Ron Renaud's Blog

Stop Thinking

2011-08-08T06:05:00.001-07:00

Bill Gove, often considered the father of professional speaking in the US, said something that is worth tattooing on your arm--where you can see it!

He said: It's easier to act yourself into good thinking than it is to think yourself into good action.

This is completely contrary to what most of us have learned and contrary to where the masses, who do wish for more in thier lives, start. The power of positive thinking is immense and we ought to have clear intentions and work to think our way through challenges and hash out plans but...

Most people get held up in their lives by thinking forever—or until they essentially give up and just stop thinking about the life they want altogether. So sad. You and I need to do the opposite of what the hoi poloi do.

Mostly, all you need to do is what you already know. Be Faithful. Be faithful to what it is you do, the roles you have in your life and what you know must be done. Do what you know and do your best…your thoughts will change when you change what you do.

If only you'd do what we know you could change your world. Stop thinking things through and do what you know. Do what's scary. Do what others think is outrageous. Do it now! Call mom. Go to the county clerk's office and start your business. Throw the cigarettes in the trash. Wake up at 5am tomorrow. Do something!

Unfortunately, most will hide in alleged thought and instead engage in some watered-down nonsense activity that creates comfort in the moment and more pain later. You see, avoiding action or taking compromised action (kicking up dust) might keep those around you fooled but it also keeps you from your promise--your potential, your legacy. It bears an expense on your very soul. You know you're not doing your best, you know you're avoiding the rest of your life and you know you’re letting the best of you rot while you’re still alive.

Stop thinking and do something, now!

Don’t Compromise,

You Can't Go Right From Wrong

2011-08-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

What do you do if you’re typing along and see that you’ve misspelled a word? You recognize it and fix it. You back up to where the wrong letter is and you delete it. You eliminate if from the word you’re looking to have convey an idea that seems worth your time to even express.

Why? Because you can’t spell a word right using a wrong letter. Is the expression of your life worth less relative energy, thought and commitment than you give to a written communication?

First: Recognize the wrong (or what isn’t working) in your life.

Second: Eradicate that wrong (or stupid/destructive behavior) by replacing it with what it’ll take to get you to express what you really want in your life.

Third: Enjoy the benefits of right living.

Repeat.

PS Or you can make it more difficult, time consuming and life defining.

Success Is Really Simple

2011-08-01T03:49:00.000-07:00

I was at Saratoga Race Track yesterday during a picture-perfect day in terms of weather, the presence of family and lots of friendly people. It really is a great place to spend a summer day.

How did I do? I didn't lose a dollar! I also didn't wager one. I don't enjoy losing money so...

Anyway, it really struck me how simple success is. It's a choice to do the simple, the common sense thing--even the mundane. Yes I watched and enjoyed some races yesterday, and I also enjoyed watching people do what successful people do, while others take took the road of easy compromise--and that which makes themselves and others suffer.

With utter fascination, I watched people shred and then discard their losing tickets on the ground--as they walk by a garbage cans! While fifteen feet away I could see others clean up after themselves as well as others who'd done the trashing!

Success isn't a mystery.

Getting what you want isn't from following a complex series of steps.

Success isn't luck or an accident.

If only we'd just do what we know...

If only we'd be faithful to the plans we'd laid for ourselves...

Compromise is easy.

Easy-living is a choice.

The Uncompromised live a fulfillment that those who live by easy compromise, don't even really believe exists.

Believe act accordingly.

Taking Leave Because I Left?

2011-07-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

What in the hell happens??

I'm in NYC teaching a group of rock-star coaches. I've got to meet a business associate at 7:15 am each morning. If I'm going to workout, as I do each day at home, I have to do it at 5 am (which I normally don't do!) so I can hit my other obligations. Fair enough.

Why then, when I'm traveling and that alarm goes off, do I feel so justified in not needing to do what is so matter-of-fact at home? I start to negotiate with myself based on my prior decision to get up, work out and...and live according to my consciously designed plan for what I want in my life!

"You're tired."

"One day won't matter."

"The rest will actually build your strength for tomorrow's workout." --Gotta like that one!

You know how it goes.

Negotiating with yourself when you're "intoxicated" by stress, fear, fatigue--"under the influence", whether it's via some substance or strong emotion, is a scam and a dangerous way to make decisions about your life. But we all do it.

But what about you? Under what circumstances do you find yourself renegotiating good decisions that you'd made in "sobriety" and instead considering things, lifestyles, options, etc. that are nothing more than pure compromise with a momentarily strong PR campaign--and certainly not anything you'd choose when you're at your best?

Soberly,

The Uncompromised Rest

2011-07-25T03:28:00.000-07:00

"It's easy to be hard; it's hard to be smart." the saying goes.

It's easy to drive yourself physically and not rest if there is so much to do. And there always is.

It's easy to think and think about your business and your plans and...and be on it all of the time. There is so much that requires your attention.

It's easy to always be learning and growing. It's the only lifestyle option you can see. You're either growing or dying, right??

Sometimes it's hard for the person committed to The Uncompromised version of their lives to slow, do downshift for a time. They see it as relaxing their standards. Life is all about seasons and cycles; rest is one of those cycles.

Maybe Monday is a perfect day to learn this lesson. Maybe Monday is the perfect day to not get in the fray but to instead sharpen yourself by taking the day off-no planning, no lamenting, no searching, no strategizing, no! Just shutting it down...

The Uncompromised respect the seasons in life.

Be your inheritance-The Uncompromised.

The Great American "Survivalist"

2011-07-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

You'd think we were on a trek across the Serengeti the way they packed provisions for the long journey. Food rations and beverages to include sports drinks to replace lost electrolytes and sodium needed for the body's very survival were all in great supply-packed and consumed by those weary travelers as they endured the three-hour journey on a Greyhound bus from Albany, NY to New York City.

You can see this same mentality at work on playgrounds all over America. Moms and dads packing snacks for their kid's refreshment during the grueling 90-minute play-date with the other hungry and parched children.

Don't ever wonder why Americans are overweight. If Johnny can't hit the playground without mommy teaching him that Ritz Crackers and Gatorade are required for his nourishment after 45 minutes of such jungle-gym-toil, then of course, 30 years later he'll find himself on a Greyhound needing the same sustenance during the span that is: after breakfast and before lunch.

Unfortunately, the survivalist mentality that has people doing the above, has them over-dramatize other circumstances in their life as well. When people aren't up to much, everything becomes something to overcome, to deal with, to survive. The Uncompromised have consciously created goals, clear plans and too much invested in their vision to be thrown off by trivial non-issues or self-destructive behavior.

What are you hungry for?

Do Something Useless

2011-07-18T05:42:00.001-07:00

There is a tired, weak, lazy, unambitious and careless part of each of us. Some call the ego, saboteur, demons or (as I say) scammer. I'm not very interested in what you call it but when you have thoughts that try to keep you comfortable, uninspired and immobilized...know what they are and deal with the enemy of The Uncompromised life aggressively.

Now having said that, I've found that there are many ways that top athletes, spiritual legends, and many other achievers have used to slay those voices that crop up to kill their initiative and efforts. One is the tried and true, "Do it NOW!" Do it now, regardless of how uncomfortable, hard or whatever a situation may be.

Let me offer another option used by some of these greats. Commit to doing something, seemingly useless that ruffles the feathers of your scamming inner-critic nonsense. Do it faithfully and do it well.

Set 10 rocks up at one end of your driveway, get up at 3:30 in the morning and methodically pick up one rock at a time and move it carefully, slowly and gingerly to the other end of the driveway. Do this with all 10 and then put them back where they were. Then, at say 3:55-or whenever you're done, go back to sleep.

It makes no sense, it won't directly put money in your pocket or peace in your heart but it will frustrate that voice that hacks away at your ambition and discipline-both of which are required for you to live the life you want.

If you normally like to run for exercise, go for a run on a local beach (at a nearby lake/the ocean) but first cover yourself with sand. No the Navy Seals won't come knocking but the seemingly meaningless and voluntarily created discomfort from the sand and the abrasion (pun intended) to your ego's insatiable desire for comfort will begin to tame the scammer's expectation for constant satisfaction-and as a result, the quality of your commitments and follow-through will grow regardless of the discomfort that comes with any commitment you might make.

You can do the above or something greater or smaller that frustrates the scammer but avail yourself of the power in doing something useless to do something special.

Enough Said,

The Truth Shall Set You Free

2011-07-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

The other day I swung my shed door to close it-but it didn't close all the way. It looked closed but I could tell it wasn't quite closed. As I strode away--aware that I hadn't actually closed it, I began to try to convince myself that I couldn't be sure if the door was really ajar or... When I understood what was happening I became sickened that I was actually conspiring with myself to deny reality and do what was easy in the moment. (not go back and close the door. I know! How much more lazy does it get than that?!)

Food for thought. (No pun intended.)

If you eat crap you'll probably get fat and certainly be unhealthy.

If you don't exercise you'll always find yourself tired and, more than likely, carry extra beef with you.

If you spend your time with the unambitious you'll fail-a lot.

If you don't do what you know, you'll miss the opportunity to become what you could.

If you don't learn to put others first you'll learn what it's like to be miserable.

If you go through life longing for more and different but do only shades of the same, you'll guarantee yourself deep regret.

If you spend more than you earn you'll end up broke.

If you don't read and consider different points of view, you'll not only avoid wisdom--you'll befriend ignorance.

If you don't make your kids feel good when they are around you now, they'll learn to get along without you later.

These are just a few basic realities of life. We can convince ourselves that they aren't so but that has not affect on reality. We can decide we're too busy to address them but as the above reality based Ronald depicts, the realities of life and the realities from compromise and its predictable results will find you.

You are The Uncompromised--act like it.

Reach Out And Touch Someone

2011-07-10T21:51:00.001-07:00

Do You Have a Problem or Challenge? Talk to someone!

It might take one and it might take twenty conversations but if you keep your problems, concerns and challenges to yourself--you keep your problems, concerns and challenges.

You see, its a new perspective from an "outsider", it's the off the wall idea from the one who doesn't see your limitations and it's the missed but obvious answer from the one who isn't emotionally twisted that will advance your thinking, free you from your limitations and move you in your life.

Do this and you'll grow. You'll advance in the area of your prior struggle and as an added bonus you'll honor the people you open up to and grow your relationships as well.

Sheesh, who knew life could be so simple??

Wining is a Habit-So is Losing.

2011-07-05T02:50:00.000-07:00

Life is expectations.

If you expect to win, somehow, most times you will. You'll win because your eyes, mind, ears and your intuition will persistently collaborate together to find opportunities, options and courses of action that others, committed to less than winning (hitting their goals), don't recognize and when they do recognize them, aren't willing to engage.

