People are Broken or Amazing. You Choose.

I think people are amazing and capable of remarkable things.

What do you think?

I think people are limited only by their imaginations.

What do you think?

I think people can do just about anything they decide to do.

What do you think?

———————–

If you think people are broken, then you won’t expect them to do amazing things.

Whatever they do–it won’t be enough.

If you think people are broken, you won’t attempt to feed their imaginations with hope and possibility.

You’re teaching them to live your limitations.

If you think people are broken, you’ll not expect them to do anything much.

So you’ll just wait for them to disappoint (again).

Reality Zone:

• People will disappoint you.
• People will forget to dream or give-up on dreaming.
• People will make foolish decisions.

It’s how we see and engage them in the face of these realities that matters. Because as we each know, all too well, we can only control ourselves. But it’s in our ability to control ourselves that we can not only change our own lives, but inspire change in others as well! The Uncompromised in our world speak to the best in people (king/queen) and as a result bring out the best in those they touch.

Be Good – Don’t Compromise,

RR

The Danger of Tribes

"Tribes" is one of the new words that everyone from marketers to social activists are using. Let's not get all giddy about fitting into a tribe, being a tribe and being lead by a charismatic or insightful creator of a tribe without pausing to think. (Whether that tribe is called a group, committee, team, family, race, religion, psychographic...)

We can't avoid the fact that there are tribes all around us any more than we can avoid our own membership in multiple tribes. We can avoid ignorance in how we engage others inside and outside our tribes if we'll open our eyes to both sides of tribes.

There are pros to tribes. What are some?

• You are with people who think like you
• You are immersed in traditions, thinking, culture and lessons of those who've "been there".
• You get to leverage the ideas and efforts of people on the same page
• You can make a big difference in your community and outside of it
• "Positive peer pressure" from those who know you

Oh, there are many more, I know.

But we'd be fooling ourselves if we didn't pay attention to the other side. The cons of tribes or of the tribe mentality are:

• Arrogance that we get it while they don't
• The mentality that the ends justifies the means
• Individual personalities, needs and aspirations get lost
• Identities (of individuals) are warped as is the menu of possible actions in life based on the identity of the tribe rule the day
• People shut their minds off and let the leader do their thinking

Of course there are more here on the con side as well.

The point, though, isn't that tribes are bad. The point is to think. The point is to consciously choose which tribes you belong to and to be aware of the tribes you belong to without your choice (color, heritage...). The point is to be aware of the great benefits and the wonderful possibilities from casual or engaged membership in a tribe as well as the dangers and the pity seemingly inherent in tribes.

MLK Jr. said it all when he spoke of the day when people are judged by the content of their character rather than...(any tribe that separates, divides and sets one against another). Be Good. Be part of that tribe--those committed to being good and doing great in humility.

Be Good - Do Great,

RR

Finding a Hero Amongst the Living

I like Booker T. Washington, Ben Franklin, Mother Teresa and a slew of other brilliant but long since departed people.

• I work to have Washington's dignity.
• I study and evaluate myself to gain Franklin's sagacity.
• I consistently look to give earnestly and generously so to imitate Mother Teresa's compassion in action.

Someone said to me recently, "You really should have some heroes that are still alive." I was first surprised by the truth of this observation and after I stopped laughing, I asked myself why I don't have any living 'idols'? Well after a couple months of reflection, I have an answer.

Though it doesn't seem really evolved, it was true. I found I was protecting myself from learning that someone I'd admired was really a scoundrel. I didn't want to find that I'd invested any part of myself emotionally in someone who had plenty of time and opportunities left to mess up. I liked the neat and finished product that a dead and revered icon provided.

By unconsciously and exclusively following the dead, I was denying the inspiration that comes in the practice of virtue in the living.

I'm happy to report that I'm appreciating the endurance of Dan Jansen, the perspective of the Dali Lama and the consistency of Ron Paul. I don't have to agree with each person's lifestyle, politics, or anything else. I can admire their application of virtue.

In whom do you see virtue? How will you imitate it today?

