Do Something Useless

There is a tired, weak, lazy, unambitious and careless part of each of us. Some call the ego, saboteur, demons or (as I say) scammer. I'm not very interested in what you call it but when you have thoughts that try to keep you comfortable, uninspired and immobilized...know what they are and deal with the enemy of The Uncompromised life aggressively.

Now having said that, I've found that there are many ways that top athletes, spiritual legends, and many other achievers have used to slay those voices that crop up to kill their initiative and efforts. One is the tried and true, "Do it NOW!" Do it now, regardless of how uncomfortable, hard or whatever a situation may be.

Let me offer another option used by some of these greats. Commit to doing something, seemingly useless that ruffles the feathers of your scamming inner-critic nonsense. Do it faithfully and do it well.

Set 10 rocks up at one end of your driveway, get up at 3:30 in the morning and methodically pick up one rock at a time and move it carefully, slowly and gingerly to the other end of the driveway. Do this with all 10 and then put them back where they were. Then, at say 3:55-or whenever you're done, go back to sleep.

It makes no sense, it won't directly put money in your pocket or peace in your heart but it will frustrate that voice that hacks away at your ambition and discipline-both of which are required for you to live the life you want.

If you normally like to run for exercise, go for a run on a local beach (at a nearby lake/the ocean) but first cover yourself with sand. No the Navy Seals won't come knocking but the seemingly meaningless and voluntarily created discomfort from the sand and the abrasion (pun intended) to your ego's insatiable desire for comfort will begin to tame the scammer's expectation for constant satisfaction-and as a result, the quality of your commitments and follow-through will grow regardless of the discomfort that comes with any commitment you might make.

You can do the above or something greater or smaller that frustrates the scammer but avail yourself of the power in doing something useless to do something special.

Enough Said,

RR

It's All Application

Who cares what you know if you won't do something with it?

• Applied knowledge is wisdom.

• Ignored knowledge is destructive.

• Denied knowledge is stupidity.

Since the problem in life is very rarely that we lack information, you can see the above three options for your choice in how to engage your life.

Doing Something,

RR

Using My Own Words

I've been teaching about thirty-five men in a program called Freedom Academy for a few months now. It's a program designed to help men who've suffered addiction (and all of the collateral damage) through a recovery process--I'm there teaching from my book, The Uncompromised.

Just a couple of days ago I raised the bar. "We're looking beyond "staying clean". We're looking at what you really want, what your big dreams are and we're going to get busy creating plans to make it all happen. None of this feeling good as you think about living how you want. We're going to go to work to actually make it happen."

One guy started us off and I coached him to get clear on what he would actually do to get his dreams out of fantasy land. I was both helping this guy and encouraging others to powerfully and positively engage him so we could get the ball rolling as to how we'd work the next guy--and the next.

I decided to go second and open myself up to them regarding one of my challenges. Next thing I knew 9 different guys were hitting me with what they saw and how I was compromising. Then the coup de grace--a guy raised to speak--and he did.

He spoke humbly for about 20 seconds as he quietly searched through my book. I was pretty sure that he was looking down because was nervous to speak publicly-- and that my book just happened to be in his hands. "Now Ron, you say here in Chapter 15... “…entertaining such thoughts makes your daily life harder while compounding the insanity of feeling like something should be different.” " I started laughing at the irony and the fact that he'd hit the nail on the head concerning the lesson I needed to relearn—using my stuff “against me”!

Humorous and humbling!

Class ended and here I am, reminded to do what I’ve long known.

The truth is, we usually need to learn new things; we need to remember and do what we speak and what we know. Yeah, we'll need to be reminded but if we're lucky--rather, if we're smart, we'll surround ourselves with people who will help remind us of who we are, what we know and subsequently remind us to live accordingly.

Don’t you just wish you knew 35 recovering addicts who are willing to speak the hard truth as they had your back?

In Rigor and Humility,

RR

A Blog About Fajitas?

Is "fajitas" Spanish for "make your own burrito"?

I don't want to make my own burritos. But man I keep ordering fajitas when I go to Mexican places. I can't help it; I like them.