These are opportunities, options and courses of action that many see but appear too hard, require too much time, emotional, physical and/or financial commitment. To put it bluntly: The one who expects to win-who is willing to stake her/his existence upon a particular outcome will do whatever it takes. They create their quality of life and their legacy from how they choose to live today.

If you expect to lose, somehow, most times you will. You'll lose because your eyes, mind, ears and your intuition will persistently conspire together to find opportunities, options, and courses of action that those who know success, achievement and winning recognize-but deny.

These are the opportunities, options and courses of action that require effort (sometimes hard effort) that appears earnest and sensible, yet ensures defeat. To put it bluntly: The one who expects to lose-who has stake is in losing, must ensure losing to keep his/her reputation as that of a noble struggler. Too much success is a threat since others' expectations are then raised.

There is a vast middle ground, of course, where people spot their expectations, take commensurate action and experience corresponding results.

After reading this you’ll choose anew where to place yourself in life. Will winning or losing be your habit? Perhaps you’ll renew your commitment to some “acceptable” combination.

Time and results will tell.

Be Good – Don’t Compromise,

Don't Feel Guilty, Just Be There

2011-06-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

There is a sad stereotype of the guy or gal who is at work physically but longing to be with his/her kids--then once with the kids s/he is bogged down with thoughts of work and all that goes with it. This is the short of it but can happen between any area of life/thought.

There is a solution. It's called: Faithfulness

(Bear with me as I choose a gender to keep it simple.)

Over time, as our heroine's mind wanders at work to the point where she is no longer able to do the quality of work she knows in her heart and mind she is capable of, she'll make this wandering--this compromise into a habit and begin to medicate by watching the clock, daydreaming, surfing or... Now she's exacerbating the issue. Deep down she knows that she's not living in integrity and it's killing her!

Her demons go to work on her so she questions her worth, her trustworthiness and more.

So she goes home. As she kicks the soccer ball around the backyard with her kids, she's hit by the guilt that she's not getting the job done in her work. As she becomes more distracted by thoughts of her disappointment for not being more present and productive at work, others perceptions of her and her boss' perspective she inadvertently ceases her faithful execution of her role of mommy.

Now that scamming voice will give her hell for not living into her values or doing what she said she would with regards to being present with the kids or...

As she lays her head down at night, she doesn't rest easy as she contemplates her day of distraction. She has closed her day like she started it, compromising it through misallocation of her emotions and thoughts and efforts.

One more assault from the scammer has her questioning her capacity to do anything, to be effective at all that she has to do and...she peters off to sleep.

She might want to blame busyness or some other external force but the fact of the matter is, she needs to be at work when she's there, be with her kids when she is there and be in bed and rest in peace when she is there.

Simplistic? Dude, try again. It's everything. Try and be present at work over some time and then try and come home and consistently be fully present with your kids (or whatever you do post 9-5), try to let it all go and do what you're supposed to do when it's time to sleep.

It's true that it often takes practice to be where you are and be faithful to what you're called to do at any given moment. That doesn't excuse us from our need to do just that--be faithful.

Here Now,

People are Broken or Amazing. You Choose.

2011-06-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

I think people are amazing and capable of remarkable things.

What do you think?

I think people are limited only by their imaginations.

What do you think?

I think people can do just about anything they decide to do.

What do you think?

———————–

If you think people are broken, then you won’t expect them to do amazing things.

Whatever they do–it won’t be enough.

If you think people are broken, you won’t attempt to feed their imaginations with hope and possibility.

You’re teaching them to live your limitations.

If you think people are broken, you’ll not expect them to do anything much.

So you’ll just wait for them to disappoint (again).

Reality Zone:

People will disappoint you.
People will forget to dream or give-up on dreaming.
People will make foolish decisions.

It’s how we see and engage them in the face of these realities that matters. Because as we each know, all too well, we can only control ourselves. But it’s in our ability to control ourselves that we can not only change our own lives, but inspire change in others as well! The Uncompromised in our world speak to the best in people (king/queen) and as a result bring out the best in those they touch.

Be Good – Don’t Compromise,

It's All Application

2011-06-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

Who cares what you know if you won't do something with it?

Applied knowledge is wisdom.

Ignored knowledge is destructive.

Denied knowledge is stupidity.

Since the problem in life is very rarely that we lack information, you can see the above three options for your choice in how to engage your life.

Doing Something,

Using My Own Words

2011-06-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've been teaching about thirty-five men in a program called Freedom Academy for a few months now. It's a program designed to help men who've suffered addiction (and all of the collateral damage) through a recovery process--I'm there teaching from my book, The Uncompromised.

Just a couple of days ago I raised the bar. "We're looking beyond "staying clean". We're looking at what you really want, what your big dreams are and we're going to get busy creating plans to make it all happen. None of this feeling good as you think about living how you want. We're going to go to work to actually make it happen."

One guy started us off and I coached him to get clear on what he would actually do to get his dreams out of fantasy land. I was both helping this guy and encouraging others to powerfully and positively engage him so we could get the ball rolling as to how we'd work the next guy--and the next.

I decided to go second and open myself up to them regarding one of my challenges. Next thing I knew 9 different guys were hitting me with what they saw and how I was compromising. Then the coup de grace--a guy raised to speak--and he did.

He spoke humbly for about 20 seconds as he quietly searched through my book. I was pretty sure that he was looking down because was nervous to speak publicly-- and that my book just happened to be in his hands. "Now Ron, you say here in Chapter 15... “…entertaining such thoughts makes your daily life harder while compounding the insanity of feeling like something should be different.” " I started laughing at the irony and the fact that he'd hit the nail on the head concerning the lesson I needed to relearn—using my stuff “against me”!

Humorous and humbling!

Class ended and here I am, reminded to do what I’ve long known.

The truth is, we usually need to learn new things; we need to remember and do what we speak and what we know. Yeah, we'll need to be reminded but if we're lucky--rather, if we're smart, we'll surround ourselves with people who will help remind us of who we are, what we know and subsequently remind us to live accordingly.

Don’t you just wish you knew 35 recovering addicts who are willing to speak the hard truth as they had your back?

In Rigor and Humility,

Not About Weiner

2011-06-16T02:40:00.000-07:00

The recent and current scandal concerning Rep. Anthony Weiner could powerfully open a conversation and firmly establish a point that needs to be recognized in society as a whole. If we miss it--we'll continue down our path of folly, double speak and hypocrisy.

What you do is a reflection of who you are. That is that. Sorry, but reality is actually our friend. Embrace it.

To say that something you do isn't a reflection of who you are is total nonsense--and completely accurate.

Nonsense because you are the thinker and the doer in your life. You are always at choice. Stupid choices come from stupid thoughts and stupid impulses (emotions) in your heart kept alive and fostered over time. I can't believe I have to say this but... If you did it, you did it!

Completely accurate because I do believe that who a person truly is--is amazing. Who someone is is a unique combination of the best qualities possible. Who we are is great. Who you are is an amazing person capable of wonderful things for your good and for the good of others.

Your birthright is greatness.

My Dear Reader, Mr. Weiner and RR:

We stray from that truth. We deceive ourselves and others when we act foolishly. We nurture certain thoughts and feelings that skew our ability to do great things. Not cool but again...reality.

Mr. Weiner, this scandal is about you--yes, but it's also about me and about you, my reader. Will we feed the fool or the king/queen inside our hearts? Will we act from our true nature determined to do good or will we compromise the truth of who we are and act the fool?

Today we will each answer. What will we say?

The Danger of Tribes

2011-06-13T03:15:00.000-07:00

"Tribes" is one of the new words that everyone from marketers to social activists are using. Let's not get all giddy about fitting into a tribe, being a tribe and being lead by a charismatic or insightful creator of a tribe without pausing to think. (Whether that tribe is called a group, committee, team, family, race, religion, psychographic...)

We can't avoid the fact that there are tribes all around us any more than we can avoid our own membership in multiple tribes. We can avoid ignorance in how we engage others inside and outside our tribes if we'll open our eyes to both sides of tribes.

There are pros to tribes. What are some?

You are with people who think like you
You are immersed in traditions, thinking, culture and lessons of those who've "been there".
You get to leverage the ideas and efforts of people on the same page
You can make a big difference in your community and outside of it
"Positive peer pressure" from those who know you

Oh, there are many more, I know.

But we'd be fooling ourselves if we didn't pay attention to the other side. The cons of tribes or of the tribe mentality are:

Arrogance that we get it while they don't
The mentality that the ends justifies the means
Individual personalities, needs and aspirations get lost
Identities (of individuals) are warped as is the menu of possible actions in life based on the identity of the tribe rule the day
People shut their minds off and let the leader do their thinking

Of course there are more here on the con side as well.

The point, though, isn't that tribes are bad. The point is to think. The point is to consciously choose which tribes you belong to and to be aware of the tribes you belong to without your choice (color, heritage...). The point is to be aware of the great benefits and the wonderful possibilities from casual or engaged membership in a tribe as well as the dangers and the pity seemingly inherent in tribes.

MLK Jr. said it all when he spoke of the day when people are judged by the content of their character rather than...(any tribe that separates, divides and sets one against another). Be Good. Be part of that tribe--those committed to being good and doing great in humility.

Be Good - Do Great,

The Monday Mentality Gone Wild

2011-06-07T03:36:00.000-07:00

Everybody is going to start working on something--Monday. Never today, never NOW! It's cliché and it's cliché for a reason.

The problem of course is that people are inspired to excuse themselves from far too many opportunities based on their skewed perceptions of when and what constitutes "good timing". Strung together, these bad decisions to wait, missed opportunities to act and little surrenders of initiative lead to a life of disappointment and forever hibernating dreams.

Let's look at this through the eyes of the sales person with the Monday Mentality.

Summers are like "the big Monday".

People too often think like school children and put off big efforts or new projects for September (think summer break). "I can wait and go after it in September" they say--without actually quite saying that or realizing they've gone into a mental and then practical holding pattern for 2+ months.

The Monday Mentality is more than an event though. It's a toxic way of living which affects everything and everyone around you.

So the year continues...

After the summer--if they can't quite go after it right away, in September, the keeper of the Monday-mentality limps through October, perhaps building a bit of momentum. That brings them to November--and certainly no one does business or gets into a big project around the holidays...better wait until after new years.

And the Monday-mentality is on the loose!

"Okay, let's admit it, everybody knows that sales are really slow in January and February. Let's retool or work on our plans or..."

"Let's be real, late March/early April is Passover and Easter; you don't want to bother people and their families now!"

...and then it's late June again.

There is opportunity--and success in all of its forms available to the woman or man who will stop with fairy tale seasonal excuses and get on with manually crafting their lives--NOW.

The kind of success we all want requires courage and a great dose of enthusiasm and sustained effort. Don't buy the compromise found in fairy tale excuses? You're designed for great stuff...

Ode to Spain's Soccer Team--and us.

2011-06-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

Saturday I went to Foxboro, Mass to see the American national soccer team play Spain's--who, by the way, just won The World Cup.