Following and Leading,

RR

Patience and Polishing

I used to be a mason. I laid brick and stone; I plastered and poured concrete. It was messy, hard and sometimes downright painful work.

I remember though, that there would be occasions where I'd come 'out of the field' (off a job site) and into the workshop to do some more, fine work. One of the things I did occasionally was polish a stone countertop or the like.

Without giving a lesson on stone polishing, let me say this: It was fun, dignifying and very difficult in a different way. Working on yourself is like polishing a piece of stone.

The essence of polishing a piece of stone is that you have to use ever-decreasingly abrasive materials while increasing the speed of application so you can smooth and reveal the true color and shine in a stone -its identity of sorts.

Being the craftsman selected felt great but following through on the expectation of the finished product demanded dedication to a very high standard of quality and consistency not to mention the strength and persistence to carry out the task.

Isn't that like life?

Here you are the craftsman or craftswoman. Will you hold a high standard and patiently exert your strength and will to reveal your identity -the best of who you are?

Affectionately Bonded,

RR

Hard-won Respect

I remember hearing Dr. Laura (radio and TV commentator) grousing about the fact that we give so much praise to the kids who were on drugs and then stop, while we tend to not praise or celebrate those kids who never start doing drugs. I get what she said!

She's got a point for sure. We tend to celebrate the recovery of one lost sheep (as in the bible story) while just assuming that the other 99 should be good. It's easy to give the squeaky wheel grease and miss the good work and lives of the '99'.

We've all got 'the 99' in our lives -those who tow the line, who do the right thing, who are just trying to be and do the right thing. I'm going to take a look around me today and tell some of those people how much I appreciate them -who I know them to be. Why should I wait? How much longer until they've earned my words of appreciation?

Today's the day!

RR

Keep Moving

Nothing good, great or revolutionary ever came without some degree of struggle. It's the person who won't stop moving and pressing that enjoys success.

'Not stopping' doesn't mean 'not resting', but in the words of Jim Rohn, "...rest very little". Too much rest grants you fatigue, frustration and apathy.

As you keep moving... will you cry, crank or be confused? You bet. This is your training ground. This is the chasm that separates the hoi-polloi from The Uncompromised.

As you cross over and begin to see your 'promised land' you'll be glad you pressed through.

Be Good - Do Great,

RR

It's a Grand Scam!

Everybody like a good baseball analogy. Ahem! I said, EVERYBODY likes a good baseball analogy.

Sometimes when I'm coaching I'll hear my clients say something that we both know isn't true or is some goofy or downright destructive thing they're considering that it keeps them from living like The Uncompromised. That goofy crap I call their 'scam'.

After we identify their scam a bit more clearly I'll suggest they add it to their ESPN highlight reel of cool moves they use to keep them where they are. From time to time, there is something uttered or something avoided that is so obvious, so ridiculous and unfortunately so destructive it is worthy of labeling a Grand Scam!

Mine used to be: I'm too young. Completely debilitating to be 29 years old and too young for... well anything I wanted to do. By the way, I had that until the day I figured that my scam was killing me and that in time I'd simply switch to, I'm too old.

Oh, I've had more and still have some...

What is your Grand Scam that aint nobody cheering for? ...at least not anybody you'd be proud to bring home to your mother.

RR

Why Now?!

So I'm writing this book. Things are coming together but man there is still a lot left to write, organize and link together.

Inspiration was supposed to visit this morning at 4:30 not 8:30 last night when I was trying to crash. Of course it was well after 9 by the time I went to bed but I was able to capture my inspiration -and that is what matters.

I just wish inspiration would keep better hours.

RR

Why Create??

Aint nothin' new gonna be said. Every note that there ever will be has been played, every color one could hope to put on canvas (or base of your choice) has been put there.

Books have been written, speeches given and songs composed. Basically it's the same stuff with a new marketing twist.

