Gone Fishin'

I'm off this week!

Peace and Kick it Hard in 2011,

RR

Play Hard - Play Hard

I know there are some people who are really dedicated to their health. In fact, Jack Lalanne is the man. Check this out. I heard him interviewed about 5 years ago and he said that he'd not had ice cream in something like 30 years! Whoa...

I, on the other hand, have come to really enjoy and appreciate the benefits of exercise so I play hard but... come holiday time there's lobster, cheesecake, peanut butter Snickers cookies and... oh, I play hard some more.

Maybe it's compromise. I just don't think so.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year!

Be Good - Don't Compromise in 2011!

RR

A Guy Who Gets It

I was out on my bike yesterday (20 degrees) running my dog. I'd not taken her for a walk in a few days, and though I didn't have time, I figured (as I'd done before) I could let her jog while I rode alongside her. That way I'd cut my time in half.

I passed a retired guy down the street (Mr. C) as he was bringing his garbage can out -we exchanged quick pleasantries as I rode by. As I continued my effort to tire my dog out I realized that she'd gotten the workout she needed so I turned around and began to head home.

With great haste, Mr. C was now backing out of his driveway in his silver minivan. So Daisy and I stopped and waited on the other side of the road. I knew that he was looking for cars and that he hadn't seen me.

I saw him look in his mirror as he went to pull away. The car stopped immediately. Mortified that he'd not seen me -out of the car with the humblest of looks and apologies he came.

THAT'S IT! He got it. If I wasn't paying attention, in his carelessness, he'd have run my dog and me both over. That's a serious matter and he acknowledged it with his actions.

How many people would have stuck their arm out the window or just rolled down the window and said, "I'm sorry"? Either of those would have been just lazy thinking and a denial of the gravity of reality.

Reality is our friend. Humility is a sign of strength and awareness of reality.

Mr. C thought, understood what could have happened in his carelessness yet his humble recovery, taught me more than he would have had he just backed out more carefully. Oh, to be so humble...

RR

If Only...

If only I had more money...

If only I had more time...

If only I could get a new job...

If only the economy was better...

If only I was appreciated more...

If only I was understood...

If only I was in better shape...

If only things were more simple...

If only I wasn't tired...

If only...

Be Good-Don't Compromise,

RR

The Real Deal

A buddy of mine who was giving a homeless guy money, company, conversation and hope for several months revealed the depth of his integrity one night. His story is worth recalling.

In brief, my pal was avoiding a church service where he'd have to wash the feet of those around him -like Jesus did. He "was not going to touch anyone's feet!"

Not at church but out in his car, he recognize the homeless guy he'd been helping. The guy was high as a kite and covered in his own excrement. My friend bought a couple of news papers to put in his new Audi, sat the homeless guy in his car and brought him home.

My friend ended up cleaning this man (way more than feet!), letting him stay in his house for almost a year as he detoxed, attended programs and got himself back on his feet.

Everyone talks integrity. Many couldn't imagine this level of commitment and few follow through on living a legacy like this.

The Uncompromised, the real deal -whatever! I want it! You?

RR

Evolution...

I went on a four-day business trip recently.

Bag? Check.

Shaving stuff? Check.

Books for reading? Check.

Passport? Check.

Finally I put my high-powered laptop in my briefcase and headed for the door.

What do I need a briefcase for anymore? I started going through what I had in there that was important. Books to read, pens, letterhead and envelopes...

With the compact offices we carry around in our computers, what in the world is a briefcase for?

Wow, no more briefcase. Cool.

RR

PS Is it lame to ask what you are carrying around (literally or figuratively) that you actually don't need anymore?

97% Authentic

I write another blog (http://bit.ly/hTo2Mb) for Albany, NY's big newspaper, The Times Union. Until recently I wasn't writing like I write (like I talk) -and I knew it!

Why?? Well, it is Albany's biggest paper!

After I was asked to write, at first I was flattered.

Then I became a bit arrogant -because of course, I was asked to write the Success Blog.

Then I was knocked down a peg or two when I realized that I'd be one of four "Success Bloggers".

After that I realized that I had to do my best writing--to be seen. Here is where, as they say 'the fly [went] in the ointment'. (By the way, that's a bad thing -flies in ointment.) I wasn't defining my best writing as putting out correct, educational, entertaining writing in an AUTHENTIC way.

I was trying to impress Aunt Fran, the educated people of Albany and the insecure side of myself. In retrospect I get that I was writing in a way that I hoped would make me feel successful! Ironic, no? Meanwhile, my work stunk!

Be the genuine you as opposed to the counterfeit you.

Be Good - Do Great

RR

PS I took and then posted this picture of me because when I started coaching I was pretty convinced that I had to be Tony Robbins (pretty authentic of me) to be successful. I'd walk and talk and pose like him -with a sort of "I am so wildly friggin' successful, but man I'm humble. How can I help you?" look. Authentic to him perhaps -for me...ah no!

Lookin' Good By Acting Aloof?

I watched a performance yesterday (it was a dress rehearsal) where two performers arrived late. Their colleagues were already there, practicing (dancing/singing), despite their absence.

As the two walked in, I sort of imagined them humbly mouthing the words "I'm sorry" or something like that -then briskly moving to get on stage to join their colleagues already engaged in their routine.

Nope.

They rolled their eyes at the director's comment that it was about time. They further denied the director and fellow performers as they leisurely de-frocked, got on stage and nonchalantly went through the motions of the performance.

Hey! Humble up! Apologize! Get engaged at 100% and move on!

Your being cool is not only irritating, but it impacts everybody around you. In the meantime you've exchanged lookin' good for something more fulfilling that's gotten only by giving yourself completely to what you do.