I'm still shocked at what I saw.

Spain won 4-0. That's not so hard to believe, I guess. What was shocking to me was the ease by which they won. It looked as if they barely broke a sweat while the Americans chased the ball all over the field never possessing it for long.

I was certain it would be a really great game. America's team isn't bad but...

Spain’s players were, almost to the man, masters. And playing like a team they created great results.

Being great as a team and masterful as an individual--and far ahead of the competition (if only your demons) requires:

· A decision to be great
· Caring more about your goal than you do your comfort
· Spending time with people who are better than you at your chosen endeavors
· A decision to never quit

We all have to choose where we’d like to place ourselves on the scale between mediocrity and mastery. Having witnessed the results of years of dedication and resulting dominance, I know I’m capable of more.

And you…? What is it time to stop messing around with and start hitting hard?

Toward Mastery,

Ah, You're Killing Me!

2011-06-02T03:08:00.000-07:00

I'm sure there are armchair psychotherapists out there who'd easily diagnose my psychosis or certain religionists who'd rebuff my intemperance or more patient souls who'd try to assuage my intolerance but if there's one thing that kills me, it's the attitude of "Someday..."

My philosophy is that if you want something, shut up and do something...today. Outrageous, I know.

We need more "Shut up and do..." in our culture and less "Someday when..." (not to mention passive listening to people and their fantasies)! Don't even tell me about the job you aspire to have, the children's program you intend to set up or the weight you want to lose. Don't even...unless you intend on being seen as someone capable of living that ambition and then being challenged to act according with your desire and capacity.

Is that wrong of me?

Most people, upon gentle but clear encouragement offer a polite decline of my request that they actually do something to move their plan ahead. It goes like this:

Ron: Dude, that's awesome! There are ton's of kids who'd benefit from your wisdom! Soooo, when will you go ahead and start teaching those courses? What do you have to do to make that happen?

Dude: Uh, well that's great. Thanks, yeah, there are lots of kids who can use this sort of thing and...

Ron: Yeah... Totally! So, what can you do to make this thing a reality?

Dude: Well, I've spoken to Jane and planted some seeds with Craig but you know it's difficult today because...

Then with a frozen smile and eyes bugging out of my head, my mind races as to how I can/should engage this person further. Do they really want support or do they really want a witness who encourages feel-good from indulging in the fantasy?

Spare me...no, spare yourself and your own heart! Don't utter a word out loud concerning your desires unless you intend on following through and actually doing with that which you want!

Psssst. By the way, if you'll be careful with your words--and speak only according to what you intend on following through on--it'll turn out to be that same care which will afford your dreams their proper respect and ultimate fulfillment.

Shutting Up,

"Dose are Nunn Bush, Mon!"

2011-05-31T02:52:00.000-07:00

Fifteen years ago I thought my path lay in acting. So for three days each week--for about six months, until I realized that I didn't want that life, I'd take the train, bus or drive to NYC for auditions and classes. I lived three hours away. You wanna talk about long days of travel, rejection and confusion...

Though I'd find out clearly one day (that's a different story!) that doing the NYC starving-actor thing wasn't for me, I walked away with a slew of memories and unique stories. Remind me to tell you more another time but for now...

One day, while I was frightened beyond my capacity in "putting myself out there" and "trying to be seen", I ducked into one of 10,000 shoe stores in Manhattan. Hoping to get a pair of something conservative yet stylish, I tried on several pair and found that nothing was fitting. The shoe salesman was getting visibly frustrated with me. He was doing a performance of his own, holding his head in his hands, shrugging in amazement and breathing like an old steam radiator--from Jamaica.

As insecure as I was, I still knew that it was up to them to produce a pair of shoes that fit me, not for me to produce feet that filled their shoes. Nonetheless, I confess that felt like a fool with a gaggle of other shoe salesmen hanging around this empty store--watching their colleague working overtime with me, the customer who wouldn't just buy some shoes.

This had to end. I resolved (under almost intolerable pressure from the whole situation) that if these shoes were even reasonably comfortable, I'd buy them. Finally the chubby, frustrated Jamaican dude brings me over one more pair of shoes--that by his taunting posture and arrogant way of offering them to me, let me realize that I was now holding the finest shoe he could produce...the one pair that no man could deny. As soon as I put one on, I knew!

More crap! Could they gouge my feet in more places?! Looming over me with a face like Dirty Harry's saying, "I dare you not to like and buy these, punk" I looked up shaking my head and said, "...no, they hurt my feet". Exasperated, he attempted a final coup de gras!

Shaking his head in disbelief while raising his hands to the heavens, he called out for all to hear, "Dose are Nunn Bush, Mon!"

Dude!

What in the hell does them being Nunn Bush have to do with anything?! If they are killing my feet should I feel better because people will see what I'm wearing as I'm limping down Park Ave?

Likewise if your attitude sucks, your workmanship is mediocre or you're unable to deliver on the promise of your service--who cares how cute you are, how fancy your site is or how assertively you speak?

Let who you are do the talking.

Until

2011-05-23T04:15:00.000-07:00

You started that project for a reason.

You declared your ambition because you wanted something.

Using good judgement, you made a decision.

One little word will shape your entire destiny: until.

"I will try" becomes "I will until."

You can't sort of go the distance. If you want what you say you want, want until...

Don't Compromise,

I've Been Struggling

2011-05-12T03:27:00.000-07:00

"I wrote a book! What's the deal?! I wrote pages about "enthusiasm" but I can't write 500 words about it now?!"

This, plus out and out avoiding writing, left me without the needed copy for my new website. "I know! I'll take RonRenaud.com down and that will press me to finish!" No good...didn't work.

"Wait, I'll rehire my editor now (before I've written much) so I can put myself on a deadline." Still, I wasn't able to write anything very coherent.

Through this time, I've been upset by a professional relationship that has not been right. Full of failed expectations, disappointed hopes and frustrated deadlines until at last (add image of parting clouds, rays of blinding sun and the sound of a heavenly chorus of angels singing), a conversation. It was a conversation that spoke hard truths from both sides, was made safe by plenty of compassion and fortified by rigorous expectations for future work.

This conversation re-established a more powerful alliance than ever had been. Amazingly (or not) I was immediately inspired and focused. The newly resurrected trust spurred my lagging desire to write as well as awoke my dormant creativity. ...and boy did I write.

It was such a striking and visceral example of when something just isn't working in our lives, we can't just pretend all is fine or avoid the issue. Everything affects everything.

The point isn't that things ought to be perfect or that we should just press on despite challenges but, with a touch of elegance perhaps, recognize that we need to deal with ourselves, others and circumstances honestly. It's our willingness to see, speak and live with the truth that allows us to do something powerful with "what is" as we're working to make things better for ourselves and others.

A Valid Question...or Two

2011-05-09T03:13:00.000-07:00

In checking out this blog today, what did you hope to find?

Did you hope to be inspired?

Were you looking for a bit of wisdom to consider for the day?

What you want, lies within you.

Speak your wisdom aloud, now!

Do something today that inspires even yourself.

...and it's still wisdom.

2011-05-05T02:24:00.000-07:00

If Charles Manson tells you that 2 + 2 = 4, would you believe him?

If North Korea's Kim Jong Il told you that The Age of Reason, a book by Thomas Paine, was written as an attack on the claims of religion and the legitimacy of the Bible, would his statement be untrue?

Because your favorite reporter, your most adored politician, most loved professor--because your mother, best friend or trusted pastor, rabbi or imam says y is the best policy, peace is necessary through x or that "we" are better or "they" are different or...will it make that assertion true?

Wisdom is wisdom and truth is truth--regardless of its source. Likewise foolishness, folly, ignorance and deceit are each what they are regardless of our affection for their source.

We each need to search for and discover truth and wisdom for ourselves, only then can we possess it and live through it. If we don't get it for ourselves, what we do get won't be wisdom at all. And in fact will have a lot more pain and repeated errors than necessary.

Since you can't borrow wisdom from another and the alternatives to wisdom are frightful (ignorance, blindness, victimhood...), let's each consider what we know and how we know it--and endeavor to be hungry for wisdom.

Uncompromisingly Yours,

What is Justice?

2011-05-02T08:02:00.000-07:00

Really, there are so many ideas that we can't avoid engaging. Justice is one of them.

So often we assume what something means, often unconsciously, and then go about the business of life as if it were accepted fact and those who disagree with us are somehow missing something. Are they?

First things first, let's get clear about this universal idea that's reflected in our every thought and action--including everyone else's too!

We all want justice; but what is justice?

Justice is a doctrine of fairness or right.

We always feel justified in our thoughts and actions (at least in the moment); but who or what determines what is really justifiable concerning a particular issue at a certain time regarding a specific issue?

Ah, here lies the rub. Unthought out rationale can't help but produce purely inherently selfish justification. Why? Because without considering a higher truth or greater purpose, we all default to justice meaning our being right--our justification. Well, that's not going to work.

Think about the countless religions, philosophies, beliefs and experiences possible in this world and compound it by billions of individual perspectives that both reflect the afore mentioned factors as well as transient moods, the gain of experience (traumatic and pleasurable) and perhaps wisdom, we're going to end up with quite a soup of ideas on what the nuances of justice really are. And subsequently how we relate with one another.

Call me a peace-freak but I'm just idealistic enough to believe that heaven on earth, the kingdom of God, utopia and nirvana is possible, NOW!

I'll propose no answers but I will ask a couple of questions--as I believe new, different, better questions produce awareness, sensitivity and wisdom. From wisdom and sensitivity come better conversations and better solutions to problems within ourselves, with our families and with the nation 10,000 miles away.

What is just? What is right?

How can you know?

How can that be verified?

What is the virtuous and wise application of what you understand to be just?

How would you know if you're right? How would you know if you were wrong?

Justifiably Yours,

How many dreams...?

2011-04-28T04:37:00.000-07:00

How many dreams have been delayed by one more edit?

How many dreams have been lost by poor planning?

How many dreams have been dashed upon the rocks of reality that should have been considered sooner?

How many dreams have been shrouded behind the pal of insecurity?

How many dreams have been fatally wounded by critics whose ignorance and shortsightedness multiplies by the hour?

------

How many dreams have become reality through said dreamer's faithful enthusiasm?

How many dreams owe their existence in the world of "actual reality" to the courage of one to do what others wouldn't?

How many dreams--now fulfilled, cascade their abundance upon the one who labors with endurance (consistency and sustainability)?

How many dreams can resist the power of one who lives with integrity?

How many dreams have been resurrected by a willingness to do something?

Since we know what kills dreams and what births and sustains them--let's each choose to not be fools (persistent learners of the same lessons in the same scenarios) but to instead follow the wisdom of The Uncompromised and do something, something special, with what we've got.

Okay?

