The Danger of Tribes

"Tribes" is one of the new words that everyone from marketers to social activists are using. Let's not get all giddy about fitting into a tribe, being a tribe and being lead by a charismatic or insightful creator of a tribe without pausing to think. (Whether that tribe is called a group, committee, team, family, race, religion, psychographic...)

We can't avoid the fact that there are tribes all around us any more than we can avoid our own membership in multiple tribes. We can avoid ignorance in how we engage others inside and outside our tribes if we'll open our eyes to both sides of tribes.

There are pros to tribes. What are some?

• You are with people who think like you
• You are immersed in traditions, thinking, culture and lessons of those who've "been there".
• You get to leverage the ideas and efforts of people on the same page
• You can make a big difference in your community and outside of it
• "Positive peer pressure" from those who know you

Oh, there are many more, I know.

But we'd be fooling ourselves if we didn't pay attention to the other side. The cons of tribes or of the tribe mentality are:

• Arrogance that we get it while they don't
• The mentality that the ends justifies the means
• Individual personalities, needs and aspirations get lost
• Identities (of individuals) are warped as is the menu of possible actions in life based on the identity of the tribe rule the day
• People shut their minds off and let the leader do their thinking

Of course there are more here on the con side as well.

The point, though, isn't that tribes are bad. The point is to think. The point is to consciously choose which tribes you belong to and to be aware of the tribes you belong to without your choice (color, heritage...). The point is to be aware of the great benefits and the wonderful possibilities from casual or engaged membership in a tribe as well as the dangers and the pity seemingly inherent in tribes.

MLK Jr. said it all when he spoke of the day when people are judged by the content of their character rather than...(any tribe that separates, divides and sets one against another). Be Good. Be part of that tribe--those committed to being good and doing great in humility.

Be Good - Do Great,

RR

What is Justice?

Really, there are so many ideas that we can't avoid engaging. Justice is one of them.

So often we assume what something means, often unconsciously, and then go about the business of life as if it were accepted fact and those who disagree with us are somehow missing something. Are they?

First things first, let's get clear about this universal idea that's reflected in our every thought and action--including everyone else's too!

We all want justice; but what is justice?

Justice is a doctrine of fairness or right.

We always feel justified in our thoughts and actions (at least in the moment); but who or what determines what is really justifiable concerning a particular issue at a certain time regarding a specific issue?

Ah, here lies the rub. Unthought out rationale can't help but produce purely inherently selfish justification. Why? Because without considering a higher truth or greater purpose, we all default to justice meaning our being right--our justification. Well, that's not going to work.

Think about the countless religions, philosophies, beliefs and experiences possible in this world and compound it by billions of individual perspectives that both reflect the afore mentioned factors as well as transient moods, the gain of experience (traumatic and pleasurable) and perhaps wisdom, we're going to end up with quite a soup of ideas on what the nuances of justice really are. And subsequently how we relate with one another.

Call me a peace-freak but I'm just idealistic enough to believe that heaven on earth, the kingdom of God, utopia and nirvana is possible, NOW!

I'll propose no answers but I will ask a couple of questions--as I believe new, different, better questions produce awareness, sensitivity and wisdom. From wisdom and sensitivity come better conversations and better solutions to problems within ourselves, with our families and with the nation 10,000 miles away.

What is just? What is right?

How can you know?

How can that be verified?

What is the virtuous and wise application of what you understand to be just?

How would you know if you're right? How would you know if you were wrong?

Justifiably Yours,

RR

Decisive or Impulsive

I'm trying to figure this one out. Trying to be decisive, I know I've been impulsive. There is a difference because I know I've experienced different results from making swift decisions--which both words connote.

I definitely want to be one of those alluring and inspiring people we've each experienced or seen who sums up a situation and responds with the right amount of power. They're gentle and compassionate when required; they're assertive and precise when those qualities are required.