Thank You,

RR

The Wrong Lesson

Recently I was witness to someone giving their word to another that they ended up not keeping.

Sometimes the reason for people not following through is legit. Often, is simply isn't.

What is crazy is when the person who failed to do what they said, in an absurd linguistic-judo move, removes the yoke of responsibility from themselves and places the blame on the other!

I was left speechless just a few days ago when the blame was shifted from "Fred" (who didn't keep his word) to "Tom" (the guy who'd been promised then denied something). The lesson being discussed wasn't that Fred needs to keep his word. It was that Tom needs to show more mercy.

I almost fell out of my seat as I watched the offender turn teacher to the offended during the debrief of events. This happens more than we might generally realize. People can shift the blame everywhere but rarely affix it to themselves.

The Uncompromised, on the other hand, are quick to take responsibility. That is part of what makes them different, rare and extraordinary.

Dealing with the Unexpected

This guy just went in for an oil change... (maybe)

JFK said that the time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

Aint that the truth!

People have fantasies that who they really are will be discovered -and admired by others, through adversity or challenge.

The truth is, though, that who you are is the result of daily practice. If you can't handle little stuff with coolness or humility (for example) you won't suddenly sprout divine presence that allows you those qualities when your car breaks in two. It takes courage to recognize this.

The Uncompromised of our world engage rather than avoid reality. We'd better get to work on repairing our roof now. What qualities is it time for you to nurture and grow?

RR

I Don't Understand!

But I brush three times a day!

Yes, I floss!

No, these are NOT my teeth but I did just get back from the dentist.

I had a very brief but fascinating conversation with Nicole, my hygienist. Ah-hem, my teeth were very nice and easy to clean -not much scraping. Pictures not forthcoming.

Anyway, Nicole said that it's amazing how gunky the teeth are that people come in with. I get it, we've all seen some nasty teeth before. But I busted out laughing when she said in all seriousness, and a fair degree of faith in her clients, that many of these people will say some version of, "But I brush three times a day and floss!"

Look, I could go on but...what a scam! Here is where I'm looking today: Where am I gunked up, in denial and acting as if I'm doing all I can do while the results are there for all with eyes to see?

With Sparkling Teeth and Looking Elsewhere,

RR

Dust and Sweat

Sometimes we fail to do what we’re capable of.

It’s even worse when, deep in the recesses of our minds, we decide that we aren’t really going to work so hard but… we’ll keep up the illusion.

This is where we kick up a lot of dust to make our efforts look convincing and sincere -while we know that we aren’t really doing what we are capable of.

I’ve seen people sweat (literally and figuratively) and actually work harder avoiding work than if they just did the thing they are avoiding. Come on… haven’t you seen that guy who huffs and puffs as if he’s totally maxed-out after not doing anything but notice you watching? This happen in offices, athletics, construction… It actually is kind of funny isn’t it?

The trick is to notice when we’re pulling one over on ourselves. This is compromise and it’s an easy habit to acquire.

Don’t Compromise,

RR

Uncompromised Fitness

Shut up.

No, you can't have another desert this week.

Yes, you do have to eat more vegetables.

Intending to do a kick-butt workout is worthless.

Move your body, sweat, push yourself.

If you're hungry, you're probably thirsty. Drink water.

RR

Dad's Wisdom

I used to be a mason (brick, block, concrete). It was there that I received a lot of life's best lessons. Today we'll talk about one of my dad's keepers.

I worked for my dad by the way. Now, say that to most people and the think something along the lines of, "posh gig" or "good deal being the boss' son".

Consider this: most people who've worked for family have a different perspective -as the expectations are usually much greater. My dad put everything in hock -mortgaged the house and everything for a shot at success in business. Not posh.

What does this equal? Urgency, rigor and a low tolerance for nonsense. At 18, I needed to learn all three.

There were occasions where we'd be done with all the work necessary and waiting on a concrete truck or a delivery. My dad couldn't stand idleness. In all seriousness, he'd snap- "Hey, Ronnie, sweep the floor, jog in place, Do Something!"

Bottom line: You are here to be productive -PRODUCE!

My bottom line? Have fun, yes... but Do Something!

RR

Hard-won Respect

I remember hearing Dr. Laura (radio and TV commentator) grousing about the fact that we give so much praise to the kids who were on drugs and then stop, while we tend to not praise or celebrate those kids who never start doing drugs. I get what she said!

She's got a point for sure. We tend to celebrate the recovery of one lost sheep (as in the bible story) while just assuming that the other 99 should be good. It's easy to give the squeaky wheel grease and miss the good work and lives of the '99'.

We've all got 'the 99' in our lives -those who tow the line, who do the right thing, who are just trying to be and do the right thing. I'm going to take a look around me today and tell some of those people how much I appreciate them -who I know them to be. Why should I wait? How much longer until they've earned my words of appreciation?

Today's the day!

RR

Bad Habits in Moderation?

Do you know what Angry Birds is?

It is a really cool game app that engages your mind, heart and addiction gland by clever use of physics, logic and electronic force. You are an 'angry bird'. Your beloved eggs have been stolen by nefarious green pigs. Over hundreds of boards you attack and kill these pigs in the attempt to rescue your eggs.

Fine.

Except this game, is the culmination of some outrageous number of hyper-cool cosmic elements colliding. Somehow, it's actually nearly impossible to stop playing.

Funny... until I want to get something done. I've literally had to resort to saying out loud, "This is the last game." and then and only then can I stop!! I've actually gone to bed saying that I'd play for just a few minutes and an hour later I'm forcefully declaring to myself that, "This is it!"