Mondays That Never Come

2011-04-26T06:10:00.000-07:00

I just was on the phone with a client who impressed me so much. Her choice was a simple one but it's an example of the kind of choice that shapes the lives of The Uncompromised.

Many of you who know me, know that I've done the Insanity 60-day workout and that I rave about how great it is, the results I got and how it made me feel. I've told so many people about Insanity, I joke that I ought to be earning a commission on the number of people I've gotten to buy it.

Enter client X. Upon hearing one of my Insanity rants (no pun intended) she quietly decided to purchase it. On the Insanity calendar and in most people's minds, day one is Monday. That is...unless you really want what you open your mouth and profess.

What if you get the DVD's on Wednesday? Should you continue to eat as you have, put your first workout day in your calendar for Monday and then tread water for five days? That's one plan. But of course there is no magic in Monday--and for too many the Monday mentality is a poison, as too often Monday never comes.

How about this? Client gets DVD's and starts.

When? Saturday?

Why? Because she has integrity concerning her vision.

There, not only is no power in Monday, but is amazing power bound up in acting on the opportunity today. It's Tuesday; you are The Uncompromised. What will you do?

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

Decisive or Impulsive

2011-04-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to figure this one out. Trying to be decisive, I know I've been impulsive. There is a difference because I know I've experienced different results from making swift decisions--which both words connote.

I definitely want to be one of those alluring and inspiring people we've each experienced or seen who sums up a situation and responds with the right amount of power. They're gentle and compassionate when required; they're assertive and precise when those qualities are required.

Looking "impulsive" up in the dictionary, I found the key. Impulsiveness is a quick decision that isn't well thought out (ill-considered). Fine. But I don't have all day to think things out if I'm trying to be decisive!

Ahh, but that's the point. Think! Think about various scenarios, think about why you do any thing specifically and many things in general. Know why you do what you do. Think about these things before the heat is turned up. JFK said, "The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining."

It's in knowing what we believe and "why" that helps us move from quick ignorance (impulsiveness) to decisiveness.

Decidedly Yours,

Interruption or Opportunity?

2011-04-11T07:04:00.001-07:00

Here she comes...the old lady next door wants to talk--you're just trying to do some work in your yard.

Not NOW! A school bus pulls out just ahead of you--now you're stopping every 100 yards for a quarter mile local tour of your neighborhood.

The list could go on of course but it's instructive to think that we call these things interruptions.

Really? What got interrupted?? Your plan? Somewhere along the line we buy into the notion that our plan is the plan and then we become frustrated and less than our best when our plan is interrupted. Silly rabbit...

No. Your plan is your plan and then there are another 7 billion other plans.

At the risk of being all chipper-personal-growthy on you. Your choice is to see reality and accept the unexpected as an opportunity to bring more of what you want into the world or you can deny reality (not a good plan), think you are the center point of time and history, continue to be frustrated by people and their thinking that their plans matter.

I'm just saying...

A Blog About Fajitas?

2011-04-11T04:08:00.000-07:00

Is "fajitas" Spanish for "make your own burrito"?

I don't want to make my own burritos. But man I keep ordering fajitas when I go to Mexican places. I can't help it; I like them.

I want steak, fried onions/peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and that nifty sauce. But I don't want to have to do the math required to properly divide up the resources (previously mentioned) so I don't end up starring at an empty hot plate and three soft tortilla shells.

I'm not quite sure what the connection between this touch of inspiration and a personal growth message would be. Let me see what I've got though...

Why don't I simply ask for three steak steak soft tacos with onions, peppers, diced tomatoes, guacamole and nifty sauce? Why do I keep putting myself in this bind of missing dinner time conversations as I do long division on a sizzling plate that some dude is compelled to tell me is hot?

Hey, I know! I could actually ask for what I want. Why continue to damn myself to do math and the manual labor necessary to properly ration my foodstuffs?

Okay, motion carried. Asking for what I want is a good thing and worth trying. I'll be dining on Mexican Wednesday night and commit to ending the insanity.

Thanks for the therapy.

Since Your Mind is Democratic...

2011-04-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

Majority rules! Say that and most people would shout some version of, "Amen!" or "Of course!"

Would it change your thinking if I told that America isn't a democracy?

Would it change your mind if I told you that James Madison, known as the Father of the Constitution, had this to say about democracy: Hence it is that democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their deaths.

A democracy is two wolves and one sheep deciding what is for dinner. No security, no higher principle and no natural freedom to appeal to in a democracy when 51% can be swayed and bind 100% of the population.

On the other hand, our minds are an awful lot like a democracy in that what we most think about, we become. If you want to change you need increase the volume and enthusiasm of those thoughts that reflect the best of you and your dreams and goals.

Wow, Ron! Interesting and informative!

Thanks,

The Dabbler's Lament

2011-04-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

A paragon of endurance, Mother Teresa labored in the gut of Calcutta for decades giving everything she had to help the "poorest of the poor". She held the hands of lepers, applied medication to open maggot-infested wounds of the dying and held the skeleton-bodies of broken infants as they left this life.

She didn't seek attention, she avoided it as it took her from her what she knew to be most important: expressing love to all those who society was mindful to forget. The world sought her.

The dabbler's lament is elusive fulfillment. He knows that he ought to do things, whether for others or even himself, but he doesn't think in terms of self-sacrifice except as it serves his more immediate purpose. That purpose might be recognition to feel a sense of value, pity so as to dismiss his responsibility, guilt to better control another or the perpetuation of an image that needs occasional maintenance.

Having lost a sense of "mission", the dabbler needs to be seen. She survives on consciously created PR campaigns designed to have people see her a certain way. So self-absorbed is the dabbler that she's lost part of her humanity--becoming blind to the needs of those around her.

Chances are, you're neither a Mother Teresa nor a total dabbler. Reflecting on the dabbler's lament and the joyful life of a saint:

Where do you see you need to engage people differently?

Where is your "mission field"?

Though these examples are somewhat black and white...we still are forced to choose and live that shade of gray. I wonder what you'll choose.

Your Servant,

Finding a Hero Amongst the Living

2011-03-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

I like Booker T. Washington, Ben Franklin, Mother Teresa and a slew of other brilliant but long since departed people.

I work to have Washington's dignity.
I study and evaluate myself to gain Franklin's sagacity.
I consistently look to give earnestly and generously so to imitate Mother Teresa's compassion in action.

Someone said to me recently, "You really should have some heroes that are still alive." I was first surprised by the truth of this observation and after I stopped laughing, I asked myself why I don't have any living 'idols'? Well after a couple months of reflection, I have an answer.

Though it doesn't seem really evolved, it was true. I found I was protecting myself from learning that someone I'd admired was really a scoundrel. I didn't want to find that I'd invested any part of myself emotionally in someone who had plenty of time and opportunities left to mess up. I liked the neat and finished product that a dead and revered icon provided.

By unconsciously and exclusively following the dead, I was denying the inspiration that comes in the practice of virtue in the living.

I'm happy to report that I'm appreciating the endurance of Dan Jansen, the perspective of the Dali Lama and the consistency of Ron Paul. I don't have to agree with each person's lifestyle, politics, or anything else. I can admire their application of virtue.

In whom do you see virtue? How will you imitate it today?

Following and Leading,

I'm No Marketing Genius but...

2011-03-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

I wrote a blog a week ago and as always was appreciative to see a comment offered by a reader. As I read it though I busted out laughing at the absurdity of the comment that was left. It said simply, "You are welcome to follow my blog." and then offered the link to his site! I'm withholding the name of the misguided.

His comment offered nothing about me, my impact or my content--he saw a space and filled it with him! It reminded me of networking events I used to attend where there would always be the one dude or chick who would run around connecting with nobody but handing out 13,000 business cards. You know the people that listen just long enough to segue into something about themselves?

Anyway, as I was saying, I'm not a genius about many numbers of things but I do know that if people aren't comfy with you and don't feel heard and/or respected you might as well save the gas and your time and just put your business cards in the garbage and watch Wheel of Fortune--it'll do just about as much to develop your relationships and subsequent business.

You are welcome to follow me on twitter,

Those Darn Deadlines

2011-03-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

You have to have them or you're dabbling in fantasy land.

You have to work hard to hit them or it'll cost you time, money, energy, commitment...

You have to take them seriously otherwise you know the next one won't mean anything.

You have have mercy for yourself when you can't hit them.

You have to not be put off or lay your efforts to rest when you can't quite meet them.

You have to create a new ones and rouse your enthusiasm to hit the next one.

What project or idea is it time to put a deadline on?

Feeling Uninspired

2011-03-21T04:04:00.000-07:00

You know, one of the things that I really like about the personal growth industry is that there is so much good stuff for helping humanity of varying perspectives. Another thing I like is that it's all geared to making whatever is going on better by:

helping people recognize and enjoy what they already have.
helping people to learn to appreciate and find the richness in "now".
helping people find motivation.

Ironically, one of the things that can be so irritating about the personal growth world is its tendency to...always make things better, happy, inspiring...

You know, sometimes I don't want to be inspired. Sometimes, I'm confused and need to regroup. Sometimes I'm uninspired--and trying to manufacture inspiration over a tumult of other feelings can be a rip-off to experiencing other human emotions. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad. Maybe I'm a bit disappointed or lost...uninspired.

There isn't one of us who occasionally lacks inspiration. It's okay. If the there is truth in my words, let them offer permission to you to not be inspired today.

This too is uncompromised.

Doing Something...

2011-03-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

I've come to detest within myself the tendency to talk about, with impotent intention, what I want. I've been saying I want to be fluent in Spanish for 15 years and have heretofore done very little to substantiate my noble sounding professions. I've gotten my "feel good" by telling people and having them say nice things about my capacity and commitment to learn. Talk about compromise...

Enter the Japanese disaster.

After initial sickness over the seemingly never-ending disaster, I felt that same unsettled feeling I got whenever I hyped my desire to speak Spanish. We all get urges. Those who make a difference in their world (personally and globally) do something with what they know and what they know they must do.

There is so much I can't do but what I am doing is a 5k run/walk to benefit the Red Cross' efforts in Japan. What do you know you must you do in your life that you can no longer just talk about?

Doing Something,

Here are the Run for Japan details followed by expectations:

April 2, 2011
10:30 warm up
11am start time
11:30/12 Lunch -we'll figure something out...maybe pizza on the tall-handsome guy.
Boxwood Park (Rotterdam) -right off of I-890 and less than 2 minutes from exit 25 of the NYS Thruway
Goal $50,000. Yes it's an obnoxiously high goal.
Make checks payable to "American Red Cross" and place the words "Japanese Aid" in the memo section. All funds will be directed to the earthquake and Tsunami relief efforts in Japan and the Pacific. Red Cross will send you a receipt for your tax deductible gift.
No cash PLEASE!
If you want to give toward this specific effort for Japan and can't make it--or you have any questions email me at: Ron@RonRenaud.com
Email if you are coming or can reasonably say that you can vouch for x number of others coming. We need to know how many cinnamon rolls will be needed to soothe the famished runner!

