What To Do With A Crappy Blog Post

I think there are some greater life lessons in here. I bet you are a big enough boy or girl to extrapolate them.

If you write in a circle and can't unknot it... delete it.

If you don't know what you are writing and end up confusing yourself... stop and figure out what in the world you're trying to say.

If you're ready to press "publish" on a mediocre post... don't.

If you are trying to impress someone as you write... pause and let that go.

If you are busy trying to get your needs met as you write... call your mommy -then finish your post.

Just a Thought or Two,

RR

PS Where did the idea for this post come? The convoluted and wanna-be-profound post I wrote and deleted just prior to breathing this one out.

Oh the Humility!

Sometime in early November 2010 I wrote an email to Chris Brogan, a dude that I like/respect because he seems pretty darn real and yet a big-time rock star in the social media world.

Well, on a whim I decided, "I'm really cool myself. This dude should know who I am!" So I sent him an email; I hoped to create a connection.

Fine.

Well, as this wasn't a concerted action, more of a throw spaghetti against the wall deal, I completely forgot that I sent the email at all.

About two weeks later I received this:

---------

Howdy Ron,

You wrote:

"Son of a...! My email box is so full of your great posts/blogs that I can't keep up. Seriously, your stuff rocks and is so informative, real and immediately helpful. I can't delete one until I've read it and understand what you're saying.

----------

Well I became giddy! I thought something to the effect of, "First of all, this guy sounds just like me when he writes. Dude, thinks my stuff is good!!! Well, my posts are really real and I do try to be helpful. Wow, what cool feedback from a guy who really knows!!!!"

I not only failed to read the part that says, "You wrote:" but also missed the fact that it sounded so much like me because it was me! The "you" in "You wrote" was me!!! I wrote!

I went from puffed up with pride to quite humble...and amused in about .34 seconds!

Lessons? Gosh, I don't know... Read what you're reading? Recognize your own writing?

I don't know what to say except that I'm still laughing at myself...

RR

What Will Happen

So what will you do today?

I'm going to write two short biographies for the new TheUncompromised.com site (not up yet).

I'm going to coach one client.

I'm going to work with one professional coach to help him be better at his trade.

I'm going to converse with my editor about my book (she has it).

I'm going to...

Good intentions are the starting place. Good activity is how businesses, lives and circumstances are altered.

What will you do?

RR

If Only...

If only I had more money...

If only I had more time...

If only I could get a new job...

If only the economy was better...

If only I was appreciated more...

If only I was understood...

If only I was in better shape...

If only things were more simple...

If only I wasn't tired...

If only...

Be Good-Don't Compromise,

RR

It's a Grand Scam!

Everybody like a good baseball analogy. Ahem! I said, EVERYBODY likes a good baseball analogy.

Sometimes when I'm coaching I'll hear my clients say something that we both know isn't true or is some goofy or downright destructive thing they're considering that it keeps them from living like The Uncompromised. That goofy crap I call their 'scam'.

After we identify their scam a bit more clearly I'll suggest they add it to their ESPN highlight reel of cool moves they use to keep them where they are. From time to time, there is something uttered or something avoided that is so obvious, so ridiculous and unfortunately so destructive it is worthy of labeling a Grand Scam!

Mine used to be: I'm too young. Completely debilitating to be 29 years old and too young for... well anything I wanted to do. By the way, I had that until the day I figured that my scam was killing me and that in time I'd simply switch to, I'm too old.

Oh, I've had more and still have some...

What is your Grand Scam that aint nobody cheering for? ...at least not anybody you'd be proud to bring home to your mother.

RR

4:30 AM

I never regret when I get up at 4:30 AM. In my house, it guarantees me two solid hours in total silence.

Benjamin Franklin said 10 or 20 years ago (plus or minus 250), "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man (women too) healthy, wealthy and wise." I'm down with that plan.

I know there are those who get that quiet time at night (I just don't get it) but regardless of when... get you some. If you are up to anything worthwhile -and this might be a test, you need that alone, quiet, writing, reflecting and/or creative time.

I'd fallen off the wagon recently as I started staying up later so I could do more over the course of a couple days. Well that turning into several days makes morning wake up later and later. Suddenly I'm working, not at my best (4:30-6:30 AM), but just 'doing more busy stuff' between 9 and 11. Not productive. Compromised. Fatigue... ug.

Sometimes it's hard to remember what you are investing in before you get the payoff. For me, getting to bed with a book at 9:30 preferably, and 10 for sure, guarantees a happy boy in the morning.

Oye! I'll let you know how I did this week on Thursday!

17 days until my book is due to the editor! I'd better get in bed... oh wait. It's 6:45 AM!

RR

Going Someplace

I was at Reagan National Airport recently when a US Air representative (one of those people who announce the flights by the gates) caught my ear, then my eye and then my full attention. Somebody is going to snatch up Bernard before long because he so powerfully exemplifies one of the four attributes of The Uncompromised.