I think I'd be better off just deleting the silly game as moderation is hard with this thing. It might sound goofy, but it is true. What's not funny is how I am with this game undermines my commitment to sleep and then I'm more tired than I want, then...

Silly little compromise and... not really.

Am I alone? What 'bad' habits do you do that moderation is hard to achieve if not an all-together myth?

RR

Mugged!

No, not at gun or knife-point -but in front of my computer!

I was checking out some links listed by a top blogger as places he'd leveraged to build his following. I'm keen on learning from people who know what I don't so down the list (several short lists on a long post) I went. Second to last grouping and second link down... Blam-O!

Up comes a site that was degrading and kind of intriguing (like a car accident) that I never expected to see. I was mugged. Out of nowhere I was confronted with something I didn't ask for and didn't want.

I quickly closed the window and with eyes bugged out of my head gasped, "What the..." I did complete the phrase.

'Muggings' are tests to see if we are who we say we are. You may be 'mugged' by a tray of cookies, a letter from the IRS, someone's irate response to you or a proposal of one sort or another. How you respond reveals you to yourself and the world.

How have you been mugged? What did you see in yourself?

Keep Moving

Nothing good, great or revolutionary ever came without some degree of struggle. It's the person who won't stop moving and pressing that enjoys success.

'Not stopping' doesn't mean 'not resting', but in the words of Jim Rohn, "...rest very little". Too much rest grants you fatigue, frustration and apathy.

As you keep moving... will you cry, crank or be confused? You bet. This is your training ground. This is the chasm that separates the hoi-polloi from The Uncompromised.

As you cross over and begin to see your 'promised land' you'll be glad you pressed through.

Be Good - Do Great,

RR

There is a Season...

Can you harvest what you didn't plant?

What will you maintain that you haven't first planted?

Can you rest from slumber?

What will you be doing during planting season?

There's a season you are in in your life right now. What is it?

Is it time to rest -yet you continue to pursue?

Is it time to plant but you 'deserve' a bit more R&R?

Is it time to harvest but you don't?

Is it time to maintain what you've already done but you're in a hurry?

Respect the season. In the northern hemisphere it is time to harvest... not rest.

What season is it for you?

In Spring,

RR

Saying No

Periodically I'm asked to endorse someone for their coaching credentials. This means that I write a short letter (email) that indicates that I've heard them coach and can endorse them for a particular caliber of proficiency or talent.

I've had to say 'no' recently to two people who I like. It hurt in the moment but man, I feel so good; I respect myself! I feel good because I know that the times that I have and the times that I will endorse someone actually mean something. I respect myself because I see the value of my word increasing.

Sure it would be easier to say 'yes' to everyone and make more 'friends'. But man, do I want more 'friends' that know that I'll breach my word for the sake of niceness and to avoid 'pain'? No, I'd rather have those that stick with me as I stick to my integrity.

Heck! I've got to find more things and people to say 'no' to!

You?

RR

Some of My Favorites: Quotes

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -Mark Twain

Let your words be as few as will express the sense you wish to convey and above all let what you say be true. -TJ Jackson

It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. Helen Keller

Some goals are so worthy, it’s glorious even to fail. -A. Jackson

You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind. –Irish proverb

This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him. –William Lyon Phelps

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. –John F. Kennedy

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. Dolores Ibarruri -Spanish politician

If passion drives, let reason hold the reins. - Benjamin Franklin

What a Difference 17 Years Makes

Seventeen years ago I woke up to the notion that I really could be and do more than I was living at the time.

Today I see how much further I can go.

Seventeen years ago I figured I could 'get it' and 'get there'.

Today I sigh (I just did!) as I learn to love what is, now.

Seventeen years ago I though I had to be Tony Robbins to be successful.

Today, I'm so very happy to be me.

Change takes time and change happens in an instant.

RR

Thank You!

I started with a new client recently who had wanted to work with me for some time. This happens from time to time -and when we do get together, I alway find it important to update the other on where I stand philosophically so they can choose me and how I work consciously... rather than based on memories or an old version of RR.

Well, after talking to this dude about The Uncompromised he took my 3 minute long explanation and said it back in about 20 seconds! He said, "You believe that who people are at their best is who they are... they are 'uncompromised'. The Uncompromised is about preserving and choosing this rather than the things that compromise this more natural state." YES!

The only thing I'd add is that we don't have to look for something to do to prove great quality. We need only not compromise... or choose The Uncompromised way in each thing we do.

Be Good (be your true self) - Do Great (natural product of being good),

RR

Ron's Dilemma

I have to get rid of some books!

I have scores of books that I just don't agree with anymore. I know the content, I've walked that path. I just can't pick one of them to part with.

I really like books. I like to read them, I like to organize them, I like to look at them, I like to wrestle with them... I like books!

You know, I should just give them away... Agrh! But in 10 years my boys might want to have them... Really? Am I a storage facility for a potential candidate for books that I think they may appreciate someday??

What is it about books that makes them so hard to unload?

Ah, forget it. I'm going to read.

RR

How Do You Appeal?

An appeal was made to me recently that I kind of resent. Not only do I not feel honored or inspired by this appeal, I feel frustrated, and as I said... resentment.

I'm really quick to notice what I have to learn both in my own private life and on this blog but today I want to shine the light 'out there'.

The creators/discoverers of NLP Bandler/Grinder said it best when they said that the meaning of any communication is the meaning that is received. That puts the responsibility to communicate effectively directly on the shoulders of the one communicating.

I've noticed appeals from friends, families, strangers, high school kids wanting to sell $10 discount cards, Girl Scouts and their infernal delicious cookies and the bank teller who suddenly is excited about my banking needs as they chipper-ly tell me about their CD rate of - 1.45%.