I want steak, fried onions/peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and that nifty sauce. But I don't want to have to do the math required to properly divide up the resources (previously mentioned) so I don't end up starring at an empty hot plate and three soft tortilla shells.

I'm not quite sure what the connection between this touch of inspiration and a personal growth message would be. Let me see what I've got though...

Why don't I simply ask for three steak steak soft tacos with onions, peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and nifty sauce? Why do I keep putting myself in this bind of missing dinner time conversations as I do long division on a sizzling plate that some dude is compelled to tell me is hot?

Hey, I know! I could actually ask for what I want. Why continue to damn myself to do math and the manual labor necessary to properly ration my foodstuffs?

Okay, motion carried. Asking for what I want is a good thing and worth trying. I'll be dining on Mexican Wednesday night and commit to ending the insanity.

Thanks for the therapy.

RR

Finding a Hero Amongst the Living

I like Booker T. Washington, Ben Franklin, Mother Teresa and a slew of other brilliant but long since departed people.

• I work to have Washington's dignity.
• I study and evaluate myself to gain Franklin's sagacity.
• I consistently look to give earnestly and generously so to imitate Mother Teresa's compassion in action.

Someone said to me recently, "You really should have some heroes that are still alive." I was first surprised by the truth of this observation and after I stopped laughing, I asked myself why I don't have any living 'idols'? Well after a couple months of reflection, I have an answer.

Though it doesn't seem really evolved, it was true. I found I was protecting myself from learning that someone I'd admired was really a scoundrel. I didn't want to find that I'd invested any part of myself emotionally in someone who had plenty of time and opportunities left to mess up. I liked the neat and finished product that a dead and revered icon provided.

By unconsciously and exclusively following the dead, I was denying the inspiration that comes in the practice of virtue in the living.

I'm happy to report that I'm appreciating the endurance of Dan Jansen, the perspective of the Dali Lama and the consistency of Ron Paul. I don't have to agree with each person's lifestyle, politics, or anything else. I can admire their application of virtue.

In whom do you see virtue? How will you imitate it today?

Following and Leading,

RR

Those Darn Deadlines

You have to have them or you're dabbling in fantasy land.

You have to work hard to hit them or it'll cost you time, money, energy, commitment...

You have to take them seriously otherwise you know the next one won't mean anything.

You have have mercy for yourself when you can't hit them.

You have to not be put off or lay your efforts to rest when you can't quite meet them.

You have to create a new ones and rouse your enthusiasm to hit the next one.

What project or idea is it time to put a deadline on?

RR

Feeling Uninspired

You know, one of the things that I really like about the personal growth industry is that there is so much good stuff for helping humanity of varying perspectives. Another thing I like is that it's all geared to making whatever is going on better by:

• helping people recognize and enjoy what they already have.
• helping people to learn to appreciate and find the richness in "now".
• helping people find motivation.

Ironically, one of the things that can be so irritating about the personal growth world is its tendency to...always make things better, happy, inspiring...

You know, sometimes I don't want to be inspired. Sometimes, I'm confused and need to regroup. Sometimes I'm uninspired--and trying to manufacture inspiration over a tumult of other feelings can be a rip-off to experiencing other human emotions. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad. Maybe I'm a bit disappointed or lost...uninspired.

There isn't one of us who occasionally lacks inspiration. It's okay. If the there is truth in my words, let them offer permission to you to not be inspired today.

This too is uncompromised.

RR

Doing Something...

I've come to detest within myself the tendency to talk about, with impotent intention, what I want. I've been saying I want to be fluent in Spanish for 15 years and have heretofore done very little to substantiate my noble sounding professions. I've gotten my "feel good" by telling people and having them say nice things about my capacity and commitment to learn. Talk about compromise...

Enter the Japanese disaster.

After initial sickness over the seemingly never-ending disaster, I felt that same unsettled feeling I got whenever I hyped my desire to speak Spanish. We all get urges. Those who make a difference in their world (personally and globally) do something with what they know and what they know they must do.

There is so much I can't do but what I am doing is a 5k run/walk to benefit the Red Cross' efforts in Japan. What do you know you must you do in your life that you can no longer just talk about?