I used to think, "Man, the Beatles did Abbey Road, how could it get better... why would people bother trying to be better than that!?" Depending on your preference, the Bible, Torah or Koran, Tao de Ching, etc. have been written. What other wisdom is there. There aren't gonna be any new fundamentals...

The truth is not everyone likes The Beatles, and even though whatever you do has probably been done many times over, what the world needs is you, now.

Your way of speaking, your combination of colors, your unique perspective, your notes, spaces, chords and tempo, texture... we need you!

No wanna-be reheated version of Tony Robbins, John Lennon, Poe, or even Raphael will get the job done. What the world needs is you -stripped of the unessential nonsense yet out loud and inspired.

The faithful expression of your true identity is what will give you peace now, inspire others... and if you create for a living, we all do... it's what will sell.

Be Good-Do Great,

RR

Booker T -An Example of Endurance

There is a lot to be said about the virtues and life of Booker T. Washington (BTW). I'll take the time to share just a little of why he's a hero of mine.

He was born into slavery and became one of the most famous and influential people of his generation. Like the expression goes: The team at the top of the mountain didn't fall there, BTW didn't fall into great fame, influence or an enduring legacy of note.

Up From Slavery is Washington's autobiography which is well worth reading and reflecting upon. It's an enormously compelling story of ignorance, laziness and potential hatred turned wisdom, industry and benevolence.

Though there is almost no good place to start except the beginning, in regards to getting the real impact of BTW's story, let me give you the skinny on what kind of man he was.

After completely changing his life and becoming a teacher himself, he was recommended -even though not white, as a man capable of beginning, heading and providing for a new school in rural Alabama. Long story short -there was no school, there was no financing, there were some good people in his corner but that and an old chicken coop got him a few eggs and not much else.

He created an environment at this 'university' where rigor of learning and dignity in labor reigned. Leading an institution remotely in those days (which was difficult at best) Washington was also obligated to constantly be doing speeches in an attempt to sell people (potential donors) on the virtue of investing in the cause of a people and merit of his ideas for them.

The needs seemingly never ended and so Washington literally spent years walking all over the country from town to town giving speeches to hundreds and to nearly empty rooms. Day after day and night after night and year after year he put himself in places where he could influence change in the hearts and minds of two races.

Sometimes treated like royalty but often treated worse than a criminal, Washington carried on for decades changing society and lifting up a people through his example and extraordinary efforts, until his passing.

The Uncompromised Washington's life is an example of what is possible when we don't get caught up in dabbling, quibbling or too much rest. A life of endurance, awesome service to others, fulfillment in doing what he felt called to do -his legacy is secure.

Rest in peace, Mr. Washington.

RR

What is Integrity?

Madame Dictionary says integrity is: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I get that. I think we all think of integrity this way.

Even better though is the second definition: the state of being whole and undivided. Yes!

When we breach our integrity, we undermine who we are at our best -which is who we really are, and we establish ourselves as something else. When we compromise our word/integrity we create a division between our world and who we are. That means our happiness and effectiveness.

Once divided, we are more apt to say and do things that don't reflect who we really are. At best unnecessary struggle begins, and at worst, the race to the bottom begins.

However, as we stand firm and live consistent with what we say we say is important to us, not only do we enjoy the results of being men and women of our words, but we grow in our dedication to being that man or woman. That dedication equals strength and motivation to keep making good decisions.

You are successful and fulfilled to the degree that you'll live out your integrity. Better know what you stand for then, huh?

RR

The Lost Art of Forgiveness

There is a lot to be said about the immense need we as individuals, as well as great cultures and nations, have for true forgiveness. We all have the ability to forgive and let peace be... so what's the problem?

The problem for the one who feels offended, wronged or that something sacred has been somehow transgressed, can be found in a few places. Forgiveness can be hard when:

• You think people are basically idiots.
• You think that your holding a grudge somehow hurts the “offender”.
• You've got a mind/heart for retaliation rather than reconciliation.
• You get attention for being a victim or a martyr.
• You realize that forgiveness can be hard!

