A Blog About Fajitas?

Is "fajitas" Spanish for "make your own burrito"?

I don't want to make my own burritos. But man I keep ordering fajitas when I go to Mexican places. I can't help it; I like them.

I want steak, fried onions/peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and that nifty sauce. But I don't want to have to do the math required to properly divide up the resources (previously mentioned) so I don't end up starring at an empty hot plate and three soft tortilla shells.

I'm not quite sure what the connection between this touch of inspiration and a personal growth message would be. Let me see what I've got though...

Why don't I simply ask for three steak steak soft tacos with onions, peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and nifty sauce? Why do I keep putting myself in this bind of missing dinner time conversations as I do long division on a sizzling plate that some dude is compelled to tell me is hot?

Hey, I know! I could actually ask for what I want. Why continue to damn myself to do math and the manual labor necessary to properly ration my foodstuffs?

Okay, motion carried. Asking for what I want is a good thing and worth trying. I'll be dining on Mexican Wednesday night and commit to ending the insanity.

Thanks for the therapy.

RR

Since Your Mind is Democratic...

Majority rules! Say that and most people would shout some version of, "Amen!" or "Of course!"

Would it change your thinking if I told that America isn't a democracy?

Would it change your mind if I told you that James Madison, known as the Father of the Constitution, had this to say about democracy: Hence it is that democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their deaths.

A democracy is two wolves and one sheep deciding what is for dinner. No security, no higher principle and no natural freedom to appeal to in a democracy when 51% can be swayed and bind 100% of the population.

On the other hand, our minds are an awful lot like a democracy in that what we most think about, we become. If you want to change you need increase the volume and enthusiasm of those thoughts that reflect the best of you and your dreams and goals.

Wow, Ron! Interesting and informative!

Thanks,

RR

Finding a Hero Amongst the Living

I like Booker T. Washington, Ben Franklin, Mother Teresa and a slew of other brilliant but long since departed people.

• I work to have Washington's dignity.
• I study and evaluate myself to gain Franklin's sagacity.
• I consistently look to give earnestly and generously so to imitate Mother Teresa's compassion in action.

Someone said to me recently, "You really should have some heroes that are still alive." I was first surprised by the truth of this observation and after I stopped laughing, I asked myself why I don't have any living 'idols'? Well after a couple months of reflection, I have an answer.

Though it doesn't seem really evolved, it was true. I found I was protecting myself from learning that someone I'd admired was really a scoundrel. I didn't want to find that I'd invested any part of myself emotionally in someone who had plenty of time and opportunities left to mess up. I liked the neat and finished product that a dead and revered icon provided.

By unconsciously and exclusively following the dead, I was denying the inspiration that comes in the practice of virtue in the living.

I'm happy to report that I'm appreciating the endurance of Dan Jansen, the perspective of the Dali Lama and the consistency of Ron Paul. I don't have to agree with each person's lifestyle, politics, or anything else. I can admire their application of virtue.

In whom do you see virtue? How will you imitate it today?

Following and Leading,

RR

Feeling Uninspired

You know, one of the things that I really like about the personal growth industry is that there is so much good stuff for helping humanity of varying perspectives. Another thing I like is that it's all geared to making whatever is going on better by:

• helping people recognize and enjoy what they already have.
• helping people to learn to appreciate and find the richness in "now".
• helping people find motivation.

Ironically, one of the things that can be so irritating about the personal growth world is its tendency to...always make things better, happy, inspiring...

You know, sometimes I don't want to be inspired. Sometimes, I'm confused and need to regroup. Sometimes I'm uninspired--and trying to manufacture inspiration over a tumult of other feelings can be a rip-off to experiencing other human emotions. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad. Maybe I'm a bit disappointed or lost...uninspired.

There isn't one of us who occasionally lacks inspiration. It's okay. If the there is truth in my words, let them offer permission to you to not be inspired today.

This too is uncompromised.

RR

Doing Something...