Expectations:

This isn't a fancy organized run. It is a run with kindred spirits for the sake of recognizing our own blessings and good fortune while we give of our relative abundance to those who've lost much.

Be bold-dig deep and give as much as you feel compelled to give, no pressure. Well not too much anyway.

There will be no bibs -you're responsible to know who you are at the start and end of the race! That's a joke...

Sorry, no aid stations along the way but my wife and a few friends will be baking so it'll be worth your while to run back to where you started!

Winners? When you contribute to the betterment of another you win. You are cordially invited to come and win!

This isn't an event sanctioned by any running governing body. It's a 5k route that I've measured out with my car and regularly run with a pal--Scott, if you must know.

Please tell anyone and everyone you know! Let's do something special.

Peace,

We Hold These Truths...

2011-03-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that...

This is how the second paragraph of America's extraordinarily compelling Declaration of Independence begins. Self-evident means that something is so obviously true that it doesn't need further explanation such as the proposition that all men (people) are created equal.

We don't use this kind of language these days. Too bad. When one deems something as self-evident, presumably they've got compelling reasons that prove it so.

What do you know that is beyond perspective, beyond a deep feeling and beyond even beyond question?

Here are a few on my list to get you thinking:

We all have a feeling (regardless of how we engage or avoid it) deep down that we are meant for something great.
All people are equal in the sense that they deserve equality and fairness as to how the are treated by their fellow man/woman.
People separate themselves from others by how they grow themselves to include their intentions and efforts--making them unequal in terms of their skills and value to the marketplace or society in general.
The above self-evident truths are okay and don't require acts or thoughts of hostility toward either the one committed to furthering him/herself or the one who chooses to live passively.
Regardless of your demographic you deserve to be treated with respect.
Kind words and humility are more powerful than swords and arrogance.

What are some self-evident truths, that you see, that are worth identifying?

The Folly of More

2011-03-10T03:07:00.000-08:00

I'm not a big Sheryl Crow fan but she has one line in one song that I really like: It's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got.

That's good stuff.

We tend, even if subtly, to want for the new car, a nicer body, more money, a more fitting spouse, another helping of food, a different feeling inside and the list goes on.

The reality is that the hole, that has you unsatisfied with what you've already got, will be there--more powerfully mind you, when your sexy body is enjoying another slice of pizza driving the new Audi alongside your perfect mate.

You don't soothe for long or really help a spoiled kid by giving him a new game for his PS2. You exacerbate the problem.

Go! Earn a lot of money, accumulate--whatever! But first work to change your heart and learn to be full of gratitude and appreciation for what you already have. You might just find your 'needs' changing too.

Peace,

What To Do With A Crappy Blog Post

2011-03-07T03:14:00.000-08:00

I think there are some greater life lessons in here. I bet you are a big enough boy or girl to extrapolate them.

If you write in a circle and can't unknot it... delete it.

If you don't know what you are writing and end up confusing yourself... stop and figure out what in the world you're trying to say.

If you're ready to press "publish" on a mediocre post... don't.

If you are trying to impress someone as you write... pause and let that go.

If you are busy trying to get your needs met as you write... call your mommy -then finish your post.

Just a Thought or Two,

PS Where did the idea for this post come? The convoluted and wanna-be-profound post I wrote and deleted just prior to breathing this one out.

Sometimes You Have To Get It To Get It

2011-03-04T06:09:00.000-08:00

42 floors, 809 steps, 100% effort until you collapse... Who wouldn't want to climb the Corning Tower? Once each year the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation (CFF) puts the Corning Tower race on to benefit the people who are suffering with Cystic Fibrosis.

I'd done it two times prior to this year because, as the cliché goes: it was there. As I signed up, wrote a check to the CFF and scheduled it in my calendar I got thinking that I didn't even know what in the world CF was.

I read about it and became upset as I thought about how people suffer so. Well days, weeks and my upset quickly passed and last night was the race. I don't know my time but let me just say, I never stopped and climbed as fast as I could go. Good job, Ron! Thanks.

When I reached the top I staggered to an open space, collapsed onto my hands and knees and struggled for my breath for about 5 minutes. The dust (and ???) in the stairwells gets deep into people's lungs as they exert and creates havoc for for the competitors trying to breathe for a few hours to a few days after.

On my hands and knees, literally gasping for air, for those few minutes-I got it. CF creates severe symptoms including lung infections that make breathing difficult...oftentimes unto death. I knew I'd recover in minutes. Many will never recover.

Some runners will have just enjoyed their time, some will give more to CFF in hopes of a cure. Both are fine. I'm grateful that I was forced to pause-and in that moment connect a bit deeper, through my temporary suffering, with my own humanity and with those whose suffering will not subside so quickly.

Grateful for Health,

Axioms

2011-02-27T18:02:00.000-08:00

There are a few axioms that I try to live by. This list is not exhaustive by any means but it's a good list.

These are mine; if you like these, adopt them as your own. If you don't like them, change them to fit your understanding of wise living. If you're too lazy to do either, well, don't be surprised by the poor or haphazard results your life produces.

Rarely is haste the key to success.
Busy yourself in work so honorably and vigorously that you haven’t time to bother with others’ approval.
People are more important than projects.
The pain of discipline or the pain of regret…you will choose.
Retire when you expire.

You are capable of great things-you are The Uncompromised! If you're to live out that potential, you'll need to get clear about what you know.

What self-evident propostions do you live by?

Compromise is a Slippery Slope

2011-02-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

It's easy to eat one more piece of pizza or drink one more glass of wine.

It's easy to bypass today's exercise program or avoid the hard thing on your list.

It's easy to start Monday or prepare to get ready to make a plan.

The problem with compromising what you say you want or what you know you need to do is that it becomes a habit, it indulges a weaker part of you and it tears down the life you could be enjoying.

The benefit of integrity is another good night's sleep, few regrets and a life of fulfillment and maximum positive impact on the world.

Secure the sound footing of integrity. Leave compromise for someone else.

How to Come Out of Hiding

2011-02-09T08:17:00.001-08:00

My last post talked about people's proclivity to hideout and avoid working too hard, whether consciously or unconsciously, by doing things that look or even feel important but bear little fruit.

I got a couple of requests from readers asking, "How does somebody come out of hiding?"

Coming out of hiding...

Like most things it's more simple than we make it. So let's not get caught up (or hide) in working too hard to say what we already know.

Take a look around and notice what you are doing.
Get curious and rigorous; is what you are doing now what you want/need to be doing as you consider your goals?
Get help. Ask people for their help in discerning what you need to do to get where you're going.
Stop messing around. Whether from the help you received or upon your own review, when you know what you know, DO SOMETHING!
Be prepared for failure, learning and more and wiser action.
Be prepared for success and the need for more activity.
Be aware of nifty-sounding reasons to do something that is more about hiding than going after what you want.
Keep moving.

Of course this isn't exhaustive and misses the nuances of your situation but the main points shouldn't be missed. Be honest and willing to see truth, learn and do based on what you know.

Hiding is compromise of you at your best. That's not cool.

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

Oh the Humility!

2011-02-08T13:16:00.001-08:00

Sometime in early November 2010 I wrote an email to Chris Brogan, a dude that I like/respect because he seems pretty darn real and yet a big-time rock star in the social media world.

Well, on a whim I decided, "I'm really cool myself. This dude should know who I am!" So I sent him an email; I hoped to create a connection.

Fine.

Well, as this wasn't a concerted action, more of a throw spaghetti against the wall deal, I completely forgot that I sent the email at all.

About two weeks later I received this:

---------

Howdy Ron,

You wrote:

"Son of a...! My email box is so full of your great posts/blogs that I can't keep up. Seriously, your stuff rocks and is so informative, real and immediately helpful. I can't delete one until I've read it and understand what you're saying.

----------

Well I became giddy! I thought something to the effect of, "First of all, this guy sounds just like me when he writes. Dude, thinks my stuff is good!!! Well, my posts are really real and I do try to be helpful. Wow, what cool feedback from a guy who really knows!!!!"

I not only failed to read the part that says, "You wrote:" but also missed the fact that it sounded so much like me because it was me! The "you" in "You wrote" was me!!! I wrote!

I went from puffed up with pride to quite humble...and amused in about .34 seconds!

Lessons? Gosh, I don't know... Read what you're reading? Recognize your own writing?

I don't know what to say except that I'm still laughing at myself...

Hiding in the Inbox

2011-02-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

People find 100 different ways to avoid doing what they must do if their lives are to be what they say they want them to be. What are your hideouts?

I remember, when I first got into business for myself, I ate...a lot! I didn't know how to be in business, I didn't know how to be responsible for my time -bottom line: I didn't know what to do and when I did, I lacked the courage to do it. So I ate.

I distinctly remember talking myself into the idea that I had to have a peanut butter sandwich so I had the energy to make some phone calls. As I sat in my kitchen eating, I realized that I was being a poser. I wasn't in business; I was kicking up dust to look like I was handling something necessary in a entrepreneur's day (eating).

I've got a couple important pieces of writing to do today...not to mention a couple of decisions I need to make -off I went to manage some emails! I caught myself pretty quickly and got to thinking how else do I make my actions look good but fail to follow through on what I know I actually have to do to live what I want.

Well I'll think more about that later but now, now I have a few things I've committed to that need my time. And you? What's your hideout?

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

What is it...?

2011-02-01T03:52:00.000-08:00

I'm doing a run that will benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in a month in Albany, NY. Nothing too exciting there. There are races that are run all of the time that benefit some worthy organization -as the CFF is.

This run is to the top of the Corning Tower, Albany's tallest building...42 floors and 809 steps. I woke up this morning wondering why I'm doing it. Sure, I generated some money for CFF but that isn't where I was looking this morning.

Why do I, and really many thousands around the world, do such events? The best answer I can come up with is to satisfy my competitive urge. Though I'm only racing me at this point, I guess I want to see what I've got in terms of my physical strength. But more...for me it's a test.

The test is mental. How hard am I willing to work for what I say I want? How much pain physically and more -mental discomfort am I willing to endure as I head toward what I want?

For me these events focus my mind and check my resolve. I know (as I'm sure many of the other competitors do) on the drive home if I did my best or if my sweat and tired walk provide a performance for me -and those who see me- to hide the fact that I didn't really perform when it mattered.

So maybe I race to check that I'm alive and engaged rather than "phoning it in" or posing.

What is your diagnostic tool to check on you?

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

Patience and Polishing

2011-01-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

I used to be a mason. I laid brick and stone; I plastered and poured concrete. It was messy, hard and sometimes downright painful work.