Doing Something,

RR

Here are the Run for Japan details followed by expectations:

• April 2, 2011
• 10:30 warm up
• 11am start time
• 11:30/12 Lunch -we'll figure something out...maybe pizza on the tall-handsome guy.
• Boxwood Park (Rotterdam) -right off of I-890 and less than 2 minutes from exit 25 of the NYS Thruway
• Goal $50,000. Yes it's an obnoxiously high goal.
• Make checks payable to "American Red Cross" and place the words "Japanese Aid" in the memo section. All funds will be directed to the earthquake and Tsunami relief efforts in Japan and the Pacific. Red Cross will send you a receipt for your tax deductible gift.
• No cash PLEASE!
• If you want to give toward this specific effort for Japan and can't make it--or you have any questions email me at: Ron@RonRenaud.com
• Email if you are coming or can reasonably say that you can vouch for x number of others coming. We need to know how many cinnamon rolls will be needed to soothe the famished runner!

Expectations:

This isn't a fancy organized run. It is a run with kindred spirits for the sake of recognizing our own blessings and good fortune while we give of our relative abundance to those who've lost much.

Be bold-dig deep and give as much as you feel compelled to give, no pressure. Well not too much anyway.

There will be no bibs -you're responsible to know who you are at the start and end of the race! That's a joke...

Sorry, no aid stations along the way but my wife and a few friends will be baking so it'll be worth your while to run back to where you started!

Winners? When you contribute to the betterment of another you win. You are cordially invited to come and win!

This isn't an event sanctioned by any running governing body. It's a 5k route that I've measured out with my car and regularly run with a pal--Scott, if you must know.

Please tell anyone and everyone you know! Let's do something special.

Peace,

RR

How to Come Out of Hiding

My last post talked about people's proclivity to hideout and avoid working too hard, whether consciously or unconsciously, by doing things that look or even feel important but bear little fruit.

I got a couple of requests from readers asking, "How does somebody come out of hiding?"

Coming out of hiding...

Like most things it's more simple than we make it. So let's not get caught up (or hide) in working too hard to say what we already know.

1. Take a look around and notice what you are doing.
2. Get curious and rigorous; is what you are doing now what you want/need to be doing as you consider your goals?
3. Get help. Ask people for their help in discerning what you need to do to get where you're going.
4. Stop messing around. Whether from the help you received or upon your own review, when you know what you know, DO SOMETHING!
5. Be prepared for failure, learning and more and wiser action.
6. Be prepared for success and the need for more activity.
7. Be aware of nifty-sounding reasons to do something that is more about hiding than going after what you want.
8. Keep moving.

Of course this isn't exhaustive and misses the nuances of your situation but the main points shouldn't be missed. Be honest and willing to see truth, learn and do based on what you know.

Hiding is compromise of you at your best. That's not cool.

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

RR

Patience and Polishing

I used to be a mason. I laid brick and stone; I plastered and poured concrete. It was messy, hard and sometimes downright painful work.

I remember though, that there would be occasions where I'd come 'out of the field' (off a job site) and into the workshop to do some more, fine work. One of the things I did occasionally was polish a stone countertop or the like.

Without giving a lesson on stone polishing, let me say this: It was fun, dignifying and very difficult in a different way. Working on yourself is like polishing a piece of stone.

The essence of polishing a piece of stone is that you have to use ever-decreasingly abrasive materials while increasing the speed of application so you can smooth and reveal the true color and shine in a stone -its identity of sorts.

Being the craftsman selected felt great but following through on the expectation of the finished product demanded dedication to a very high standard of quality and consistency not to mention the strength and persistence to carry out the task.

Isn't that like life?

Here you are the craftsman or craftswoman. Will you hold a high standard and patiently exert your strength and will to reveal your identity -the best of who you are?

Affectionately Bonded,

RR

I Don't Understand!

But I brush three times a day!

Yes, I floss!

No, these are NOT my teeth but I did just get back from the dentist.

I had a very brief but fascinating conversation with Nicole, my hygienist. Ah-hem, my teeth were very nice and easy to clean -not much scraping. Pictures not forthcoming.

Anyway, Nicole said that it's amazing how gunky the teeth are that people come in with. I get it, we've all seen some nasty teeth before. But I busted out laughing when she said in all seriousness, and a fair degree of faith in her clients, that many of these people will say some version of, "But I brush three times a day and floss!"

