Don't Feel Guilty, Just Be There

There is a sad stereotype of the guy or gal who is at work physically but longing to be with his/her kids--then once with the kids s/he is bogged down with thoughts of work and all that goes with it. This is the short of it but can happen between any area of life/thought.

There is a solution. It's called: Faithfulness

(Bear with me as I choose a gender to keep it simple.)

Over time, as our heroine's mind wanders at work to the point where she is no longer able to do the quality of work she knows in her heart and mind she is capable of, she'll make this wandering--this compromise into a habit and begin to medicate by watching the clock, daydreaming, surfing or... Now she's exacerbating the issue. Deep down she knows that she's not living in integrity and it's killing her!

Her demons go to work on her so she questions her worth, her trustworthiness and more.

So she goes home. As she kicks the soccer ball around the backyard with her kids, she's hit by the guilt that she's not getting the job done in her work. As she becomes more distracted by thoughts of her disappointment for not being more present and productive at work, others perceptions of her and her boss' perspective she inadvertently ceases her faithful execution of her role of mommy.

Now that scamming voice will give her hell for not living into her values or doing what she said she would with regards to being present with the kids or...

As she lays her head down at night, she doesn't rest easy as she contemplates her day of distraction. She has closed her day like she started it, compromising it through misallocation of her emotions and thoughts and efforts.

One more assault from the scammer has her questioning her capacity to do anything, to be effective at all that she has to do and...she peters off to sleep.

She might want to blame busyness or some other external force but the fact of the matter is, she needs to be at work when she's there, be with her kids when she is there and be in bed and rest in peace when she is there.

Simplistic? Dude, try again. It's everything. Try and be present at work over some time and then try and come home and consistently be fully present with your kids (or whatever you do post 9-5), try to let it all go and do what you're supposed to do when it's time to sleep.

It's true that it often takes practice to be where you are and be faithful to what you're called to do at any given moment. That doesn't excuse us from our need to do just that--be faithful.

Here Now,

RR

Interruption or Opportunity?

Here she comes...the old lady next door wants to talk--you're just trying to do some work in your yard.

Not NOW! A school bus pulls out just ahead of you--now you're stopping every 100 yards for a quarter mile local tour of your neighborhood.

The list could go on of course but it's instructive to think that we call these things interruptions.

Really? What got interrupted?? Your plan? Somewhere along the line we buy into the notion that our plan is the plan and then we become frustrated and less than our best when our plan is interrupted. Silly rabbit...

No. Your plan is your plan and then there are another 7 billion other plans.

At the risk of being all chipper-personal-growthy on you. Your choice is to see reality and accept the unexpected as an opportunity to bring more of what you want into the world or you can deny reality (not a good plan), think you are the center point of time and history, continue to be frustrated by people and their thinking that their plans matter.

I'm just saying...

RR

Those Darn Deadlines

You have to have them or you're dabbling in fantasy land.

You have to work hard to hit them or it'll cost you time, money, energy, commitment...

You have to take them seriously otherwise you know the next one won't mean anything.

You have have mercy for yourself when you can't hit them.

You have to not be put off or lay your efforts to rest when you can't quite meet them.

You have to create a new ones and rouse your enthusiasm to hit the next one.

What project or idea is it time to put a deadline on?

RR

What To Do With A Crappy Blog Post

I think there are some greater life lessons in here. I bet you are a big enough boy or girl to extrapolate them.

If you write in a circle and can't unknot it... delete it.

If you don't know what you are writing and end up confusing yourself... stop and figure out what in the world you're trying to say.

If you're ready to press "publish" on a mediocre post... don't.

If you are trying to impress someone as you write... pause and let that go.

If you are busy trying to get your needs met as you write... call your mommy -then finish your post.

Just a Thought or Two,

RR

PS Where did the idea for this post come? The convoluted and wanna-be-profound post I wrote and deleted just prior to breathing this one out.

If Only...

If only I had more money...

If only I had more time...

If only I could get a new job...

If only the economy was better...

If only I was appreciated more...

If only I was understood...

If only I was in better shape...

If only things were more simple...

If only I wasn't tired...

If only...

Be Good-Don't Compromise,

RR

Dust and Sweat

Sometimes we fail to do what we’re capable of.

It’s even worse when, deep in the recesses of our minds, we decide that we aren’t really going to work so hard but… we’ll keep up the illusion.

This is where we kick up a lot of dust to make our efforts look convincing and sincere -while we know that we aren’t really doing what we are capable of.

I’ve seen people sweat (literally and figuratively) and actually work harder avoiding work than if they just did the thing they are avoiding. Come on… haven’t you seen that guy who huffs and puffs as if he’s totally maxed-out after not doing anything but notice you watching? This happen in offices, athletics, construction… It actually is kind of funny isn’t it?

The trick is to notice when we’re pulling one over on ourselves. This is compromise and it’s an easy habit to acquire.

Don’t Compromise,

RR

Dad's Wisdom

I used to be a mason (brick, block, concrete). It was there that I received a lot of life's best lessons. Today we'll talk about one of my dad's keepers.

I worked for my dad by the way. Now, say that to most people and the think something along the lines of, "posh gig" or "good deal being the boss' son".

Consider this: most people who've worked for family have a different perspective -as the expectations are usually much greater. My dad put everything in hock -mortgaged the house and everything for a shot at success in business. Not posh.

What does this equal? Urgency, rigor and a low tolerance for nonsense. At 18, I needed to learn all three.

There were occasions where we'd be done with all the work necessary and waiting on a concrete truck or a delivery. My dad couldn't stand idleness. In all seriousness, he'd snap- "Hey, Ronnie, sweep the floor, jog in place, Do Something!"

Bottom line: You are here to be productive -PRODUCE!

My bottom line? Have fun, yes... but Do Something!

RR