The issue facing the offender (the guy or gal that did the wrong-ing) falls into a few categories. It should be self-explanatory why this issue exists, but asking for forgiveness:

• Confirms your guilt.
• Requires humility -sometimes a lot.
• Risks greater loss of community (soiled reputation).
• Means that we have to confront our own shortcomings.

The cultural issue we have, in being able to forgive, comes sometimes from not understanding the above points as well as understanding the process of forgiveness -but just as often from not doing what we do know! If we want to have fantastic relationships with others, and peace with ourselves, it'll serve us all if we do more than consider this process.

As offenders, we need to be quicker to confess/admit and make appropriate restitution for what we've done. Restitution is essentially covering the 'cost' of your error.

If you fail to be there for somebody as promised, restitution might mean that you are extra diligent and go above and beyond in being there for them in the future. If you break somebody's iPod, immediately replace it and offer your help in restoring files etc. The attempt and act of restoration is meaningless without humility in the recognition that you've made a mistake.

As the offended, we need to be quick to forgive and absolute in restoring people. Restoration means that we don't hold a grudge, bring up this error again -and more, we treat people based on who they are at their best. Now that takes humility.

I guess I could have kept this post a lot shorter by saying that the bottom line, in the lost art of forgiveness, is humility.

In Humble Service,

RR

I'm OK With Contracts Now...mostly

For years I've been averse to signing certain contracts. Why? Because my word/your word is all we should need. If your word or my word doesn't mean anything, what does a lousy signature mean?

More recently, I've had to sign some contracts with corporations. Man, they are fussy! But I get it and think I'm willing to consider the 'dark side'. Yes, contracts can be so frustrating and cumbersome -and yes, I understand that contracts are used to cover and protect people legally. There is something more elementary to a contract -and vital to those who sign off.

Contracts spell out very clearly what everyone is agreeing to. So, should anyone become confused, or compelled to forget what they gave their word to, here is the agreement spelled out and signed off by the ones who guarantee the contract fulfillment.

I like it. And though I'd never considered it before, creating a compelling vision and setting goals is worthy of our careful attention, “formal” documentation and signature.

I'm all about clarity -clarity of plan, clarity of action and clarity when we are either following through or in some fashion denying what we said we would do. Now I'm wondering, what would the impact be in your or my life if we:

- clearly wrote down our intentions

- clearly identified specific goals and dates for their achievement

- clearly identified the results of breach of contract

- clearly identified the rewards for the contract fulfillment

- signed this contract in the presence of a couple of witnesses (these witnesses could be accountability buddies or your coach)

I've never done this with myself or clients, but I wonder… I wonder how much more we could achieve in our personal and professional lives if we took our goals this seriously?

RR

Serious About Happiness

I have come to realize, that in every interaction I have with my clients, I am either underwriting their excellence or their mediocrity. That's quite a responsibility. So, when I'm taking my job seriously, I'm better able to help people live out what brings them happiness.

Know what? We all have the same responsibility. With everyone we engage in conversation or a passing glance, we are creating something. What is that something we want to create?

I've gotta believe, that if I can choose to be me at my best -while being convinced that you too are great, life changes -for both of us.

This is easier said than done, of course. But I wonder will be possible when we all get a little bit more serious about happiness.

RR

Going Someplace

I was at Reagan National Airport recently when a US Air representative (one of those people who announce the flights by the gates) caught my ear, then my eye and then my full attention. Somebody is going to snatch up Bernard before long because he so powerfully exemplifies one of the four attributes of The Uncompromised.

Enthusiasm -it's what moves you, with purpose, to get out of bed in the morning and to engage people and situations in a powerful and positive way. Everybody wants to be around somebody who's alive, enthusiastic.

Boy, did Bernard have enthusiasm! Normally I don't mind having to sit a couple of hours in an airport waiting for my plane; it gives me the opportunity to read and read. But, I couldn't get into my book. Sitting by my gate, I couldn't wait to hear what Bernard would say next -and how he would say it.