When you want something, when you have an agenda... what do you do? Do you become someone else?? Do you turn on the charm? Do you manipulate emotions such as guilt or pity? Do you overwhelm with excitement? It's worth noticing.

What strikes me is that if the bank teller was always nice and friendly to me, asking curious question and/or connecting, I'd be much more open to hearing his/her pitch. It seems to me that we'd better engage people with the best in us, not just when we want something.

RR

If it's Right...

If it's right, shut up and do it.

That actually could be the whole blog post but...

I signed up for an adventure race because I'd met a guy who organizes cool events on a plane to Chicago a couple months ago and because I'd not done anything cool like this in some time. I thought I could mix business with my need to sweat, bleed and leave everything I had on the mountain.

My wife has never even done a 5k (she's an aerobics gal) but I really encouraged her to do it. Yes! She signed up.

Soon I realized my race would go from race to escort. Ak!

Truth be known, I groused, pretended I wasn't, I whined and acted like I was into supporting her in this big first event for her. Finally I changed my attitude because I knew it was right... not because I wanted to.

Well with right attitude in place, yesterday we did the race. I escorted my Maria all the way; I'm so glad I did. I always talk about heart/being first then action. Well sometimes you just have to do the right thing and have that hardness/lack of motivation be broken along the way.

It's funny to think about too, that if I'd have won the race (there was no danger of that mind you, but if...), I would have wanted my best friend Maria with me to celebrate. Yesterday, Maria asked me to be with her as she exerted and celebrated. I'm glad I was a stand-by-my-woman man yesterday.

Racers are encouraged to dress to express, to be laughed at, remembered or however you want to. I was told that I'd be the Cat in the Hat. Yes dear.

RR

PS I shaved my beard to be silly... I don't think anyone got it.

It's a Grand Scam!

Everybody like a good baseball analogy. Ahem! I said, EVERYBODY likes a good baseball analogy.

Sometimes when I'm coaching I'll hear my clients say something that we both know isn't true or is some goofy or downright destructive thing they're considering that it keeps them from living like The Uncompromised. That goofy crap I call their 'scam'.

After we identify their scam a bit more clearly I'll suggest they add it to their ESPN highlight reel of cool moves they use to keep them where they are. From time to time, there is something uttered or something avoided that is so obvious, so ridiculous and unfortunately so destructive it is worthy of labeling a Grand Scam!

Mine used to be: I'm too young. Completely debilitating to be 29 years old and too young for... well anything I wanted to do. By the way, I had that until the day I figured that my scam was killing me and that in time I'd simply switch to, I'm too old.

Oh, I've had more and still have some...

What is your Grand Scam that aint nobody cheering for? ...at least not anybody you'd be proud to bring home to your mother.

RR

4:30 AM

I never regret when I get up at 4:30 AM. In my house, it guarantees me two solid hours in total silence.

Benjamin Franklin said 10 or 20 years ago (plus or minus 250), "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man (women too) healthy, wealthy and wise." I'm down with that plan.

I know there are those who get that quiet time at night (I just don't get it) but regardless of when... get you some. If you are up to anything worthwhile -and this might be a test, you need that alone, quiet, writing, reflecting and/or creative time.

I'd fallen off the wagon recently as I started staying up later so I could do more over the course of a couple days. Well that turning into several days makes morning wake up later and later. Suddenly I'm working, not at my best (4:30-6:30 AM), but just 'doing more busy stuff' between 9 and 11. Not productive. Compromised. Fatigue... ug.

Sometimes it's hard to remember what you are investing in before you get the payoff. For me, getting to bed with a book at 9:30 preferably, and 10 for sure, guarantees a happy boy in the morning.

Oye! I'll let you know how I did this week on Thursday!

17 days until my book is due to the editor! I'd better get in bed... oh wait. It's 6:45 AM!

RR

Short-sighted!

I've been there before, pal...

At my son's (6 year old) soccer practice yesterday the coach had the kids run all the way down the field and back. A few kids fell behind a bit -anint gonna be a 17-way tie, right?

The father of one of the stragglers started yelling for his kid to hustle. Fine. I get it; listen to your coach. But suddenly I see the father switch from wanting his boy to hustle to irritation that the boy wasn't listening to him or the coach.

The little guy ran over to his dad crying and his dad just kept saying, "No, no... listen to your coach. Get out there." Now it's a tug of war. Dad, determined that he'll be listened to and son with his initial discontent now coupled with anxiety that his dad was forcing him away, as tears fell. Dad ended up pushing him back on the field as he was crying -red face, tears rolling and quite audibly.

I've been here. It's not pretty. Ever lose sight of why you are doing something?

RR

Why Now?!

So I'm writing this book. Things are coming together but man there is still a lot left to write, organize and link together.

Inspiration was supposed to visit this morning at 4:30 not 8:30 last night when I was trying to crash. Of course it was well after 9 by the time I went to bed but I was able to capture my inspiration -and that is what matters.

I just wish inspiration would keep better hours.

RR

Why Create??

Aint nothin' new gonna be said. Every note that there ever will be has been played, every color one could hope to put on canvas (or base of your choice) has been put there.

Books have been written, speeches given and songs composed. Basically it's the same stuff with a new marketing twist.

I used to think, "Man, the Beatles did Abbey Road, how could it get better... why would people bother trying to be better than that!?" Depending on your preference, the Bible, Torah or Koran, Tao de Ching, etc. have been written. What other wisdom is there. There aren't gonna be any new fundamentals...

The truth is not everyone likes The Beatles, and even though whatever you do has probably been done many times over, what the world needs is you, now.

