Interruption or Opportunity?

Here she comes...the old lady next door wants to talk--you're just trying to do some work in your yard.

Not NOW! A school bus pulls out just ahead of you--now you're stopping every 100 yards for a quarter mile local tour of your neighborhood.

The list could go on of course but it's instructive to think that we call these things interruptions.

Really? What got interrupted?? Your plan? Somewhere along the line we buy into the notion that our plan is the plan and then we become frustrated and less than our best when our plan is interrupted. Silly rabbit...

No. Your plan is your plan and then there are another 7 billion other plans.

At the risk of being all chipper-personal-growthy on you. Your choice is to see reality and accept the unexpected as an opportunity to bring more of what you want into the world or you can deny reality (not a good plan), think you are the center point of time and history, continue to be frustrated by people and their thinking that their plans matter.

I'm just saying...

RR

A Blog About Fajitas?

Is "fajitas" Spanish for "make your own burrito"?

I don't want to make my own burritos. But man I keep ordering fajitas when I go to Mexican places. I can't help it; I like them.

I want steak, fried onions/peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and that nifty sauce. But I don't want to have to do the math required to properly divide up the resources (previously mentioned) so I don't end up starring at an empty hot plate and three soft tortilla shells.

I'm not quite sure what the connection between this touch of inspiration and a personal growth message would be. Let me see what I've got though...

Why don't I simply ask for three steak steak soft tacos with onions, peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and nifty sauce? Why do I keep putting myself in this bind of missing dinner time conversations as I do long division on a sizzling plate that some dude is compelled to tell me is hot?

Hey, I know! I could actually ask for what I want. Why continue to damn myself to do math and the manual labor necessary to properly ration my foodstuffs?

Okay, motion carried. Asking for what I want is a good thing and worth trying. I'll be dining on Mexican Wednesday night and commit to ending the insanity.

Thanks for the therapy.

RR

I'm No Marketing Genius but...

I wrote a blog a week ago and as always was appreciative to see a comment offered by a reader. As I read it though I busted out laughing at the absurdity of the comment that was left. It said simply, "You are welcome to follow my blog." and then offered the link to his site! I'm withholding the name of the misguided.

His comment offered nothing about me, my impact or my content--he saw a space and filled it with him! It reminded me of networking events I used to attend where there would always be the one dude or chick who would run around connecting with nobody but handing out 13,000 business cards. You know the people that listen just long enough to segue into something about themselves?

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not a genius about many numbers of things but I do know that if people aren't comfy with you and don't feel heard and/or respected you might as well save the gas and your time and just put your business cards in the garbage and watch Wheel of Fortune--it'll do just about as much to develop your relationships and subsequent business.

You are welcome to follow me on twitter,

RR

Although It's Been Said Many Times, Many Ways...

Paralysis by analysis.

Just do it.

Do it now.

The early bird catches the worm.

Don't wait for your ship to come in; swim out to get it.

Ow. I get it...stop thinking and do!

Well I was doing P90X today -man you just have to appreciate the good stuff they put out- when Tony Horton nailed it. He went down to bang out some push-ups and said, "This is my speed." Good form but man he was flying...

I followed Tony's lead and did more push-ups than I'd expected and after the set he told me why. He said, "Get out of your head." Yeah!! No kidding. How many times have I (before I'd even started) talked myself out of a higher count and then succeeded at underachieving? No comment!

Tony's physical expression of: stop thinking and get going, is just what the doctor ordered for many of us. Stop thinking so much about balancing the checkbook; stop thinking about making that call and stop thinking about going for that dream. Do something -now!

Thanks, Tony.

RR

How Do You Appeal?

An appeal was made to me recently that I kind of resent. Not only do I not feel honored or inspired by this appeal, I feel frustrated, and as I said... resentment.

I'm really quick to notice what I have to learn both in my own private life and on this blog but today I want to shine the light 'out there'.

The creators/discoverers of NLP Bandler/Grinder said it best when they said that the meaning of any communication is the meaning that is received. That puts the responsibility to communicate effectively directly on the shoulders of the one communicating.