I remember though, that there would be occasions where I'd come 'out of the field' (off a job site) and into the workshop to do some more, fine work. One of the things I did occasionally was polish a stone countertop or the like.

Without giving a lesson on stone polishing, let me say this: It was fun, dignifying and very difficult in a different way. Working on yourself is like polishing a piece of stone.

The essence of polishing a piece of stone is that you have to use ever-decreasingly abrasive materials while increasing the speed of application so you can smooth and reveal the true color and shine in a stone -its identity of sorts.

Being the craftsman selected felt great but following through on the expectation of the finished product demanded dedication to a very high standard of quality and consistency not to mention the strength and persistence to carry out the task.

Isn't that like life?

Here you are the craftsman or craftswoman. Will you hold a high standard and patiently exert your strength and will to reveal your identity -the best of who you are?

Affectionately Bonded,

Although It's Been Said Many Times, Many Ways...

2011-01-24T10:40:00.000-08:00

Paralysis by analysis.

Just do it.

Do it now.

The early bird catches the worm.

Don't wait for your ship to come in; swim out to get it.

Ow. I get it...stop thinking and do!

Well I was doing P90X today -man you just have to appreciate the good stuff they put out- when Tony Horton nailed it. He went down to bang out some push-ups and said, "This is my speed." Good form but man he was flying...

I followed Tony's lead and did more push-ups than I'd expected and after the set he told me why. He said, "Get out of your head." Yeah!! No kidding. How many times have I (before I'd even started) talked myself out of a higher count and then succeeded at underachieving? No comment!

Tony's physical expression of: stop thinking and get going, is just what the doctor ordered for many of us. Stop thinking so much about balancing the checkbook; stop thinking about making that call and stop thinking about going for that dream. Do something -now!

Thanks, Tony.

A Good Story

2011-01-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it is true but I want to believe it. Regardless it makes a great point.

Once upon a time there was an old pastor of a well-attended church. This pastor consistently gave great sermons week after week and did so with great passion and energy. So though the sermon he gave on love and forgiveness was great and appreciated, as usual, it came and went without much ado.

The following week he gave the same sermon.

The following week -the same sermon.

People started to talk as you can imagine. After a few weeks of the old pastor giving that same sermon, some of the church leaders gingerly approached him, concerned that the old guy had lost his mind.

Confronting the pastor by informing him that he'd given the same sermon on love and forgiveness for a few weeks now, he responded firmly, "Yes, I know. And I'll continue to give it until people are living it."

Very rarely are there occasions where we genuinely don't know what to do. Normally it's that we don't live what we know.

Live It,

Redeeming the Ordinary

2011-01-17T03:39:00.000-08:00

I listened to a friend of mine talk yesterday, at some length, about redeeming the ordinary.

I ate it up.

The language I tend to use in this regard is about faithfulness to what already is (in your life).

If you want better relationships, redeem or be faithful to the ones you're already in.

If you want a more rewarding career, sure look for another gig but do great work where you are.

If you want to grow in confidence, don't go buy new clothes or think something on the outside has to change -You decide and act consistent to that decision (which may include a different way of dressing).

We redeem our own lives and this world by our faithfulness to what is. Master the ordinary. In that you'll find yourself prepared for the extraordinary.

This is how The Uncompromised in this world achieve great things, so...

Be Good - Don't Compromise,

Accidents and Conspiracies

2011-01-13T06:39:00.000-08:00

There are two basic views of history and dare I say life: accidental and conspiratorial. Either word or idea can cause people to get emotional or panicky where we retreat to religious, political or some other social camp. No need. Let's think about it.

Nations don't rise and fall by accident. Inventions aren't discovered by accident. Business aren't started nor do they become successful by accident. These things happen because people want them to happen. People conspire and things happen.

OK, what then is a conspiracy? A conspiracy is nothing more than two or more people getting together to make something happen. Add dishonorable intent and requisite privacy and you get stuff like schoolroom cheating to election fraud and even assassination attempts.

Granted, there are accidents but the things I can control, via my decisions that will guide my life, I intend to. The accidental life isn't one worth living.

Since you don't want your life to happen accidentally either, who will you place in your camp to conspire with you? Who will you conspire with to help them with their ambitions?

Cunningly Yours,

Awesome Distinction

2011-01-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

This isn't mine. A friend, Camilla Rogers, found it someplace and it deserves more airtime and credit to whoever made this incredible distinction.

If anyone knows who said it, let me know, I'll amend this post ASAP.

The short setup on this is that Camilla and I were talking about how people (to include she and I) can get caught up in pretending we're going for something rather than sincerely wanting and working toward it. Here it goes:

A DREAM - An adult synergy of desire, imagination, and expectancy. A dream has a subtext of maximizing who you are, and a supertext of becoming more than you are.

A FANTASY - An adolescent adventure in imagination without any real desire and no solidly determined expectation. The "guts" are missing. The potential manifestation is seen as a threat and a source of fear rather than something to celebrate as a source of joy.

Whoa,

Faithful When No One is Looking

2011-01-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

Benjamin Franklin was easily one of the most famous, loved, respected, impactful and wise inventors, wits, philosophers, philanthropists and statesman and of his day.

He gave us the modern post office (not the bloated bureaucracy), invented the Franklin Stove, lightening rod and much more. He was a prolific writer, unifier of a new and great nation of principle and a man known in his day as a great sage and prophet.

He, however, started this journey having washed up on the shores of Philadelphia (an economically depressed city) with just enough for a couple of meals -or so it seems...

Before he left Boston and after his arrival he was a hungry learner and student. He spent his free time learning how to write, debate, understand and reason. He read constantly and became a pretty sharp guy fluent in the conversation of intellectuals.

His industry and aptitude caught the attention of the Governors of three states within months of arriving in Philadelphia. And though there is much more to say about how this poor boy went from rags to riches, fame, immense service and near-prophet status it can all be traced back to his being faithful.

He could have done nothing or just a bit with what he felt the desire to do. He could have just gotten by. He could have done well and not pressed himself.

Franklin chose to be faithful to something bigger in himself.

We all need this kind of faithfulness.

What Will Happen

2011-01-03T03:08:00.000-08:00

So what will you do today?

I'm going to write two short biographies for the new TheUncompromised.com site (not up yet).

I'm going to coach one client.

I'm going to work with one professional coach to help him be better at his trade.

I'm going to converse with my editor about my book (she has it).

I'm going to...

Good intentions are the starting place. Good activity is how businesses, lives and circumstances are altered.

What will you do?

Gone Fishin'

2010-12-27T13:54:00.001-08:00

I'm off this week!

Peace and Kick it Hard in 2011,

Play Hard - Play Hard

2010-12-23T12:20:00.000-08:00

I know there are some people who are really dedicated to their health. In fact, Jack Lalanne is the man. Check this out. I heard him interviewed about 5 years ago and he said that he'd not had ice cream in something like 30 years! Whoa...

I, on the other hand, have come to really enjoy and appreciate the benefits of exercise so I play hard but... come holiday time there's lobster, cheesecake, peanut butter Snickers cookies and... oh, I play hard some more.

Maybe it's compromise. I just don't think so.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year!

Be Good - Don't Compromise in 2011!

A Guy Who Gets It

2010-12-20T04:28:00.000-08:00

I was out on my bike yesterday (20 degrees) running my dog. I'd not taken her for a walk in a few days, and though I didn't have time, I figured (as I'd done before) I could let her jog while I rode alongside her. That way I'd cut my time in half.

I passed a retired guy down the street (Mr. C) as he was bringing his garbage can out -we exchanged quick pleasantries as I rode by. As I continued my effort to tire my dog out I realized that she'd gotten the workout she needed so I turned around and began to head home.

With great haste, Mr. C was now backing out of his driveway in his silver minivan. So Daisy and I stopped and waited on the other side of the road. I knew that he was looking for cars and that he hadn't seen me.

I saw him look in his mirror as he went to pull away. The car stopped immediately. Mortified that he'd not seen me -out of the car with the humblest of looks and apologies he came.

THAT'S IT! He got it. If I wasn't paying attention, in his carelessness, he'd have run my dog and me both over. That's a serious matter and he acknowledged it with his actions.

How many people would have stuck their arm out the window or just rolled down the window and said, "I'm sorry"? Either of those would have been just lazy thinking and a denial of the gravity of reality.

Reality is our friend. Humility is a sign of strength and awareness of reality.

Mr. C thought, understood what could have happened in his carelessness yet his humble recovery, taught me more than he would have had he just backed out more carefully. Oh, to be so humble...

If Only...

2010-12-15T06:14:00.000-08:00

If only I had more money...

If only I had more time...

If only I could get a new job...

If only the economy was better...

If only I was appreciated more...

If only I was understood...

If only I was in better shape...

If only things were more simple...

If only I wasn't tired...

If only...

Be Good-Don't Compromise,

The Real Deal

2010-12-13T03:34:00.000-08:00

A buddy of mine who was giving a homeless guy money, company, conversation and hope for several months revealed the depth of his integrity one night. His story is worth recalling.

In brief, my pal was avoiding a church service where he'd have to wash the feet of those around him -like Jesus did. He "was not going to touch anyone's feet!"

Not at church but out in his car, he recognize the homeless guy he'd been helping. The guy was high as a kite and covered in his own excrement. My friend bought a couple of news papers to put in his new Audi, sat the homeless guy in his car and brought him home.

My friend ended up cleaning this man (way more than feet!), letting him stay in his house for almost a year as he detoxed, attended programs and got himself back on his feet.

Everyone talks integrity. Many couldn't imagine this level of commitment and few follow through on living a legacy like this.

The Uncompromised, the real deal -whatever! I want it! You?

Evolution...

2010-12-09T05:49:00.000-08:00

I went on a four-day business trip recently.

Bag? Check.

Shaving stuff? Check.

Books for reading? Check.

Passport? Check.

Finally I put my high-powered laptop in my briefcase and headed for the door.

What do I need a briefcase for anymore? I started going through what I had in there that was important. Books to read, pens, letterhead and envelopes...

With the compact offices we carry around in our computers, what in the world is a briefcase for?

Wow, no more briefcase. Cool.

PS Is it lame to ask what you are carrying around (literally or figuratively) that you actually don't need anymore?

97% Authentic

2010-12-06T02:53:00.002-08:00

I write another blog (http://bit.ly/hTo2Mb) for Albany, NY's big newspaper, The Times Union. Until recently I wasn't writing like I write (like I talk) -and I knew it!

Why?? Well, it is Albany's biggest paper!

After I was asked to write, at first I was flattered.

Then I became a bit arrogant -because of course, I was asked to write the Success Blog.

Then I was knocked down a peg or two when I realized that I'd be one of four "Success Bloggers".

After that I realized that I had to do my best writing--to be seen. Here is where, as they say 'the fly [went] in the ointment'. (By the way, that's a bad thing -flies in ointment.) I wasn't defining my best writing as putting out correct, educational, entertaining writing in an AUTHENTIC way.

