You Can't Go Right From Wrong

What do you do if you’re typing along and see that you’ve misspelled a word? You recognize it and fix it. You back up to where the wrong letter is and you delete it. You eliminate if from the word you’re looking to have convey an idea that seems worth your time to even express.

Why? Because you can’t spell a word right using a wrong letter. Is the expression of your life worth less relative energy, thought and commitment than you give to a written communication?

First: Recognize the wrong (or what isn’t working) in your life.

Second: Eradicate that wrong (or stupid/destructive behavior) by replacing it with what it’ll take to get you to express what you really want in your life.

Third: Enjoy the benefits of right living.

Repeat.

RR

PS Or you can make it more difficult, time consuming and life defining.

Taking Leave Because I Left?

What in the hell happens??

I'm in NYC teaching a group of rock-star coaches. I've got to meet a business associate at 7:15 am each morning. If I'm going to workout, as I do each day at home, I have to do it at 5 am (which I normally don't do!) so I can hit my other obligations. Fair enough.

Why then, when I'm traveling and that alarm goes off, do I feel so justified in not needing to do what is so matter-of-fact at home? I start to negotiate with myself based on my prior decision to get up, work out and...and live according to my consciously designed plan for what I want in my life!

"You're tired."

"One day won't matter."

"The rest will actually build your strength for tomorrow's workout." --Gotta like that one!

You know how it goes.

Negotiating with yourself when you're "intoxicated" by stress, fear, fatigue--"under the influence", whether it's via some substance or strong emotion, is a scam and a dangerous way to make decisions about your life. But we all do it.

But what about you? Under what circumstances do you find yourself renegotiating good decisions that you'd made in "sobriety" and instead considering things, lifestyles, options, etc. that are nothing more than pure compromise with a momentarily strong PR campaign--and certainly not anything you'd choose when you're at your best?

Soberly,

RR

The Great American "Survivalist"

You'd think we were on a trek across the Serengeti the way they packed provisions for the long journey. Food rations and beverages to include sports drinks to replace lost electrolytes and sodium needed for the body's very survival were all in great supply-packed and consumed by those weary travelers as they endured the three-hour journey on a Greyhound bus from Albany, NY to New York City.

You can see this same mentality at work on playgrounds all over America. Moms and dads packing snacks for their kid's refreshment during the grueling 90-minute play-date with the other hungry and parched children.

Don't ever wonder why Americans are overweight. If Johnny can't hit the playground without mommy teaching him that Ritz Crackers and Gatorade are required for his nourishment after 45 minutes of such jungle-gym-toil, then of course, 30 years later he'll find himself on a Greyhound needing the same sustenance during the span that is: after breakfast and before lunch.

Unfortunately, the survivalist mentality that has people doing the above, has them over-dramatize other circumstances in their life as well. When people aren't up to much, everything becomes something to overcome, to deal with, to survive. The Uncompromised have consciously created goals, clear plans and too much invested in their vision to be thrown off by trivial non-issues or self-destructive behavior.

What are you hungry for?

RR

People are Broken or Amazing. You Choose.

I think people are amazing and capable of remarkable things.

What do you think?

I think people are limited only by their imaginations.

What do you think?

I think people can do just about anything they decide to do.

What do you think?

———————–

If you think people are broken, then you won’t expect them to do amazing things.

Whatever they do–it won’t be enough.

If you think people are broken, you won’t attempt to feed their imaginations with hope and possibility.

You’re teaching them to live your limitations.

If you think people are broken, you’ll not expect them to do anything much.

So you’ll just wait for them to disappoint (again).

Reality Zone:

• People will disappoint you.
• People will forget to dream or give-up on dreaming.
• People will make foolish decisions.

It’s how we see and engage them in the face of these realities that matters. Because as we each know, all too well, we can only control ourselves. But it’s in our ability to control ourselves that we can not only change our own lives, but inspire change in others as well! The Uncompromised in our world speak to the best in people (king/queen) and as a result bring out the best in those they touch.

Be Good – Don’t Compromise,

RR

It's All Application

Who cares what you know if you won't do something with it?