I've come to detest within myself the tendency to talk about, with impotent intention, what I want. I've been saying I want to be fluent in Spanish for 15 years and have heretofore done very little to substantiate my noble sounding professions. I've gotten my "feel good" by telling people and having them say nice things about my capacity and commitment to learn. Talk about compromise...

Enter the Japanese disaster.

After initial sickness over the seemingly never-ending disaster, I felt that same unsettled feeling I got whenever I hyped my desire to speak Spanish. We all get urges. Those who make a difference in their world (personally and globally) do something with what they know and what they know they must do.

There is so much I can't do but what I am doing is a 5k run/walk to benefit the Red Cross' efforts in Japan. What do you know you must you do in your life that you can no longer just talk about?

Doing Something,

RR

Here are the Run for Japan details followed by expectations:

• April 2, 2011
• 10:30 warm up
• 11am start time
• 11:30/12 Lunch -we'll figure something out...maybe pizza on the tall-handsome guy.
• Boxwood Park (Rotterdam) -right off of I-890 and less than 2 minutes from exit 25 of the NYS Thruway
• Goal $50,000. Yes it's an obnoxiously high goal.
• Make checks payable to "American Red Cross" and place the words "Japanese Aid" in the memo section. All funds will be directed to the earthquake and Tsunami relief efforts in Japan and the Pacific. Red Cross will send you a receipt for your tax deductible gift.
• No cash PLEASE!
• If you want to give toward this specific effort for Japan and can't make it--or you have any questions email me at: Ron@RonRenaud.com
• Email if you are coming or can reasonably say that you can vouch for x number of others coming. We need to know how many cinnamon rolls will be needed to soothe the famished runner!

Expectations:

This isn't a fancy organized run. It is a run with kindred spirits for the sake of recognizing our own blessings and good fortune while we give of our relative abundance to those who've lost much.

Be bold-dig deep and give as much as you feel compelled to give, no pressure. Well not too much anyway.

There will be no bibs -you're responsible to know who you are at the start and end of the race! That's a joke...

Sorry, no aid stations along the way but my wife and a few friends will be baking so it'll be worth your while to run back to where you started!

Winners? When you contribute to the betterment of another you win. You are cordially invited to come and win!

This isn't an event sanctioned by any running governing body. It's a 5k route that I've measured out with my car and regularly run with a pal--Scott, if you must know.

Please tell anyone and everyone you know! Let's do something special.

Peace,

RR

How to Come Out of Hiding

My last post talked about people's proclivity to hideout and avoid working too hard, whether consciously or unconsciously, by doing things that look or even feel important but bear little fruit.

I got a couple of requests from readers asking, "How does somebody come out of hiding?"

Coming out of hiding...

Like most things it's more simple than we make it. So let's not get caught up (or hide) in working too hard to say what we already know.

1. Take a look around and notice what you are doing.
2. Get curious and rigorous; is what you are doing now what you want/need to be doing as you consider your goals?
3. Get help. Ask people for their help in discerning what you need to do to get where you're going.
4. Stop messing around. Whether from the help you received or upon your own review, when you know what you know, DO SOMETHING!
5. Be prepared for failure, learning and more and wiser action.
6. Be prepared for success and the need for more activity.
7. Be aware of nifty-sounding reasons to do something that is more about hiding than going after what you want.
8. Keep moving.

Of course this isn't exhaustive and misses the nuances of your situation but the main points shouldn't be missed. Be honest and willing to see truth, learn and do based on what you know.

Hiding is compromise of you at your best. That's not cool.

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

RR

If Only...

If only I had more money...

If only I had more time...

If only I could get a new job...

If only the economy was better...

If only I was appreciated more...

If only I was understood...

If only I was in better shape...

If only things were more simple...

If only I wasn't tired...

If only...

Be Good-Don't Compromise,

RR

The Wrong Lesson

Recently I was witness to someone giving their word to another that they ended up not keeping.

Sometimes the reason for people not following through is legit. Often, is simply isn't.

What is crazy is when the person who failed to do what they said, in an absurd linguistic-judo move, removes the yoke of responsibility from themselves and places the blame on the other!

