I talk a good game. I talk a good game because I've been up to some big stuff. I've done more in my life then I ever thought I could.
...but things got comfy and I've been on cruise control, enjoying a certain degree of success.
I've written about 30,000 words of a book that I've committed to writing yet haven't written in 2+ months -at least not anything substantial. At first I was taking time to clarify my audience, to reread and edit what I'd written. But now it's been almost 3 months and I can't deny that I'm compromised.
My word to myself, in terms of slotted writing times, I've breeched. Agreements to myself to at least capture this concept or that on paper have found a backseat to clearing of junk from my desk (which did need attention). Again and again I've compromised to the point where I now see blatantly that my compromises of my integrity and identity are because I'm scared.
I'm scared to be an author, the speaker for $10k/hr and coach for $50k/yr. I'm scared that I could have the impact and actually get what I say I want, and I have to deal with it.
The principles/standards for which I stand and live to teach don't need to change; I do.
Where have you been dodging your destiny for noble sounding activity?
RR
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You post reminds of the addage "a persons greatest fear is the fear of success."
ReplyDeleteYes, I think you're right. The old standby comes to mind that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.
ReplyDeleteFear isn't such a bad thing, more important than avoiding fear is using it well, non?
RR