I was trying to impress Aunt Fran, the educated people of Albany and the insecure side of myself. In retrospect I get that I was writing in a way that I hoped would make me feel successful! Ironic, no? Meanwhile, my work stunk!

Be the genuine you as opposed to the counterfeit you.

Be Good - Do Great

PS I took and then posted this picture of me because when I started coaching I was pretty convinced that I had to be Tony Robbins (pretty authentic of me) to be successful. I'd walk and talk and pose like him -with a sort of "I am so wildly friggin' successful, but man I'm humble. How can I help you?" look. Authentic to him perhaps -for me...ah no!

Lookin' Good By Acting Aloof?

2010-12-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

I watched a performance yesterday (it was a dress rehearsal) where two performers arrived late. Their colleagues were already there, practicing (dancing/singing), despite their absence.

As the two walked in, I sort of imagined them humbly mouthing the words "I'm sorry" or something like that -then briskly moving to get on stage to join their colleagues already engaged in their routine.

Nope.

They rolled their eyes at the director's comment that it was about time. They further denied the director and fellow performers as they leisurely de-frocked, got on stage and nonchalantly went through the motions of the performance.

Hey! Humble up! Apologize! Get engaged at 100% and move on!

Your being cool is not only irritating, but it impacts everybody around you. In the meantime you've exchanged lookin' good for something more fulfilling that's gotten only by giving yourself completely to what you do.

Thank You,

The Wrong Lesson

2010-11-29T02:40:00.000-08:00

Recently I was witness to someone giving their word to another that they ended up not keeping.

Sometimes the reason for people not following through is legit. Often, is simply isn't.

What is crazy is when the person who failed to do what they said, in an absurd linguistic-judo move, removes the yoke of responsibility from themselves and places the blame on the other!

I was left speechless just a few days ago when the blame was shifted from "Fred" (who didn't keep his word) to "Tom" (the guy who'd been promised then denied something). The lesson being discussed wasn't that Fred needs to keep his word. It was that Tom needs to show more mercy.

I almost fell out of my seat as I watched the offender turn teacher to the offended during the debrief of events. This happens more than we might generally realize. People can shift the blame everywhere but rarely affix it to themselves.

The Uncompromised, on the other hand, are quick to take responsibility. That is part of what makes them different, rare and extraordinary.

Dealing with the Unexpected

2010-11-26T05:45:00.000-08:00

This guy just went in for an oil change... (maybe)

JFK said that the time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.

Aint that the truth!

People have fantasies that who they really are will be discovered -and admired by others, through adversity or challenge.

The truth is, though, that who you are is the result of daily practice. If you can't handle little stuff with coolness or humility (for example) you won't suddenly sprout divine presence that allows you those qualities when your car breaks in two. It takes courage to recognize this.

The Uncompromised of our world engage rather than avoid reality. We'd better get to work on repairing our roof now. What qualities is it time for you to nurture and grow?

I Don't Understand!

2010-11-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

But I brush three times a day!

Yes, I floss!

No, these are NOT my teeth but I did just get back from the dentist.

I had a very brief but fascinating conversation with Nicole, my hygienist. Ah-hem, my teeth were very nice and easy to clean -not much scraping. Pictures not forthcoming.

Anyway, Nicole said that it's amazing how gunky the teeth are that people come in with. I get it, we've all seen some nasty teeth before. But I busted out laughing when she said in all seriousness, and a fair degree of faith in her clients, that many of these people will say some version of, "But I brush three times a day and floss!"

Look, I could go on but...what a scam! Here is where I'm looking today: Where am I gunked up, in denial and acting as if I'm doing all I can do while the results are there for all with eyes to see?

With Sparkling Teeth and Looking Elsewhere,

Dust and Sweat

2010-11-15T05:59:00.001-08:00

Sometimes we fail to do what we’re capable of.

It’s even worse when, deep in the recesses of our minds, we decide that we aren’t really going to work so hard but… we’ll keep up the illusion.

This is where we kick up a lot of dust to make our efforts look convincing and sincere -while we know that we aren’t really doing what we are capable of.

I’ve seen people sweat (literally and figuratively) and actually work harder avoiding work than if they just did the thing they are avoiding. Come on… haven’t you seen that guy who huffs and puffs as if he’s totally maxed-out after not doing anything but notice you watching? This happen in offices, athletics, construction… It actually is kind of funny isn’t it?

The trick is to notice when we’re pulling one over on ourselves. This is compromise and it’s an easy habit to acquire.

Don’t Compromise,

Uncompromised Fitness

2010-11-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

Shut up.

No, you can't have another desert this week.

Yes, you do have to eat more vegetables.

Intending to do a kick-butt workout is worthless.

Move your body, sweat, push yourself.

If you're hungry, you're probably thirsty. Drink water.

Dad's Wisdom

2010-11-08T03:08:00.000-08:00

I used to be a mason (brick, block, concrete). It was there that I received a lot of life's best lessons. Today we'll talk about one of my dad's keepers.

I worked for my dad by the way. Now, say that to most people and the think something along the lines of, "posh gig" or "good deal being the boss' son".

Consider this: most people who've worked for family have a different perspective -as the expectations are usually much greater. My dad put everything in hock -mortgaged the house and everything for a shot at success in business. Not posh.

What does this equal? Urgency, rigor and a low tolerance for nonsense. At 18, I needed to learn all three.

There were occasions where we'd be done with all the work necessary and waiting on a concrete truck or a delivery. My dad couldn't stand idleness. In all seriousness, he'd snap- "Hey, Ronnie, sweep the floor, jog in place, Do Something!"

Bottom line: You are here to be productive -PRODUCE!

My bottom line? Have fun, yes... but Do Something!

Hard-won Respect

2010-11-01T03:16:00.000-07:00

I remember hearing Dr. Laura (radio and TV commentator) grousing about the fact that we give so much praise to the kids who were on drugs and then stop, while we tend to not praise or celebrate those kids who never start doing drugs. I get what she said!

She's got a point for sure. We tend to celebrate the recovery of one lost sheep (as in the bible story) while just assuming that the other 99 should be good. It's easy to give the squeaky wheel grease and miss the good work and lives of the '99'.

We've all got 'the 99' in our lives -those who tow the line, who do the right thing, who are just trying to be and do the right thing. I'm going to take a look around me today and tell some of those people how much I appreciate them -who I know them to be. Why should I wait? How much longer until they've earned my words of appreciation?

Today's the day!

Bad Habits in Moderation?

2010-10-25T04:41:00.000-07:00

Do you know what Angry Birds is?

It is a really cool game app that engages your mind, heart and addiction gland by clever use of physics, logic and electronic force. You are an 'angry bird'. Your beloved eggs have been stolen by nefarious green pigs. Over hundreds of boards you attack and kill these pigs in the attempt to rescue your eggs.

Fine.

Except this game, is the culmination of some outrageous number of hyper-cool cosmic elements colliding. Somehow, it's actually nearly impossible to stop playing.

Funny... until I want to get something done. I've literally had to resort to saying out loud, "This is the last game." and then and only then can I stop!! I've actually gone to bed saying that I'd play for just a few minutes and an hour later I'm forcefully declaring to myself that, "This is it!"

I think I'd be better off just deleting the silly game as moderation is hard with this thing. It might sound goofy, but it is true. What's not funny is how I am with this game undermines my commitment to sleep and then I'm more tired than I want, then...

Silly little compromise and... not really.

Am I alone? What 'bad' habits do you do that moderation is hard to achieve if not an all-together myth?

Mugged!

2010-10-20T19:17:00.000-07:00

No, not at gun or knife-point -but in front of my computer!

I was checking out some links listed by a top blogger as places he'd leveraged to build his following. I'm keen on learning from people who know what I don't so down the list (several short lists on a long post) I went. Second to last grouping and second link down... Blam-O!

Up comes a site that was degrading and kind of intriguing (like a car accident) that I never expected to see. I was mugged. Out of nowhere I was confronted with something I didn't ask for and didn't want.

I quickly closed the window and with eyes bugged out of my head gasped, "What the..." I did complete the phrase.

'Muggings' are tests to see if we are who we say we are. You may be 'mugged' by a tray of cookies, a letter from the IRS, someone's irate response to you or a proposal of one sort or another. How you respond reveals you to yourself and the world.

How have you been mugged? What did you see in yourself?

Keep Moving

2010-10-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

Nothing good, great or revolutionary ever came without some degree of struggle. It's the person who won't stop moving and pressing that enjoys success.

'Not stopping' doesn't mean 'not resting', but in the words of Jim Rohn, "...rest very little". Too much rest grants you fatigue, frustration and apathy.

As you keep moving... will you cry, crank or be confused? You bet. This is your training ground. This is the chasm that separates the hoi-polloi from The Uncompromised.

As you cross over and begin to see your 'promised land' you'll be glad you pressed through.

Be Good - Do Great,

There is a Season...

2010-10-14T04:27:00.000-07:00

Can you harvest what you didn't plant?

What will you maintain that you haven't first planted?

Can you rest from slumber?

What will you be doing during planting season?

There's a season you are in in your life right now. What is it?

Is it time to rest -yet you continue to pursue?

Is it time to plant but you 'deserve' a bit more R&R?

Is it time to harvest but you don't?

Is it time to maintain what you've already done but you're in a hurry?

Respect the season. In the northern hemisphere it is time to harvest... not rest.

What season is it for you?

In Spring,

Saying No

2010-10-08T03:36:00.000-07:00

Periodically I'm asked to endorse someone for their coaching credentials. This means that I write a short letter (email) that indicates that I've heard them coach and can endorse them for a particular caliber of proficiency or talent.

I've had to say 'no' recently to two people who I like. It hurt in the moment but man, I feel so good; I respect myself! I feel good because I know that the times that I have and the times that I will endorse someone actually mean something. I respect myself because I see the value of my word increasing.

Sure it would be easier to say 'yes' to everyone and make more 'friends'. But man, do I want more 'friends' that know that I'll breach my word for the sake of niceness and to avoid 'pain'? No, I'd rather have those that stick with me as I stick to my integrity.

Heck! I've got to find more things and people to say 'no' to!

You?

Some of My Favorites: Quotes

2010-10-07T03:35:00.000-07:00

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -Mark Twain

Let your words be as few as will express the sense you wish to convey and above all let what you say be true. -TJ Jackson

It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision. Helen Keller

Some goals are so worthy, it’s glorious even to fail. -A. Jackson

You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind. –Irish proverb

This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him. –William Lyon Phelps

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. –John F. Kennedy

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. Dolores Ibarruri -Spanish politician

If passion drives, let reason hold the reins. - Benjamin Franklin

What a Difference 17 Years Makes

2010-10-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

Seventeen years ago I woke up to the notion that I really could be and do more than I was living at the time.