I was left speechless just a few days ago when the blame was shifted from "Fred" (who didn't keep his word) to "Tom" (the guy who'd been promised then denied something). The lesson being discussed wasn't that Fred needs to keep his word. It was that Tom needs to show more mercy.

I almost fell out of my seat as I watched the offender turn teacher to the offended during the debrief of events. This happens more than we might generally realize. People can shift the blame everywhere but rarely affix it to themselves.

The Uncompromised, on the other hand, are quick to take responsibility. That is part of what makes them different, rare and extraordinary.

Dust and Sweat

Sometimes we fail to do what we’re capable of.

It’s even worse when, deep in the recesses of our minds, we decide that we aren’t really going to work so hard but… we’ll keep up the illusion.

This is where we kick up a lot of dust to make our efforts look convincing and sincere -while we know that we aren’t really doing what we are capable of.

I’ve seen people sweat (literally and figuratively) and actually work harder avoiding work than if they just did the thing they are avoiding. Come on… haven’t you seen that guy who huffs and puffs as if he’s totally maxed-out after not doing anything but notice you watching? This happen in offices, athletics, construction… It actually is kind of funny isn’t it?

The trick is to notice when we’re pulling one over on ourselves. This is compromise and it’s an easy habit to acquire.

Don’t Compromise,

RR

There is a Season...

Can you harvest what you didn't plant?

What will you maintain that you haven't first planted?

Can you rest from slumber?

What will you be doing during planting season?

There's a season you are in in your life right now. What is it?

Is it time to rest -yet you continue to pursue?

Is it time to plant but you 'deserve' a bit more R&R?

Is it time to harvest but you don't?

Is it time to maintain what you've already done but you're in a hurry?

Respect the season. In the northern hemisphere it is time to harvest... not rest.

What season is it for you?

In Spring,

RR

It's a Grand Scam!

Everybody like a good baseball analogy. Ahem! I said, EVERYBODY likes a good baseball analogy.

Sometimes when I'm coaching I'll hear my clients say something that we both know isn't true or is some goofy or downright destructive thing they're considering that it keeps them from living like The Uncompromised. That goofy crap I call their 'scam'.

After we identify their scam a bit more clearly I'll suggest they add it to their ESPN highlight reel of cool moves they use to keep them where they are. From time to time, there is something uttered or something avoided that is so obvious, so ridiculous and unfortunately so destructive it is worthy of labeling a Grand Scam!

Mine used to be: I'm too young. Completely debilitating to be 29 years old and too young for... well anything I wanted to do. By the way, I had that until the day I figured that my scam was killing me and that in time I'd simply switch to, I'm too old.

Oh, I've had more and still have some...

What is your Grand Scam that aint nobody cheering for? ...at least not anybody you'd be proud to bring home to your mother.

RR

4:30 AM

I never regret when I get up at 4:30 AM. In my house, it guarantees me two solid hours in total silence.

Benjamin Franklin said 10 or 20 years ago (plus or minus 250), "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man (women too) healthy, wealthy and wise." I'm down with that plan.

I know there are those who get that quiet time at night (I just don't get it) but regardless of when... get you some. If you are up to anything worthwhile -and this might be a test, you need that alone, quiet, writing, reflecting and/or creative time.

I'd fallen off the wagon recently as I started staying up later so I could do more over the course of a couple days. Well that turning into several days makes morning wake up later and later. Suddenly I'm working, not at my best (4:30-6:30 AM), but just 'doing more busy stuff' between 9 and 11. Not productive. Compromised. Fatigue... ug.

Sometimes it's hard to remember what you are investing in before you get the payoff. For me, getting to bed with a book at 9:30 preferably, and 10 for sure, guarantees a happy boy in the morning.

Oye! I'll let you know how I did this week on Thursday!

17 days until my book is due to the editor! I'd better get in bed... oh wait. It's 6:45 AM!

RR

Short-sighted!

I've been there before, pal...

At my son's (6 year old) soccer practice yesterday the coach had the kids run all the way down the field and back. A few kids fell behind a bit -anint gonna be a 17-way tie, right?