Enthusiasm -it's what moves you, with purpose, to get out of bed in the morning and to engage people and situations in a powerful and positive way. Everybody wants to be around somebody who's alive, enthusiastic.

Boy, did Bernard have enthusiasm! Normally I don't mind having to sit a couple of hours in an airport waiting for my plane; it gives me the opportunity to read and read. But, I couldn't get into my book. Sitting by my gate, I couldn't wait to hear what Bernard would say next -and how he would say it.

I copied a few of his highlights for our mutual pleasure:

Philadelphia 4261 -we are sharing the brotherly love by boarding his flight. Home of the 2008 World Series champions and a whole lot of cheesesteaks... boarding at gate C 31...

US Air flight 8231 to Raleigh is ready to board. Go Heels! Raleigh...where the sky is Tar Heel blue -which is proof that God is a Carolina fan. Now boarding at gate…

Bernard had different material for every city -and each announcement for that city. His enthusiasm showed in his preparation and the energy of his delivery. How many airline representatives go home and practice how they can bring more of themselves to their work? How many of us do?

Bernard's enthusiasm made a difference in the lives of many travelers that night. He seemed to be enjoying himself to.

Fly through Reagan National soon, because Bernard won't be there long.

RR

Do you Have Any Standards (Personal Standards)? Part 2

Values aren't anything special; everybody has values. And more, everybody's values sound wonderful. Nobody has a value called "killer" or "idiot" or "pushover" -that is, nobody has values like these that actually mean what the name insinuates.

People have values like: love, honesty, connection, security, hard work, self-care and the like. But have you ever thought about people like Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin... and their values? Hitler killed 30 million people; Stalin killed 60 million and yet I'd be willing to bet that neither of these men, if you were able to sit down with them and do a values clarification exercise with them, would confess to having values such as: genocide, rape, pillage or S.O.B. No, no, no... their values would sound no different than Mother Teresa's or Gandhi's.

I'd put A LOT of money on the fact that all four of these individuals from the 20th century would have had values that sounded quite similar. I'm sure from Adolf Hitler and Mother Teresa you hear words like "commitment" and "mission" as values. I'm sure Joseph Stalin and Gandhi would speak mutually, yet independently, of their commitment to the values of: "change" and "peace".

How do we reconcile this? Certainly Adolf Hitler was "committed" and on a "mission". So was Mother Teresa. Mohandas Gandhi could very well be the quintessential example of a person who lived the values of "peace" and "change". Joseph Stalin too, worked for "change" and his own version of "peace".

On a much lighter note, but staying on the same theme... I've worked with people who have a value called, "self-care". I've seen people use this value to justify getting a massage, eating cheesecake, eating spinach salad or numbing out with their drug of choice (food, work, porn, drugs or drink). Oh man! I've been one of these people! What does the value "self-care" mean? The answer is, it means whatever we want it to mean, given the right circumstances. This simply can't be good enough.

The above, is just one example of many, where values (which are naturally vague even when there clarified with other words) actually can be used, not to bring people what they really want, but in our moments of weakness, to justify the things we don't want and wouldn't do otherwise. Yikes! Just say no to values.

Go get yourself some Personal Standards!

Soon enough. Stay tuned to Thursday morning's post.

As Always,

Be Good-Don't Compromise

RR

Are You Living a Potemkin Life?

A Potemkin village is phrase based on a historical myth. Though the experts don't completely agree on the truth of it all, the myth goes like this: Russian Minister (and General) Grigory Potyomkin supposedly built fake villages (facades only) along a rail line in order to fool and impress Catherine II -Empress of Russia as she was touring the area, some time around 1787.

Grig's apparent motive was to have Cathy think that he'd conquered some pretty awesome territory and that he was actually a pretty savvy, powerful and all around nifty guy. I wonder how it all worked out.

Well, aren't we guilty of the same thing sometimes? Can't we be guilty of living Potemkin lives where we act one way but our authentic identity (true self) is someone different?

You know, we suffer so much as we try to keep the charade up. You know, we experience so much peace when we accept who we are and let the chips fall where they may.

People are demanding authenticity from everyone and everything these days...Be Uncompromised -demand it from yourself.

RR

Inspired by Insanity

Insanity is a relatively new DVD workout program but it's more.

Look, at our best, we all want to be great, know we're stretching and achieving. In order to do that we need a good plan, we need to get off our soft-sides and we need someone who believes in us deeply -sometimes more than we believe in ourselves.

Shaun T not only puts together an incredible workout program (Insanity) which I'm being both broken and built better by, but he engages me, believes in me and demands more of me. He wants me to mind my form and won't let me compromise what I'm capable of. If this man can pull this off on DVD, I'd like to meet him for real.

Hey, who is your Shaun T? Who is there for you -to both comfort you and expect more from you, for the sake of you being something better?