I've noticed appeals from friends, families, strangers, high school kids wanting to sell $10 discount cards, Girl Scouts and their infernal delicious cookies and the bank teller who suddenly is excited about my banking needs as they chipper-ly tell me about their CD rate of - 1.45%.

When you want something, when you have an agenda... what do you do? Do you become someone else?? Do you turn on the charm? Do you manipulate emotions such as guilt or pity? Do you overwhelm with excitement? It's worth noticing.

What strikes me is that if the bank teller was always nice and friendly to me, asking curious question and/or connecting, I'd be much more open to hearing his/her pitch. It seems to me that we'd better engage people with the best in us, not just when we want something.

RR

The Lost Art of Forgiveness

There is a lot to be said about the immense need we as individuals, as well as great cultures and nations, have for true forgiveness. We all have the ability to forgive and let peace be... so what's the problem?

The problem for the one who feels offended, wronged or that something sacred has been somehow transgressed, can be found in a few places. Forgiveness can be hard when:

• You think people are basically idiots.
• You think that your holding a grudge somehow hurts the “offender”.
• You've got a mind/heart for retaliation rather than reconciliation.
• You get attention for being a victim or a martyr.
• You realize that forgiveness can be hard!

The issue facing the offender (the guy or gal that did the wrong-ing) falls into a few categories. It should be self-explanatory why this issue exists, but asking for forgiveness:

• Confirms your guilt.
• Requires humility -sometimes a lot.
• Risks greater loss of community (soiled reputation).
• Means that we have to confront our own shortcomings.

The cultural issue we have, in being able to forgive, comes sometimes from not understanding the above points as well as understanding the process of forgiveness -but just as often from not doing what we do know! If we want to have fantastic relationships with others, and peace with ourselves, it'll serve us all if we do more than consider this process.

As offenders, we need to be quicker to confess/admit and make appropriate restitution for what we've done. Restitution is essentially covering the 'cost' of your error.

If you fail to be there for somebody as promised, restitution might mean that you are extra diligent and go above and beyond in being there for them in the future. If you break somebody's iPod, immediately replace it and offer your help in restoring files etc. The attempt and act of restoration is meaningless without humility in the recognition that you've made a mistake.

As the offended, we need to be quick to forgive and absolute in restoring people. Restoration means that we don't hold a grudge, bring up this error again -and more, we treat people based on who they are at their best. Now that takes humility.

I guess I could have kept this post a lot shorter by saying that the bottom line, in the lost art of forgiveness, is humility.

In Humble Service,

RR

Cranky Guy on the Prarie

I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie -or affectionately, 'Little House'. What a great show it was and is (on DVD) about a good and earnest family, working to make a good life, do good by others and get ahead through honest hard work.

The Ingalls family was made up of a father/husband who was hardworking, honest, a sensitive and a loyal friend. Mom/wife was a diligent, hardworking, industrious, smart, feminine woman. All three children were well-behaved, conscientious, responsible, loving and full of personality.

Ak. I confess that it wasn't until about two years ago that I recognized, why for some time I had been feeling a lingering sense of unhappiness or disappointment. It may sound silly, but it's true, I had some version of the “Little House Ideal" lodged in my brain.

Finding that my own family (to include myself) lacked the industry, piety, humility, discipline and internal fortitude that the Ingalls family displayed so sharply, profoundly and neatly in 60 minutes each week, I found myself constantly disappointed in my situation. Somehow along the line, without me even knowing, I began to chase the elusive horizon of the "Little House Ideal" for what a “good” family meant.

Goals are great! Having an ideal in your mind's eye is a good thing. But we get ourselves in a lot of trouble when we set ourselves up, expecting to reach the ideal. Like the horizon, the ideal is a moving target and just as it is vital in navigating towards something great, it too -to the unconscious goal setter, can cause pain, disappointment and destruction of the very thing you want.

Set great and compelling goals. Heck, even look to the ideal as a source of inspiration, just set your expectations carefully -'cause even if you leave now, you'll never swim and catch the horizon -and you'll definitely drown.

Have a nice day!

RR