Do You Have Any Standards (Personal Standards)?

No...? Uh-oh!

Some people have a religion that they adhere to (whether loosely or strictly), others may have spiritual codes, ethics, or philosophies that are important for them. Sure, any study of religion and ethics, philosophy or spirituality in general will point you toward standards and how you should live your life.

The above conversation is an important one. Everybody should be thinking about what is right and wrong and how they should live their lives and leave their legacy. But I'm about talk about something different: Personal Standards (PS).

Personal Standards are bold declarations and commitments that are self-appointed to specify how you're going to live your life (not in a moral sense -though your morals will guide your PS). These PS will guide and hold you clearly accountable as to what kind of man or woman you are (and have to be) in order to follow through with your commitment of how you want to live.

I'm going to write a second part on this so I can keep this post short -and know that I'm writing a book that will have a lot more to say about PS, but for now consider this: millions of dollars are spent to help people clarify their values whether they are children in school or C-suite executives -but here's the deal, knowing your values might feel good but do they really guide you to living out the life you want? Ahhh, no.

I've worked with thousands of individuals in helping trades who talk 'values' (from clients to coaches, school teachers to therapists) and ain't nobody gonna convince me that clarified values make for long-term achievement or fulfillment.

Values are nice, PS are better. What are your Personal Standards?

Be Good-Don't Compromise,

RR

Are You Living a Potemkin Life?

A Potemkin village is phrase based on a historical myth. Though the experts don't completely agree on the truth of it all, the myth goes like this: Russian Minister (and General) Grigory Potyomkin supposedly built fake villages (facades only) along a rail line in order to fool and impress Catherine II -Empress of Russia as she was touring the area, some time around 1787.

Grig's apparent motive was to have Cathy think that he'd conquered some pretty awesome territory and that he was actually a pretty savvy, powerful and all around nifty guy. I wonder how it all worked out.

Well, aren't we guilty of the same thing sometimes? Can't we be guilty of living Potemkin lives where we act one way but our authentic identity (true self) is someone different?

You know, we suffer so much as we try to keep the charade up. You know, we experience so much peace when we accept who we are and let the chips fall where they may.

People are demanding authenticity from everyone and everything these days...Be Uncompromised -demand it from yourself.

RR

Inspired by Insanity

Insanity is a relatively new DVD workout program but it's more.

Look, at our best, we all want to be great, know we're stretching and achieving. In order to do that we need a good plan, we need to get off our soft-sides and we need someone who believes in us deeply -sometimes more than we believe in ourselves.

Shaun T not only puts together an incredible workout program (Insanity) which I'm being both broken and built better by, but he engages me, believes in me and demands more of me. He wants me to mind my form and won't let me compromise what I'm capable of. If this man can pull this off on DVD, I'd like to meet him for real.

Hey, who is your Shaun T? Who is there for you -to both comfort you and expect more from you, for the sake of you being something better?

Man, I can't wait to pop that DVD in today, get my Shaun T hit, then sweat, hurt and believe in me -'cause I survived another challenge, another day.

Grrrr,

RR

When Really Good Isn't Really Good Enough

We've all met, worked with, been employed by or employed people who are good at what they do but have a passion or talent beyond what they are making their life's work.

How do we engage with people who you know are settling? What do you say to the person who you know is compromising and letting a great life slip away because a really good one is happening now?

It's funny to think that the answer to your question will probably speak pretty loudly to your loyalty, commitment and more -your own capacity to settle and compromise -In this case a potentially great and faithful relationship is excused to make room for a a really good or even a merely decent relationship. Too bad.

How do you compromise your relationships? What are you making more important than that person's fulfillment?

RR

The Agony of Compromise

Does Compromise ever feel good?

At the bottom of a dish of ice cream, that you said you wouldn't eat...

When you lay your head down, another night, -having skipped out on doing something you knew you should...

When you say something to someone, just to get to them...

When you bitch about your job then declare that you only have 11 more years...

You have compromised YOU. It's nothing short of betrayal...

It's funny, in the moment, administering the medication of mint chocolate chip to your wounds feels reasonable. Performing busy work to provide a 'reasonable' excuse why you don't have the life you want, seems understandable. Really, in those brief but powerful moments you know your self to be full of it -and with enough of this, and in the end it will be a bitter taste you will live and die with.

Honestly looking at what you are choosing to do with your time, money, energy, body, etc. is the place to start wen you want to live as The Uncompromised. Stop thinking so much and decide what you really, really want. Write it down. Finally, Do Something. Anything...but be in action, learn, adjust the plan and do more.

Don't Compromise. Be Great. Go do something.

RR

Fishing in the Rocks

I don't know whether I was exercising a particular wisdom or just lucky but I caught 3 fish in 45 minutes while the two experienced fishermen caught none in two hours. What do you think?

I was on vacation (and some work) in Myrtle Beach, SC with my family and decided to take my boys (5 and 6 1/2) fishing. Enthusiastically we paid, took our frozen shrimp and our 'gear' to the end of Pier 14 to 'fish'. I honestly didn't intend on catching anything but thought it would just be fun for the boys to try and me to, well, try!

We met a couple of guys in their 50's who'd been fishing for quite some time, as they later -and clearly pointed out. I'd been just casting my line as far out as I could go in any direction when one my line got stuck and of the guys told me there was a long stone wall that went from the beach way out to sea just under the water. The message was clear, 'Don't cast in that direction, you'll lose your lure.'

Well my coaching mind (and contrarian spirit!) was awoken! I thought something like, 'Hey, it's in the rocks, the challenges and seemingly risky/dangerous times where the fruit of life is so often found!' So for the next 45 minutes I cast only toward the rocks.

I did the best I could to keep the bait moving so it wouldn't sink too low and settle in the rocks and get caught -again. Well three fish -and 45 minutes later, I thought this little story was worth sharing.

I fully accept that I'm no fisherman and what happened could have been luck (any fishermen out there?) but then again doesn't life experience tell us that there is a lot more going on in the 'fray' than in the open water?

RR