Your way of speaking, your combination of colors, your unique perspective, your notes, spaces, chords and tempo, texture... we need you!

No wanna-be reheated version of Tony Robbins, John Lennon, Poe, or even Raphael will get the job done. What the world needs is you -stripped of the unessential nonsense yet out loud and inspired.

The faithful expression of your true identity is what will give you peace now, inspire others... and if you create for a living, we all do... it's what will sell.

Be Good-Do Great,

RR

Sabotage!

Oh man, ever catch yourself doing something you know you shouldn't or saying something you know better than utter? It's strange in that moment as your reality almost splits in two. You are there in the situation, physically as that pause button goes on and you begin a dialog inside your head!

It's really strange in those times of conscious compromise when you start becoming lawyer-man or lawyer-woman, using all kinds of verbal gymnastics to avoid the truth of a situation and sabotage something better. We renegotiate that which we'd already determined and are literally arguing on the side of sloth, laziness, procrastination, blame, fear, apathy...

Craziness! But that voice that has you eat another piece of cake or go to bed beyond the time you'd already determined is a real and really seductive 'voice'.

What is the antidote, Mr. Renaud? Well, take a look at the four Universal Standards of The Uncompromised philosophy. Consider Enthusiasm, Courage, Endurance and Integrity. Which US has been eroded sufficiently in your life that you are now considering acceptable the negotiation of your agreements to yourself?

I know for me (because of that %&*# app, Angry Birds) last night I stayed awake 25 minutes later than I wanted. 25 minutes might seems like no big deal but... the 25 minutes isn't the point (thought it is a breach of my word). The point is that in those 25 minutes I said to myself, "No matter what, this is my last game"... 15 times! Each time I said, "Oh well..." and played again.

Ug! It is a slippery slope when renegotiation becomes easy because compromise starts small, we get cozy with it and it becomes easy with the bigger things as well.

What are the little ways that you've compromised?

How long did you take??? ...to do what??

I write a blog for a local paper in Albany (NY) each Monday. I've been writing for some time and haven't experienced much trouble in saying something that has some value -and doing it in 30-45 minutes. That was until this Monday (8/23).

I wrote for 5 hours.

I posted it.

It was not good. Oh, it was not good.

I deleted it.

I struggled for a topic to write about.

Took 2 more hours to write something that was about 300 words!

http://blog.timesunion.com/success/the-uncompromised-honda-pilot/270/

Wow. Some days we just don't have it, at all!

Lessons for me? Write that blog in advance of my due date. I know, I know... I'm not sure what to say about another lesson but I do know that sometimes when a situation goes far past absurd, it can be surprisingly funny.

Wow... that was only 10 minutes!

RR

Watershed Moments

A watershed is where things come together to form or take on a new direction.

What are the moments that you most powerfully recall changing your life?

Who said what to you?

What did you see or do?

What decision did you make?

What were the circumstances?

I will never forget one watershed moment in my life. My brother confronted me with some hard truths regarding my decent into ignorance. It marked a turning point in my life that set me on a course for becoming a different person and doing what I so enjoy today: teaching and coaching.

I don't know if you can incite or predict a watershed moment and they aren't always cozy when they occur, but what you can do is choose how you'll respond to these moments.

On second thought, maybe you can make such a radical decision in your life that you can create a watershed moment. Hmmmm, what will yours be??

RR

What is Courage?

Courage is doing what 'must be' done. What is courage? Courage is:

1. saying no to another drink.
2. exercising when you don't want to.
3. remaining quiet.
4. speaking up!
5. saying, "I love you".
6. departing when you know something isn't right.
7. speaking up when something is wrong.
8. forgiving.
9. seeing yourself in the humblest of society.
10. acknowledging the greatness within ourselves.
11. sacrificing for another.
12. holding on another moment.
13. keeping your word even when no one would know if you didn't.
14. doing the hard thing.
15. doing what is easy to put off doing.
16. saying what you believe
17. being humble
18. reading a book who's author you don't expect to agree with.
19. smiling anyway.
20. asking for help.

What is courage? Look to The Uncompromised.

RR

Keeping it Simple

I've heard it said that the wisdom of the generations can be boiled down to this: There ain't no free lunch.

That got me thinking about what the bottom line philosophy of The Uncompromised is. Here it goes. The Uncompromised have integrity and are consistent.

Integrity: Be Good

Consistency: Do Great

Simple...

Be Good -Do Great,

RR

When Nobody is Looking...

It's easy to hold true to your word when you know people are watching. It's easier to let ourselves be slack around all sorts of agreements we make when no one is looking -or no one will know.

Excluding for just a moment, any scenario dealing directly with another... I wonder, who are you when you compromise your integrity to yourself? What are the consequences of breaching your word to yourself -even if it is 'only' about mowing the lawn or flossing your teeth at night?

Compromised integrity creates low self-esteem, hamstrings potential and obscures purpose. It erodes your true identity and sets you up to tolerate the next compromise.

Where are you most apt to compromise your word today? Where do you have the potential to get a bit loose with what you've already decided?

Be Good-Do Great!

RR

I Don't Want To Be Motivated!

Boy, sometimes we all just feel unmotivated, or rather, motivated to be lazy, restful or the like. Of course, this isn't a habit for those who make endurance a standard in their lives.

The Ironman USA triathlon was just held in Lake Placid this past Sunday. The Ironman is a triathlon with a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and a 26.2 mile run. If you've never done it and have no interest in trying... go see it. It'll inspire -and more, wake you up to many great examples of endurance in action.