• Applied knowledge is wisdom.

• Ignored knowledge is destructive.

• Denied knowledge is stupidity.

Since the problem in life is very rarely that we lack information, you can see the above three options for your choice in how to engage your life.

Doing Something,

RR

The Danger of Tribes

"Tribes" is one of the new words that everyone from marketers to social activists are using. Let's not get all giddy about fitting into a tribe, being a tribe and being lead by a charismatic or insightful creator of a tribe without pausing to think. (Whether that tribe is called a group, committee, team, family, race, religion, psychographic...)

We can't avoid the fact that there are tribes all around us any more than we can avoid our own membership in multiple tribes. We can avoid ignorance in how we engage others inside and outside our tribes if we'll open our eyes to both sides of tribes.

There are pros to tribes. What are some?

• You are with people who think like you
• You are immersed in traditions, thinking, culture and lessons of those who've "been there".
• You get to leverage the ideas and efforts of people on the same page
• You can make a big difference in your community and outside of it
• "Positive peer pressure" from those who know you

Oh, there are many more, I know.

But we'd be fooling ourselves if we didn't pay attention to the other side. The cons of tribes or of the tribe mentality are:

• Arrogance that we get it while they don't
• The mentality that the ends justifies the means
• Individual personalities, needs and aspirations get lost
• Identities (of individuals) are warped as is the menu of possible actions in life based on the identity of the tribe rule the day
• People shut their minds off and let the leader do their thinking

Of course there are more here on the con side as well.

The point, though, isn't that tribes are bad. The point is to think. The point is to consciously choose which tribes you belong to and to be aware of the tribes you belong to without your choice (color, heritage...). The point is to be aware of the great benefits and the wonderful possibilities from casual or engaged membership in a tribe as well as the dangers and the pity seemingly inherent in tribes.

MLK Jr. said it all when he spoke of the day when people are judged by the content of their character rather than...(any tribe that separates, divides and sets one against another). Be Good. Be part of that tribe--those committed to being good and doing great in humility.

Be Good - Do Great,

RR

Mondays That Never Come

I just was on the phone with a client who impressed me so much. Her choice was a simple one but it's an example of the kind of choice that shapes the lives of The Uncompromised.

Many of you who know me, know that I've done the Insanity 60-day workout and that I rave about how great it is, the results I got and how it made me feel. I've told so many people about Insanity, I joke that I ought to be earning a commission on the number of people I've gotten to buy it.

Enter client X. Upon hearing one of my Insanity rants (no pun intended) she quietly decided to purchase it. On the Insanity calendar and in most people's minds, day one is Monday. That is...unless you really want what you open your mouth and profess.

What if you get the DVD's on Wednesday? Should you continue to eat as you have, put your first workout day in your calendar for Monday and then tread water for five days? That's one plan. But of course there is no magic in Monday--and for too many the Monday mentality is a poison, as too often Monday never comes.

How about this? Client gets DVD's and starts.

When? Saturday?

Why? Because she has integrity concerning her vision.

There, not only is no power in Monday, but is amazing power bound up in acting on the opportunity today. It's Tuesday; you are The Uncompromised. What will you do?

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

RR

Decisive or Impulsive

I'm trying to figure this one out. Trying to be decisive, I know I've been impulsive. There is a difference because I know I've experienced different results from making swift decisions--which both words connote.

I definitely want to be one of those alluring and inspiring people we've each experienced or seen who sums up a situation and responds with the right amount of power. They're gentle and compassionate when required; they're assertive and precise when those qualities are required.

Looking "impulsive" up in the dictionary, I found the key. Impulsiveness is a quick decision that isn't well thought out (ill-considered). Fine. But I don't have all day to think things out if I'm trying to be decisive!

Ahh, but that's the point. Think! Think about various scenarios, think about why you do any thing specifically and many things in general. Know why you do what you do. Think about these things before the heat is turned up. JFK said, "The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining."

It's in knowing what we believe and "why" that helps us move from quick ignorance (impulsiveness) to decisiveness.

