended during the debrief of events. This happens more than we might generally realize. People can shift the blame everywhere but rarely affix it to themselves.

The Uncompromised, on the other hand, are quick to take responsibility. That is part of what makes them different, rare and extraordinary.