As the world champions finish, go back to their hotels, shower, eat and go about their day and evening... the real inspiration begins. While the next eight hours pass, people of every body type are mashing out the last 50 miles on their bikes, running a marathon and fulfilling dreams. These people who one might have easily judged the day before as 'fat', 'weak' or 'old', suddenly are completing and event that most people will only dream of -or dismiss for its difficulty.

You can't fake an Ironman. You can't fake results. You can't fake endurance.

The finishers of the Ironman races aren't dabblers, samplers or posers; they are intimate with standard of endurance possessed by all The Uncompromised. For months and often years they endured scheduling hardships, physical, mental and emotional challenges, made sacrifices, stretched themselves and rode, ran and swam countless hours so they'd be ready for the big day. Sunday, in Lake Placid, NY, endurance met opportunity -and many witnessed The Uncompromised.

Inspired to-

Be Good -Do Great,

RR

Enthusiasm and Investment

I was just thinking about enthusiasm and investment. These two concepts we can't avoid in life. It's just a matter what we are enthusiastic about and what each of us are investing in.

Who is investing in you? What type of energy are they investing in you? Are the people you've invited into your world ripe with enthusiasm -positive attitude and physical energy? If not, how would you describe their quality and level of enthusiasm? Does that merit your investment in them?

What about you? Are you living with enthusiasm? Are you investing in your amazing opportunity called life, with enthusiasm? On what are you spending your enthusiasm/energy?

We all have enthusiasm for something. We all invest energy, time, thoughts and emotion in various things. What kind of life are you most investing in as evidenced by how you are living?

Booker T -An Example of Endurance

There is a lot to be said about the virtues and life of Booker T. Washington (BTW). I'll take the time to share just a little of why he's a hero of mine.

He was born into slavery and became one of the most famous and influential people of his generation. Like the expression goes: The team at the top of the mountain didn't fall there, BTW didn't fall into great fame, influence or an enduring legacy of note.

Up From Slavery is Washington's autobiography which is well worth reading and reflecting upon. It's an enormously compelling story of ignorance, laziness and potential hatred turned wisdom, industry and benevolence.

Though there is almost no good place to start except the beginning, in regards to getting the real impact of BTW's story, let me give you the skinny on what kind of man he was.

After completely changing his life and becoming a teacher himself, he was recommended -even though not white, as a man capable of beginning, heading and providing for a new school in rural Alabama. Long story short -there was no school, there was no financing, there were some good people in his corner but that and an old chicken coop got him a few eggs and not much else.

He created an environment at this 'university' where rigor of learning and dignity in labor reigned. Leading an institution remotely in those days (which was difficult at best) Washington was also obligated to constantly be doing speeches in an attempt to sell people (potential donors) on the virtue of investing in the cause of a people and merit of his ideas for them.

The needs seemingly never ended and so Washington literally spent years walking all over the country from town to town giving speeches to hundreds and to nearly empty rooms. Day after day and night after night and year after year he put himself in places where he could influence change in the hearts and minds of two races.

Sometimes treated like royalty but often treated worse than a criminal, Washington carried on for decades changing society and lifting up a people through his example and extraordinary efforts, until his passing.

The Uncompromised Washington's life is an example of what is possible when we don't get caught up in dabbling, quibbling or too much rest. A life of endurance, awesome service to others, fulfillment in doing what he felt called to do -his legacy is secure.

Rest in peace, Mr. Washington.

RR

Not Deciding is Deciding

iphone 4 or Droid X?

AT&T or Verizon?

Cheaper phone and longer contract or more expensive phone and simply go month to month?

I thought about what I'd do before the iphone came out and as the news of the new Droid became public. My contract with Verizon was up in May. I still couldn't decide what to do, but I don't like the phone I have now.

*The problem with writing about something as rigorous as The Uncompromised is people will hold you to that standard. Well Saturday I was at a NY state park -and there I was with my accountant, who asked if I'd gotten the new phone yet.

I won't say which phone he owns except that he nailed me on my own philosophy when I told him that I'd still not decided. The truth is I know what I want to buy but I'm being lazy by avoiding the stores and waiting for some elusive piece of conclusive evidence one way or the other. He said, "Ron, don't compromise. Just buy the phone."

He knows what I want in a phone and expects me to just decide and do. I thought I could put the decision off. In fact what I've been doing the last 3 months is deciding to use a junky phone that doesn't meet any of my needs. Hmmm. I don't like the sound of that.

And you? In what area of life have you 'decided' to put off a decision but it really has amounted to a compromise of something important for you?

RR

What is Integrity?

Madame Dictionary says integrity is: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I get that. I think we all think of integrity this way.

Even better though is the second definition: the state of being whole and undivided. Yes!

When we breach our integrity, we undermine who we are at our best -which is who we really are, and we establish ourselves as something else. When we compromise our word/integrity we create a division between our world and who we are. That means our happiness and effectiveness.

Once divided, we are more apt to say and do things that don't reflect who we really are. At best unnecessary struggle begins, and at worst, the race to the bottom begins.

However, as we stand firm and live consistent with what we say we say is important to us, not only do we enjoy the results of being men and women of our words, but we grow in our dedication to being that man or woman. That dedication equals strength and motivation to keep making good decisions.

You are successful and fulfilled to the degree that you'll live out your integrity. Better know what you stand for then, huh?

RR

Compromise to Compromise

It's the second time in about four days someone told me about this dude, Osho. Anyway, a friend of mine sent this Osho quote to me: Compromise. It is one thing to meet another halfway. It is another to 'cave in' and betray your own truth.

I like this. Though I don't worry too much about discussing the more typical use and context of the word 'compromise' (happy medium, give and take) -because I'm more concerned about the ways we surrender our lives to the folly of compromising our integrity, I think this Osho guy really nailed it.