Decidedly Yours,

RR

Interruption or Opportunity?

Here she comes...the old lady next door wants to talk--you're just trying to do some work in your yard.

Not NOW! A school bus pulls out just ahead of you--now you're stopping every 100 yards for a quarter mile local tour of your neighborhood.

The list could go on of course but it's instructive to think that we call these things interruptions.

Really? What got interrupted?? Your plan? Somewhere along the line we buy into the notion that our plan is the plan and then we become frustrated and less than our best when our plan is interrupted. Silly rabbit...

No. Your plan is your plan and then there are another 7 billion other plans.

At the risk of being all chipper-personal-growthy on you. Your choice is to see reality and accept the unexpected as an opportunity to bring more of what you want into the world or you can deny reality (not a good plan), think you are the center point of time and history, continue to be frustrated by people and their thinking that their plans matter.

I'm just saying...

RR

A Blog About Fajitas?

Is "fajitas" Spanish for "make your own burrito"?

I don't want to make my own burritos. But man I keep ordering fajitas when I go to Mexican places. I can't help it; I like them.

I want steak, fried onions/peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and that nifty sauce. But I don't want to have to do the math required to properly divide up the resources (previously mentioned) so I don't end up starring at an empty hot plate and three soft tortilla shells.

I'm not quite sure what the connection between this touch of inspiration and a personal growth message would be. Let me see what I've got though...

Why don't I simply ask for three steak steak soft tacos with onions, peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and nifty sauce? Why do I keep putting myself in this bind of missing dinner time conversations as I do long division on a sizzling plate that some dude is compelled to tell me is hot?

Hey, I know! I could actually ask for what I want. Why continue to damn myself to do math and the manual labor necessary to properly ration my foodstuffs?

Okay, motion carried. Asking for what I want is a good thing and worth trying. I'll be dining on Mexican Wednesday night and commit to ending the insanity.

Thanks for the therapy.

RR

The Dabbler's Lament

A paragon of endurance, Mother Teresa labored in the gut of Calcutta for decades giving everything she had to help the "poorest of the poor". She held the hands of lepers, applied medication to open maggot-infested wounds of the dying and held the skeleton-bodies of broken infants as they left this life.

She didn't seek attention, she avoided it as it took her from her what she knew to be most important: expressing love to all those who society was mindful to forget. The world sought her.

The dabbler's lament is elusive fulfillment. He knows that he ought to do things, whether for others or even himself, but he doesn't think in terms of self-sacrifice except as it serves his more immediate purpose. That purpose might be recognition to feel a sense of value, pity so as to dismiss his responsibility, guilt to better control another or the perpetuation of an image that needs occasional maintenance.

Having lost a sense of "mission", the dabbler needs to be seen. She survives on consciously created PR campaigns designed to have people see her a certain way. So self-absorbed is the dabbler that she's lost part of her humanity--becoming blind to the needs of those around her.

Chances are, you're neither a Mother Teresa nor a total dabbler. Reflecting on the dabbler's lament and the joyful life of a saint:

Where do you see you need to engage people differently?

Where is your "mission field"?

Though these examples are somewhat black and white...we still are forced to choose and live that shade of gray. I wonder what you'll choose.

Your Servant,

RR

I'm No Marketing Genius but...

I wrote a blog a week ago and as always was appreciative to see a comment offered by a reader. As I read it though I busted out laughing at the absurdity of the comment that was left. It said simply, "You are welcome to follow my blog." and then offered the link to his site! I'm withholding the name of the misguided.

His comment offered nothing about me, my impact or my content--he saw a space and filled it with him! It reminded me of networking events I used to attend where there would always be the one dude or chick who would run around connecting with nobody but handing out 13,000 business cards. You know the people that listen just long enough to segue into something about themselves?

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not a genius about many numbers of things but I do know that if people aren't comfy with you and don't feel heard and/or respected you might as well save the gas and your time and just put your business cards in the garbage and watch Wheel of Fortune--it'll do just about as much to develop your relationships and subsequent business.

You are welcome to follow me on twitter,

RR