I copied a few of his highlights for our mutual pleasure:

Philadelphia 4261 -we are sharing the brotherly love by boarding his flight. Home of the 2008 World Series champions and a whole lot of cheesesteaks... boarding at gate C 31...

US Air flight 8231 to Raleigh is ready to board. Go Heels! Raleigh...where the sky is Tar Heel blue -which is proof that God is a Carolina fan. Now boarding at gate…

Bernard had different material for every city -and each announcement for that city. His enthusiasm showed in his preparation and the energy of his delivery. How many airline representatives go home and practice how they can bring more of themselves to their work? How many of us do?

Bernard's enthusiasm made a difference in the lives of many travelers that night. He seemed to be enjoying himself to.

Fly through Reagan National soon, because Bernard won't be there long.

RR

Do you Have Any Standards (Personal Standards)? Part 3

So what are Personal Standards (PS)?

Just a couple more things; I promise we'll get there...

Everyone wonders from time to time, with greater and lesser urgency, who they really are and what they're here to do. We're talking about identity and purpose. For life to have real meaning, people want to know who they are at their best -and what their life's work is. Who are you...really? What are you here to do?

Those are important questions to consider -and chances are if you're reading this book, you're the kind of person who is already thinking about them. You see, these are important questions to be considering, because the rigor in which you consider, meditate on, pray about and take action around these questions will dictate your clarity and ability to powerfully live them out.

By the way, how you live out your identity and purpose is your legacy. If you want to leave a meaningful legacy, you have to live a meaningful legacy. If you're going to live your legacy today, you'd better get really clear about who you are and what you stand for. That is what Personal Standards are all about.

A couple more foundational things to consider:

I believe what we typically call purpose is best broken up into two categories: First, your bigger purpose, what you were placed on this planet to do -this is your commission (your 'original instruction' as a Native American client of mine calls it) . Your basic purpose is what you do; it's your roles. ...and this, my friend, is where the action is at! So, for example whether you are a father, a sister, a husband or wife, a steel worker, a philanthropist, a professional athlete, a caretaker or whatever... Your purpose is to do what you do. Now, how well you do it-in other words, how faithful you are as you execute your various roles will not only dictate the quality of your legacy today, but it will chart the course for either clear sailing or a very bumpy ride as you consider and look to live out your commission. The moral of this story is: be good and faithful at what you do; integrity with how you live out your purposes (roles) creates its own rewards. The rest of the story is that clarity and conviction and experiencing your commission will follow.

I believe who you are, your identity, is who you are your best. Yep, people can be idiots and thoughtless, etc. But I can't get behind the notion that people are inherently damaged goods. In taking this stance I'm not saying that people shouldn't be held to account for their activities. On the contrary; I believe in people so much and I believe that they're capable of so much, that rigorous accountability, to a very high standard, is the natural response. So who you are at your best, is who you are -your identity.

Personal Standards are individually designed, specific compound declarations of your identity and purpose. What I've heard again and again for my clients, as they've taken the time to consider and live out their PS, is that first you work them (work to clarify them and speak them daily) and then they work you (revealing and changing you). Cool.

Okay! Next post I'll teach you how to create powerful, life-changing Personal Standards.

Over and out...

RR

Are You Living a Potemkin Life?

A Potemkin village is phrase based on a historical myth. Though the experts don't completely agree on the truth of it all, the myth goes like this: Russian Minister (and General) Grigory Potyomkin supposedly built fake villages (facades only) along a rail line in order to fool and impress Catherine II -Empress of Russia as she was touring the area, some time around 1787.

Grig's apparent motive was to have Cathy think that he'd conquered some pretty awesome territory and that he was actually a pretty savvy, powerful and all around nifty guy. I wonder how it all worked out.

Well, aren't we guilty of the same thing sometimes? Can't we be guilty of living Potemkin lives where we act one way but our authentic identity (true self) is someone different?

You know, we suffer so much as we try to keep the charade up. You know, we experience so much peace when we accept who we are and let the chips fall where they may.

People are demanding authenticity from everyone and everything these days...Be Uncompromised -demand it from yourself.

RR