Isn't that one of our moves we use that costs us so dearly? We 'compromise' to keep peace or take care of another -but we can easily end up accommodating everyone to our own expense.

So what do you know?

How does good intention and compromise lead to compromise that we can't live with?

RR

Enthusiasm's Revenge

I wrote recently about a neck injury I suffered -and still am dealing with. I'd been working out and getting in the best shape of my life, when I suddenly had to stop.

For the first couple of days I found myself enjoying the much-needed rest both my mind and body wanted and needed. During the next few days I lamented that the program I was on would have to be abandoned for a time. As I now head deep into the second week of my inability to do that work out, my enthusiasm for exercise has waned yet my appetite or rather my desire to eat has increased. Sort of an, "If I can't workout, I'll find pleasure here then!" deal.

A couple days ago, I realized I was in a downward slide. I leveled with myself and got that if I didn't change my attitude and my eating -and exercise lightly the few muscles I could, this short-term injury might have a serious impact on not only my exercise routine but worse, cause me to lose enthusiasm in general.

Though I confess I feel a bit lame (literally and figuratively), I 'm not going to let this injury take me out and make me change how I want to do things. If enthusiasm is one of the distinguishing traits, Universal Standards, of The Uncompromised... then I have to have it!

I'm not going to feel bad about myself just because I'm not as strong as I want to be. My life is about bigger things.

What I'm aware of right now, is that enthusiasm is a choice and it doesn't end with one decision...

RR

Spasm, Sampling or Endurance

Endurance is discipline or committed, consistent action toward a consciously set goal. It is a sustainable way of living.

Spasms of effort and activity are the mark of those who want... but not enough to change their habits (thinking and doing). These folks are always kicking up a lot of dust but seldom get anywhere.

Sampling is the lifestyle of the optimist who believes in change and possibility but flirts -and too often goes home with laziness.

What does it take to live like The Uncompromised? It's a four-step process: Get clear about what you want, have endurance in your efforts, enjoy the results and repeat.

RR

PS Ha... Just before I clicked "Publish Post" I realize this is nothing more than the lesson we learned in reading "The Tortoise and the Hare".

Retreat From Endurance?

Nooooo!

Man, I'm so pumped up about this workout I'm doing! I'm getting in the best shape of my life and... my neck is spazing-out!

It is a 60 day program, yes I'm in the 'recovery' week but, ahhh, I've missed two days. I'll probably miss 3 more -which places me (hopefully ready) on Monday with more intense workouts -and fingers crossed.

Endurance, one of The Universal Standard of The Uncompromised, is not about sampling, but about discipline, consistency, determined/focused effort and sustainability. Oh... Hmmmmm, sustainability.

I remember hearing someone say that, "It's easy to be hard and hard to be smart." Isn't that the truth?! Actually I think I was was being 'hard' last week when my neck was feeling a bit tight and slightly spasmodic; I just kept working out, determined not to quit. So instead of voluntarily, and wisely opting out, I got taken out!

Just like too many people take themselves out of the game by not being disciplined or working hard, others like me can get blinded by their own resolve and lose the very thing they are after.

Here I am, icing and even taking muscle relaxers (I almost never take any pill), contemplating how hard sometimes it is to be smart, what the cost of being 'hard' is -and learning a vital nuance of true Endurance: sustainability.

On Ice,

RR

Could It Be This Easy?

Choose consciously; act accordingly.

The Lost Art of Forgiveness

There is a lot to be said about the immense need we as individuals, as well as great cultures and nations, have for true forgiveness. We all have the ability to forgive and let peace be... so what's the problem?

The problem for the one who feels offended, wronged or that something sacred has been somehow transgressed, can be found in a few places. Forgiveness can be hard when:

• You think people are basically idiots.
• You think that your holding a grudge somehow hurts the “offender”.
• You've got a mind/heart for retaliation rather than reconciliation.
• You get attention for being a victim or a martyr.
• You realize that forgiveness can be hard!

The issue facing the offender (the guy or gal that did the wrong-ing) falls into a few categories. It should be self-explanatory why this issue exists, but asking for forgiveness:

• Confirms your guilt.
• Requires humility -sometimes a lot.
• Risks greater loss of community (soiled reputation).
• Means that we have to confront our own shortcomings.

The cultural issue we have, in being able to forgive, comes sometimes from not understanding the above points as well as understanding the process of forgiveness -but just as often from not doing what we do know! If we want to have fantastic relationships with others, and peace with ourselves, it'll serve us all if we do more than consider this process.

As offenders, we need to be quicker to confess/admit and make appropriate restitution for what we've done. Restitution is essentially covering the 'cost' of your error.

If you fail to be there for somebody as promised, restitution might mean that you are extra diligent and go above and beyond in being there for them in the future. If you break somebody's iPod, immediately replace it and offer your help in restoring files etc. The attempt and act of restoration is meaningless without humility in the recognition that you've made a mistake.

As the offended, we need to be quick to forgive and absolute in restoring people. Restoration means that we don't hold a grudge, bring up this error again -and more, we treat people based on who they are at their best. Now that takes humility.

I guess I could have kept this post a lot shorter by saying that the bottom line, in the lost art of forgiveness, is humility.

In Humble Service,

RR

I'm OK With Contracts Now...mostly

For years I've been averse to signing certain contracts. Why? Because my word/your word is all we should need. If your word or my word doesn't mean anything, what does a lousy signature mean?

More recently, I've had to sign some contracts with corporations. Man, they are fussy! But I get it and think I'm willing to consider the 'dark side'. Yes, contracts can be so frustrating and cumbersome -and yes, I understand that contracts are used to cover and protect people legally. There is something more elementary to a contract -and vital to those who sign off.