The father of one of the stragglers started yelling for his kid to hustle. Fine. I get it; listen to your coach. But suddenly I see the father switch from wanting his boy to hustle to irritation that the boy wasn't listening to him or the coach.

The little guy ran over to his dad crying and his dad just kept saying, "No, no... listen to your coach. Get out there." Now it's a tug of war. Dad, determined that he'll be listened to and son with his initial discontent now coupled with anxiety that his dad was forcing him away, as tears fell. Dad ended up pushing him back on the field as he was crying -red face, tears rolling and quite audibly.

I've been here. It's not pretty. Ever lose sight of why you are doing something?

RR

Sabotage!

Oh man, ever catch yourself doing something you know you shouldn't or saying something you know better than utter? It's strange in that moment as your reality almost splits in two. You are there in the situation, physically as that pause button goes on and you begin a dialog inside your head!

It's really strange in those times of conscious compromise when you start becoming lawyer-man or lawyer-woman, using all kinds of verbal gymnastics to avoid the truth of a situation and sabotage something better. We renegotiate that which we'd already determined and are literally arguing on the side of sloth, laziness, procrastination, blame, fear, apathy...

Craziness! But that voice that has you eat another piece of cake or go to bed beyond the time you'd already determined is a real and really seductive 'voice'.

What is the antidote, Mr. Renaud? Well, take a look at the four Universal Standards of The Uncompromised philosophy. Consider Enthusiasm, Courage, Endurance and Integrity. Which US has been eroded sufficiently in your life that you are now considering acceptable the negotiation of your agreements to yourself?

I know for me (because of that %&*# app, Angry Birds) last night I stayed awake 25 minutes later than I wanted. 25 minutes might seems like no big deal but... the 25 minutes isn't the point (thought it is a breach of my word). The point is that in those 25 minutes I said to myself, "No matter what, this is my last game"... 15 times! Each time I said, "Oh well..." and played again.

Ug! It is a slippery slope when renegotiation becomes easy because compromise starts small, we get cozy with it and it becomes easy with the bigger things as well.

What are the little ways that you've compromised?

What is Courage?

Courage is doing what 'must be' done. What is courage? Courage is:

1. saying no to another drink.
2. exercising when you don't want to.
3. remaining quiet.
4. speaking up!
5. saying, "I love you".
6. departing when you know something isn't right.
7. speaking up when something is wrong.
8. forgiving.
9. seeing yourself in the humblest of society.
10. acknowledging the greatness within ourselves.
11. sacrificing for another.
12. holding on another moment.
13. keeping your word even when no one would know if you didn't.
14. doing the hard thing.
15. doing what is easy to put off doing.
16. saying what you believe
17. being humble
18. reading a book who's author you don't expect to agree with.
19. smiling anyway.
20. asking for help.

What is courage? Look to The Uncompromised.

RR

What is Integrity?

Madame Dictionary says integrity is: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I get that. I think we all think of integrity this way.

Even better though is the second definition: the state of being whole and undivided. Yes!

When we breach our integrity, we undermine who we are at our best -which is who we really are, and we establish ourselves as something else. When we compromise our word/integrity we create a division between our world and who we are. That means our happiness and effectiveness.

Once divided, we are more apt to say and do things that don't reflect who we really are. At best unnecessary struggle begins, and at worst, the race to the bottom begins.

However, as we stand firm and live consistent with what we say we say is important to us, not only do we enjoy the results of being men and women of our words, but we grow in our dedication to being that man or woman. That dedication equals strength and motivation to keep making good decisions.

You are successful and fulfilled to the degree that you'll live out your integrity. Better know what you stand for then, huh?

RR

Enthusiasm's Revenge

I wrote recently about a neck injury I suffered -and still am dealing with. I'd been working out and getting in the best shape of my life, when I suddenly had to stop.

For the first couple of days I found myself enjoying the much-needed rest both my mind and body wanted and needed. During the next few days I lamented that the program I was on would have to be abandoned for a time. As I now head deep into the second week of my inability to do that work out, my enthusiasm for exercise has waned yet my appetite or rather my desire to eat has increased. Sort of an, "If I can't workout, I'll find pleasure here then!" deal.