Looking "impulsive" up in the dictionary, I found the key. Impulsiveness is a quick decision that isn't well thought out (ill-considered). Fine. But I don't have all day to think things out if I'm trying to be decisive!

Ahh, but that's the point. Think! Think about various scenarios, think about why you do any thing specifically and many things in general. Know why you do what you do. Think about these things before the heat is turned up. JFK said, "The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining."

It's in knowing what we believe and "why" that helps us move from quick ignorance (impulsiveness) to decisiveness.

Decidedly Yours,

RR

Interruption or Opportunity?

Here she comes...the old lady next door wants to talk--you're just trying to do some work in your yard.

Not NOW! A school bus pulls out just ahead of you--now you're stopping every 100 yards for a quarter mile local tour of your neighborhood.

The list could go on of course but it's instructive to think that we call these things interruptions.

Really? What got interrupted?? Your plan? Somewhere along the line we buy into the notion that our plan is the plan and then we become frustrated and less than our best when our plan is interrupted. Silly rabbit...

No. Your plan is your plan and then there are another 7 billion other plans.

At the risk of being all chipper-personal-growthy on you. Your choice is to see reality and accept the unexpected as an opportunity to bring more of what you want into the world or you can deny reality (not a good plan), think you are the center point of time and history, continue to be frustrated by people and their thinking that their plans matter.

I'm just saying...

RR

The Dabbler's Lament

A paragon of endurance, Mother Teresa labored in the gut of Calcutta for decades giving everything she had to help the "poorest of the poor". She held the hands of lepers, applied medication to open maggot-infested wounds of the dying and held the skeleton-bodies of broken infants as they left this life.

She didn't seek attention, she avoided it as it took her from her what she knew to be most important: expressing love to all those who society was mindful to forget. The world sought her.

The dabbler's lament is elusive fulfillment. He knows that he ought to do things, whether for others or even himself, but he doesn't think in terms of self-sacrifice except as it serves his more immediate purpose. That purpose might be recognition to feel a sense of value, pity so as to dismiss his responsibility, guilt to better control another or the perpetuation of an image that needs occasional maintenance.

Having lost a sense of "mission", the dabbler needs to be seen. She survives on consciously created PR campaigns designed to have people see her a certain way. So self-absorbed is the dabbler that she's lost part of her humanity--becoming blind to the needs of those around her.

Chances are, you're neither a Mother Teresa nor a total dabbler. Reflecting on the dabbler's lament and the joyful life of a saint:

Where do you see you need to engage people differently?

Where is your "mission field"?

Though these examples are somewhat black and white...we still are forced to choose and live that shade of gray. I wonder what you'll choose.

Your Servant,

RR

Finding a Hero Amongst the Living

I like Booker T. Washington, Ben Franklin, Mother Teresa and a slew of other brilliant but long since departed people.

• I work to have Washington's dignity.
• I study and evaluate myself to gain Franklin's sagacity.
• I consistently look to give earnestly and generously so to imitate Mother Teresa's compassion in action.

Someone said to me recently, "You really should have some heroes that are still alive." I was first surprised by the truth of this observation and after I stopped laughing, I asked myself why I don't have any living 'idols'? Well after a couple months of reflection, I have an answer.

Though it doesn't seem really evolved, it was true. I found I was protecting myself from learning that someone I'd admired was really a scoundrel. I didn't want to find that I'd invested any part of myself emotionally in someone who had plenty of time and opportunities left to mess up. I liked the neat and finished product that a dead and revered icon provided.

By unconsciously and exclusively following the dead, I was denying the inspiration that comes in the practice of virtue in the living.

I'm happy to report that I'm appreciating the endurance of Dan Jansen, the perspective of the Dali Lama and the consistency of Ron Paul. I don't have to agree with each person's lifestyle, politics, or anything else. I can admire their application of virtue.

In whom do you see virtue? How will you imitate it today?

Following and Leading,

RR