Look, I could go on but...what a scam! Here is where I'm looking today: Where am I gunked up, in denial and acting as if I'm doing all I can do while the results are there for all with eyes to see?

With Sparkling Teeth and Looking Elsewhere,

RR

Dust and Sweat

Sometimes we fail to do what we’re capable of.

It’s even worse when, deep in the recesses of our minds, we decide that we aren’t really going to work so hard but… we’ll keep up the illusion.

This is where we kick up a lot of dust to make our efforts look convincing and sincere -while we know that we aren’t really doing what we are capable of.

I’ve seen people sweat (literally and figuratively) and actually work harder avoiding work than if they just did the thing they are avoiding. Come on… haven’t you seen that guy who huffs and puffs as if he’s totally maxed-out after not doing anything but notice you watching? This happen in offices, athletics, construction… It actually is kind of funny isn’t it?

The trick is to notice when we’re pulling one over on ourselves. This is compromise and it’s an easy habit to acquire.

Don’t Compromise,

RR

Dad's Wisdom

I used to be a mason (brick, block, concrete). It was there that I received a lot of life's best lessons. Today we'll talk about one of my dad's keepers.

I worked for my dad by the way. Now, say that to most people and the think something along the lines of, "posh gig" or "good deal being the boss' son".

Consider this: most people who've worked for family have a different perspective -as the expectations are usually much greater. My dad put everything in hock -mortgaged the house and everything for a shot at success in business. Not posh.

What does this equal? Urgency, rigor and a low tolerance for nonsense. At 18, I needed to learn all three.

There were occasions where we'd be done with all the work necessary and waiting on a concrete truck or a delivery. My dad couldn't stand idleness. In all seriousness, he'd snap- "Hey, Ronnie, sweep the floor, jog in place, Do Something!"

Bottom line: You are here to be productive -PRODUCE!

My bottom line? Have fun, yes... but Do Something!

RR

Bad Habits in Moderation?

Do you know what Angry Birds is?

It is a really cool game app that engages your mind, heart and addiction gland by clever use of physics, logic and electronic force. You are an 'angry bird'. Your beloved eggs have been stolen by nefarious green pigs. Over hundreds of boards you attack and kill these pigs in the attempt to rescue your eggs.

Fine.

Except this game, is the culmination of some outrageous number of hyper-cool cosmic elements colliding. Somehow, it's actually nearly impossible to stop playing.

Funny... until I want to get something done. I've literally had to resort to saying out loud, "This is the last game." and then and only then can I stop!! I've actually gone to bed saying that I'd play for just a few minutes and an hour later I'm forcefully declaring to myself that, "This is it!"

I think I'd be better off just deleting the silly game as moderation is hard with this thing. It might sound goofy, but it is true. What's not funny is how I am with this game undermines my commitment to sleep and then I'm more tired than I want, then...

Silly little compromise and... not really.

Am I alone? What 'bad' habits do you do that moderation is hard to achieve if not an all-together myth?

RR

How Do You Appeal?

An appeal was made to me recently that I kind of resent. Not only do I not feel honored or inspired by this appeal, I feel frustrated, and as I said... resentment.

I'm really quick to notice what I have to learn both in my own private life and on this blog but today I want to shine the light 'out there'.

The creators/discoverers of NLP Bandler/Grinder said it best when they said that the meaning of any communication is the meaning that is received. That puts the responsibility to communicate effectively directly on the shoulders of the one communicating.

I've noticed appeals from friends, families, strangers, high school kids wanting to sell $10 discount cards, Girl Scouts and their infernal delicious cookies and the bank teller who suddenly is excited about my banking needs as they chipper-ly tell me about their CD rate of - 1.45%.

When you want something, when you have an agenda... what do you do? Do you become someone else?? Do you turn on the charm? Do you manipulate emotions such as guilt or pity? Do you overwhelm with excitement? It's worth noticing.

What strikes me is that if the bank teller was always nice and friendly to me, asking curious question and/or connecting, I'd be much more open to hearing his/her pitch. It seems to me that we'd better engage people with the best in us, not just when we want something.

RR