A couple days ago, I realized I was in a downward slide. I leveled with myself and got that if I didn't change my attitude and my eating -and exercise lightly the few muscles I could, this short-term injury might have a serious impact on not only my exercise routine but worse, cause me to lose enthusiasm in general.

Though I confess I feel a bit lame (literally and figuratively), I 'm not going to let this injury take me out and make me change how I want to do things. If enthusiasm is one of the distinguishing traits, Universal Standards, of The Uncompromised... then I have to have it!

I'm not going to feel bad about myself just because I'm not as strong as I want to be. My life is about bigger things.

What I'm aware of right now, is that enthusiasm is a choice and it doesn't end with one decision...

RR

Spasm, Sampling or Endurance

Endurance is discipline or committed, consistent action toward a consciously set goal. It is a sustainable way of living.

Spasms of effort and activity are the mark of those who want... but not enough to change their habits (thinking and doing). These folks are always kicking up a lot of dust but seldom get anywhere.

Sampling is the lifestyle of the optimist who believes in change and possibility but flirts -and too often goes home with laziness.

What does it take to live like The Uncompromised? It's a four-step process: Get clear about what you want, have endurance in your efforts, enjoy the results and repeat.

RR

PS Ha... Just before I clicked "Publish Post" I realize this is nothing more than the lesson we learned in reading "The Tortoise and the Hare".

Retreat From Endurance?

Nooooo!

Man, I'm so pumped up about this workout I'm doing! I'm getting in the best shape of my life and... my neck is spazing-out!

It is a 60 day program, yes I'm in the 'recovery' week but, ahhh, I've missed two days. I'll probably miss 3 more -which places me (hopefully ready) on Monday with more intense workouts -and fingers crossed.

Endurance, one of The Universal Standard of The Uncompromised, is not about sampling, but about discipline, consistency, determined/focused effort and sustainability. Oh... Hmmmmm, sustainability.

I remember hearing someone say that, "It's easy to be hard and hard to be smart." Isn't that the truth?! Actually I think I was was being 'hard' last week when my neck was feeling a bit tight and slightly spasmodic; I just kept working out, determined not to quit. So instead of voluntarily, and wisely opting out, I got taken out!

Just like too many people take themselves out of the game by not being disciplined or working hard, others like me can get blinded by their own resolve and lose the very thing they are after.

Here I am, icing and even taking muscle relaxers (I almost never take any pill), contemplating how hard sometimes it is to be smart, what the cost of being 'hard' is -and learning a vital nuance of true Endurance: sustainability.

On Ice,

RR

I'm OK With Contracts Now...mostly

For years I've been averse to signing certain contracts. Why? Because my word/your word is all we should need. If your word or my word doesn't mean anything, what does a lousy signature mean?

More recently, I've had to sign some contracts with corporations. Man, they are fussy! But I get it and think I'm willing to consider the 'dark side'. Yes, contracts can be so frustrating and cumbersome -and yes, I understand that contracts are used to cover and protect people legally. There is something more elementary to a contract -and vital to those who sign off.

Contracts spell out very clearly what everyone is agreeing to. So, should anyone become confused, or compelled to forget what they gave their word to, here is the agreement spelled out and signed off by the ones who guarantee the contract fulfillment.

I like it. And though I'd never considered it before, creating a compelling vision and setting goals is worthy of our careful attention, “formal” documentation and signature.

I'm all about clarity -clarity of plan, clarity of action and clarity when we are either following through or in some fashion denying what we said we would do. Now I'm wondering, what would the impact be in your or my life if we:

- clearly wrote down our intentions

- clearly identified specific goals and dates for their achievement

- clearly identified the results of breach of contract

- clearly identified the rewards for the contract fulfillment

- signed this contract in the presence of a couple of witnesses (these witnesses could be accountability buddies or your coach)

I've never done this with myself or clients, but I wonder… I wonder how much more we could achieve in our personal and professional lives if we took our goals this seriously?

RR