Man, I can't wait to pop that DVD in today, get my Shaun T hit, then sweat, hurt and believe in me -'cause I survived another challenge, another day.

Grrrr,

RR

When Really Good Isn't Really Good Enough

We've all met, worked with, been employed by or employed people who are good at what they do but have a passion or talent beyond what they are making their life's work.

How do we engage with people who you know are settling? What do you say to the person who you know is compromising and letting a great life slip away because a really good one is happening now?

It's funny to think that the answer to your question will probably speak pretty loudly to your loyalty, commitment and more -your own capacity to settle and compromise -In this case a potentially great and faithful relationship is excused to make room for a a really good or even a merely decent relationship. Too bad.

How do you compromise your relationships? What are you making more important than that person's fulfillment?

RR

The Agony of Compromise

Does Compromise ever feel good?

At the bottom of a dish of ice cream, that you said you wouldn't eat...

When you lay your head down, another night, -having skipped out on doing something you knew you should...

When you say something to someone, just to get to them...

When you bitch about your job then declare that you only have 11 more years...

You have compromised YOU. It's nothing short of betrayal...

It's funny, in the moment, administering the medication of mint chocolate chip to your wounds feels reasonable. Performing busy work to provide a 'reasonable' excuse why you don't have the life you want, seems understandable. Really, in those brief but powerful moments you know your self to be full of it -and with enough of this, and in the end it will be a bitter taste you will live and die with.

Honestly looking at what you are choosing to do with your time, money, energy, body, etc. is the place to start wen you want to live as The Uncompromised. Stop thinking so much and decide what you really, really want. Write it down. Finally, Do Something. Anything...but be in action, learn, adjust the plan and do more.

Don't Compromise. Be Great. Go do something.

RR

Fishing in the Rocks

I don't know whether I was exercising a particular wisdom or just lucky but I caught 3 fish in 45 minutes while the two experienced fishermen caught none in two hours. What do you think?

I was on vacation (and some work) in Myrtle Beach, SC with my family and decided to take my boys (5 and 6 1/2) fishing. Enthusiastically we paid, took our frozen shrimp and our 'gear' to the end of Pier 14 to 'fish'. I honestly didn't intend on catching anything but thought it would just be fun for the boys to try and me to, well, try!

We met a couple of guys in their 50's who'd been fishing for quite some time, as they later -and clearly pointed out. I'd been just casting my line as far out as I could go in any direction when one my line got stuck and of the guys told me there was a long stone wall that went from the beach way out to sea just under the water. The message was clear, 'Don't cast in that direction, you'll lose your lure.'

Well my coaching mind (and contrarian spirit!) was awoken! I thought something like, 'Hey, it's in the rocks, the challenges and seemingly risky/dangerous times where the fruit of life is so often found!' So for the next 45 minutes I cast only toward the rocks.

I did the best I could to keep the bait moving so it wouldn't sink too low and settle in the rocks and get caught -again. Well three fish -and 45 minutes later, I thought this little story was worth sharing.

I fully accept that I'm no fisherman and what happened could have been luck (any fishermen out there?) but then again doesn't life experience tell us that there is a lot more going on in the 'fray' than in the open water?

RR

The Compromised Uncompromiser

I talk a good game. I talk a good game because I've been up to some big stuff. I've done more in my life then I ever thought I could.

...but things got comfy and I've been on cruise control, enjoying a certain degree of success.

I've written about 30,000 words of a book that I've committed to writing yet haven't written in 2+ months -at least not anything substantial. At first I was taking time to clarify my audience, to reread and edit what I'd written. But now it's been almost 3 months and I can't deny that I'm compromised.

My word to myself, in terms of slotted writing times, I've breeched. Agreements to myself to at least capture this concept or that on paper have found a backseat to clearing of junk from my desk (which did need attention). Again and again I've compromised to the point where I now see blatantly that my compromises of my integrity and identity are because I'm scared.

I'm scared to be an author, the speaker for $10k/hr and coach for $50k/yr. I'm scared that I could have the impact and actually get what I say I want, and I have to deal with it.

The principles/standards for which I stand and live to teach don't need to change; I do.

Where have you been dodging your destiny for noble sounding activity?

RR

What?! Another Personal Growth Model?

The reason I came up with this 'model' (I put it in quotes so as to not take it too seriously) was that I needed a way to visually capture my philosophy around both living and leaving a legacy. You can click the link called Uncompromised Achievement (on the right) to read more about the model.

There really aren't new fundamentals or basics or principles for personal and professional (not to mention social) success and happiness. Marketing may present ideas as new, but the truth is, that new colors, a new way to say what people are needing to/wanting to hear...are just a repackaging of what people have known for millennia.

Our job is to hear and rehear these lessons, not to become perpetual students, but to be inspired to apply that which we know more frequently -so that we can better make a difference while we're here. This web site and the entries to follow are my humble effort to grow myself and my readers.

More to come...

RR