Contracts spell out very clearly what everyone is agreeing to. So, should anyone become confused, or compelled to forget what they gave their word to, here is the agreement spelled out and signed off by the ones who guarantee the contract fulfillment.

I like it. And though I'd never considered it before, creating a compelling vision and setting goals is worthy of our careful attention, “formal” documentation and signature.

I'm all about clarity -clarity of plan, clarity of action and clarity when we are either following through or in some fashion denying what we said we would do. Now I'm wondering, what would the impact be in your or my life if we:

- clearly wrote down our intentions

- clearly identified specific goals and dates for their achievement

- clearly identified the results of breach of contract

- clearly identified the rewards for the contract fulfillment

- signed this contract in the presence of a couple of witnesses (these witnesses could be accountability buddies or your coach)

I've never done this with myself or clients, but I wonder… I wonder how much more we could achieve in our personal and professional lives if we took our goals this seriously?

RR

Cranky Guy on the Prarie

I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie -or affectionately, 'Little House'. What a great show it was and is (on DVD) about a good and earnest family, working to make a good life, do good by others and get ahead through honest hard work.

The Ingalls family was made up of a father/husband who was hardworking, honest, a sensitive and a loyal friend. Mom/wife was a diligent, hardworking, industrious, smart, feminine woman. All three children were well-behaved, conscientious, responsible, loving and full of personality.

Ak. I confess that it wasn't until about two years ago that I recognized, why for some time I had been feeling a lingering sense of unhappiness or disappointment. It may sound silly, but it's true, I had some version of the “Little House Ideal" lodged in my brain.

Finding that my own family (to include myself) lacked the industry, piety, humility, discipline and internal fortitude that the Ingalls family displayed so sharply, profoundly and neatly in 60 minutes each week, I found myself constantly disappointed in my situation. Somehow along the line, without me even knowing, I began to chase the elusive horizon of the "Little House Ideal" for what a “good” family meant.

Goals are great! Having an ideal in your mind's eye is a good thing. But we get ourselves in a lot of trouble when we set ourselves up, expecting to reach the ideal. Like the horizon, the ideal is a moving target and just as it is vital in navigating towards something great, it too -to the unconscious goal setter, can cause pain, disappointment and destruction of the very thing you want.

Set great and compelling goals. Heck, even look to the ideal as a source of inspiration, just set your expectations carefully -'cause even if you leave now, you'll never swim and catch the horizon -and you'll definitely drown.

Have a nice day!

RR

Serious About Happiness

I have come to realize, that in every interaction I have with my clients, I am either underwriting their excellence or their mediocrity. That's quite a responsibility. So, when I'm taking my job seriously, I'm better able to help people live out what brings them happiness.

Know what? We all have the same responsibility. With everyone we engage in conversation or a passing glance, we are creating something. What is that something we want to create?

I've gotta believe, that if I can choose to be me at my best -while being convinced that you too are great, life changes -for both of us.

This is easier said than done, of course. But I wonder will be possible when we all get a little bit more serious about happiness.

RR

Old Demons Never Die...

I'm staring at an award I received at the end of my senior year. It's the sportsmanship award…

I hung this little plaque in my office recently, after my parents unearthed it from their attic. I hung it in my office for motivation.

After years of serious dedication to being a great basketball player, I became really good… but afraid. I could dribble, shoot, I was pretty fast and good on defense. But I was afraid to be physical. I was afraid to drive to the basket and 'mix it up'. As a result, I wasn't much of a threat and so my coach didn't have a place for me.

For years, the award felt like a consolation prize and I like a guy who had to prove (to myself) that I was more than an 85%er. After my parents found it, I thought I should hang it up and use it as motivation to complete my book as well as my other plans. Instead, I've been feeling as if none of my professional efforts are good enough. Like, I have to prove to my coach that I'm willing to feel the pain and “get physical” (i.e. do more and more and...).

I'm going to stop writing now. I'm going to take down that plaque. I'm going to give that 18-year-old Ronnie a dose of much-needed mercy. I'm going to enjoy who I've become and what I've achieved -while I'm on my way to what's next.

RR

Going Someplace

I was at Reagan National Airport recently when a US Air representative (one of those people who announce the flights by the gates) caught my ear, then my eye and then my full attention. Somebody is going to snatch up Bernard before long because he so powerfully exemplifies one of the four attributes of The Uncompromised.

Enthusiasm -it's what moves you, with purpose, to get out of bed in the morning and to engage people and situations in a powerful and positive way. Everybody wants to be around somebody who's alive, enthusiastic.

Boy, did Bernard have enthusiasm! Normally I don't mind having to sit a couple of hours in an airport waiting for my plane; it gives me the opportunity to read and read. But, I couldn't get into my book. Sitting by my gate, I couldn't wait to hear what Bernard would say next -and how he would say it.

I copied a few of his highlights for our mutual pleasure:

Philadelphia 4261 -we are sharing the brotherly love by boarding his flight. Home of the 2008 World Series champions and a whole lot of cheesesteaks... boarding at gate C 31...

US Air flight 8231 to Raleigh is ready to board. Go Heels! Raleigh...where the sky is Tar Heel blue -which is proof that God is a Carolina fan. Now boarding at gate…

Bernard had different material for every city -and each announcement for that city. His enthusiasm showed in his preparation and the energy of his delivery. How many airline representatives go home and practice how they can bring more of themselves to their work? How many of us do?

Bernard's enthusiasm made a difference in the lives of many travelers that night. He seemed to be enjoying himself to.

Fly through Reagan National soon, because Bernard won't be there long.

RR