Today I see how much further I can go.

Seventeen years ago I figured I could 'get it' and 'get there'.

Today I sigh (I just did!) as I learn to love what is, now.

Seventeen years ago I though I had to be Tony Robbins to be successful.

Today, I'm so very happy to be me.

Change takes time and change happens in an instant.

Thank You!

2010-09-30T06:09:00.000-07:00

I started with a new client recently who had wanted to work with me for some time. This happens from time to time -and when we do get together, I alway find it important to update the other on where I stand philosophically so they can choose me and how I work consciously... rather than based on memories or an old version of RR.

Well, after talking to this dude about The Uncompromised he took my 3 minute long explanation and said it back in about 20 seconds! He said, "You believe that who people are at their best is who they are... they are 'uncompromised'. The Uncompromised is about preserving and choosing this rather than the things that compromise this more natural state." YES!

The only thing I'd add is that we don't have to look for something to do to prove great quality. We need only not compromise... or choose The Uncompromised way in each thing we do.

Be Good (be your true self) - Do Great (natural product of being good),

Ron's Dilemma

2010-09-26T17:07:00.001-07:00

I have to get rid of some books!

I have scores of books that I just don't agree with anymore. I know the content, I've walked that path. I just can't pick one of them to part with.

I really like books. I like to read them, I like to organize them, I like to look at them, I like to wrestle with them... I like books!

You know, I should just give them away... Agrh! But in 10 years my boys might want to have them... Really? Am I a storage facility for a potential candidate for books that I think they may appreciate someday??

What is it about books that makes them so hard to unload?

Ah, forget it. I'm going to read.

How Do You Appeal?

2010-09-23T05:14:00.000-07:00

An appeal was made to me recently that I kind of resent. Not only do I not feel honored or inspired by this appeal, I feel frustrated, and as I said... resentment.

I'm really quick to notice what I have to learn both in my own private life and on this blog but today I want to shine the light 'out there'.

The creators/discoverers of NLP Bandler/Grinder said it best when they said that the meaning of any communication is the meaning that is received. That puts the responsibility to communicate effectively directly on the shoulders of the one communicating.

I've noticed appeals from friends, families, strangers, high school kids wanting to sell $10 discount cards, Girl Scouts and their infernal delicious cookies and the bank teller who suddenly is excited about my banking needs as they chipper-ly tell me about their CD rate of - 1.45%.

When you want something, when you have an agenda... what do you do? Do you become someone else?? Do you turn on the charm? Do you manipulate emotions such as guilt or pity? Do you overwhelm with excitement? It's worth noticing.

What strikes me is that if the bank teller was always nice and friendly to me, asking curious question and/or connecting, I'd be much more open to hearing his/her pitch. It seems to me that we'd better engage people with the best in us, not just when we want something.

If it's Right...

2010-09-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

If it's right, shut up and do it.

That actually could be the whole blog post but...

I signed up for an adventure race because I'd met a guy who organizes cool events on a plane to Chicago a couple months ago and because I'd not done anything cool like this in some time. I thought I could mix business with my need to sweat, bleed and leave everything I had on the mountain.

My wife has never even done a 5k (she's an aerobics gal) but I really encouraged her to do it. Yes! She signed up.

Soon I realized my race would go from race to escort. Ak!

Truth be known, I groused, pretended I wasn't, I whined and acted like I was into supporting her in this big first event for her. Finally I changed my attitude because I knew it was right... not because I wanted to.

Well with right attitude in place, yesterday we did the race. I escorted my Maria all the way; I'm so glad I did. I always talk about heart/being first then action. Well sometimes you just have to do the right thing and have that hardness/lack of motivation be broken along the way.

It's funny to think about too, that if I'd have won the race (there was no danger of that mind you, but if...), I would have wanted my best friend Maria with me to celebrate. Yesterday, Maria asked me to be with her as she exerted and celebrated. I'm glad I was a stand-by-my-woman man yesterday.

Racers are encouraged to dress to express, to be laughed at, remembered or however you want to. I was told that I'd be the Cat in the Hat. Yes dear.

PS I shaved my beard to be silly... I don't think anyone got it.

It's a Grand Scam!

2010-09-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

Everybody like a good baseball analogy. Ahem! I said, EVERYBODY likes a good baseball analogy.

Sometimes when I'm coaching I'll hear my clients say something that we both know isn't true or is some goofy or downright destructive thing they're considering that it keeps them from living like The Uncompromised. That goofy crap I call their 'scam'.

After we identify their scam a bit more clearly I'll suggest they add it to their ESPN highlight reel of cool moves they use to keep them where they are. From time to time, there is something uttered or something avoided that is so obvious, so ridiculous and unfortunately so destructive it is worthy of labeling a Grand Scam!

Mine used to be: I'm too young. Completely debilitating to be 29 years old and too young for... well anything I wanted to do. By the way, I had that until the day I figured that my scam was killing me and that in time I'd simply switch to, I'm too old.

Oh, I've had more and still have some...

What is your Grand Scam that aint nobody cheering for? ...at least not anybody you'd be proud to bring home to your mother.

4:30 AM

2010-09-13T03:43:00.001-07:00

I never regret when I get up at 4:30 AM. In my house, it guarantees me two solid hours in total silence.

Benjamin Franklin said 10 or 20 years ago (plus or minus 250), "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man (women too) healthy, wealthy and wise." I'm down with that plan.

I know there are those who get that quiet time at night (I just don't get it) but regardless of when... get you some. If you are up to anything worthwhile -and this might be a test, you need that alone, quiet, writing, reflecting and/or creative time.

I'd fallen off the wagon recently as I started staying up later so I could do more over the course of a couple days. Well that turning into several days makes morning wake up later and later. Suddenly I'm working, not at my best (4:30-6:30 AM), but just 'doing more busy stuff' between 9 and 11. Not productive. Compromised. Fatigue... ug.

Sometimes it's hard to remember what you are investing in before you get the payoff. For me, getting to bed with a book at 9:30 preferably, and 10 for sure, guarantees a happy boy in the morning.

Oye! I'll let you know how I did this week on Thursday!

17 days until my book is due to the editor! I'd better get in bed... oh wait. It's 6:45 AM!

Short-sighted!

2010-09-09T03:46:00.000-07:00

I've been there before, pal...

At my son's (6 year old) soccer practice yesterday the coach had the kids run all the way down the field and back. A few kids fell behind a bit -anint gonna be a 17-way tie, right?

The father of one of the stragglers started yelling for his kid to hustle. Fine. I get it; listen to your coach. But suddenly I see the father switch from wanting his boy to hustle to irritation that the boy wasn't listening to him or the coach.

The little guy ran over to his dad crying and his dad just kept saying, "No, no... listen to your coach. Get out there." Now it's a tug of war. Dad, determined that he'll be listened to and son with his initial discontent now coupled with anxiety that his dad was forcing him away, as tears fell. Dad ended up pushing him back on the field as he was crying -red face, tears rolling and quite audibly.

I've been here. It's not pretty. Ever lose sight of why you are doing something?

Why Now?!

2010-09-06T03:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm writing this book. Things are coming together but man there is still a lot left to write, organize and link together.

Inspiration was supposed to visit this morning at 4:30 not 8:30 last night when I was trying to crash. Of course it was well after 9 by the time I went to bed but I was able to capture my inspiration -and that is what matters.

I just wish inspiration would keep better hours.

Why Create??

2010-09-03T04:07:00.000-07:00

Aint nothin' new gonna be said. Every note that there ever will be has been played, every color one could hope to put on canvas (or base of your choice) has been put there.

Books have been written, speeches given and songs composed. Basically it's the same stuff with a new marketing twist.

I used to think, "Man, the Beatles did Abbey Road, how could it get better... why would people bother trying to be better than that!?" Depending on your preference, the Bible, Torah or Koran, Tao de Ching, etc. have been written. What other wisdom is there. There aren't gonna be any new fundamentals...

The truth is not everyone likes The Beatles, and even though whatever you do has probably been done many times over, what the world needs is you, now.

Your way of speaking, your combination of colors, your unique perspective, your notes, spaces, chords and tempo, texture... we need you!

No wanna-be reheated version of Tony Robbins, John Lennon, Poe, or even Raphael will get the job done. What the world needs is you -stripped of the unessential nonsense yet out loud and inspired.

The faithful expression of your true identity is what will give you peace now, inspire others... and if you create for a living, we all do... it's what will sell.

Be Good-Do Great,

Sabotage!

2010-08-30T06:14:00.000-07:00

Oh man, ever catch yourself doing something you know you shouldn't or saying something you know better than utter? It's strange in that moment as your reality almost splits in two. You are there in the situation, physically as that pause button goes on and you begin a dialog inside your head!

It's really strange in those times of conscious compromise when you start becoming lawyer-man or lawyer-woman, using all kinds of verbal gymnastics to avoid the truth of a situation and sabotage something better. We renegotiate that which we'd already determined and are literally arguing on the side of sloth, laziness, procrastination, blame, fear, apathy...

Craziness! But that voice that has you eat another piece of cake or go to bed beyond the time you'd already determined is a real and really seductive 'voice'.

What is the antidote, Mr. Renaud? Well, take a look at the four Universal Standards of The Uncompromised philosophy. Consider Enthusiasm, Courage, Endurance and Integrity. Which US has been eroded sufficiently in your life that you are now considering acceptable the negotiation of your agreements to yourself?

I know for me (because of that %&*# app, Angry Birds) last night I stayed awake 25 minutes later than I wanted. 25 minutes might seems like no big deal but... the 25 minutes isn't the point (thought it is a breach of my word). The point is that in those 25 minutes I said to myself, "No matter what, this is my last game"... 15 times! Each time I said, "Oh well..." and played again.

Ug! It is a slippery slope when renegotiation becomes easy because compromise starts small, we get cozy with it and it becomes easy with the bigger things as well.

What are the little ways that you've compromised?

How long did you take??? ...to do what??

2010-08-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

I write a blog for a local paper in Albany (NY) each Monday. I've been writing for some time and haven't experienced much trouble in saying something that has some value -and doing it in 30-45 minutes. That was until this Monday (8/23).

I wrote for 5 hours.

I posted it.

It was not good. Oh, it was not good.

I deleted it.

I struggled for a topic to write about.

Took 2 more hours to write something that was about 300 words!

http://blog.timesunion.com/success/the-uncompromised-honda-pilot/270/

Wow. Some days we just don't have it, at all!

Lessons for me? Write that blog in advance of my due date. I know, I know... I'm not sure what to say about another lesson but I do know that sometimes when a situation goes far past absurd, it can be surprisingly funny.

Wow... that was only 10 minutes!

Watershed Moments

2010-08-16T10:04:00.000-07:00

A watershed is where things come together to form or take on a new direction.

What are the moments that you most powerfully recall changing your life?

Who said what to you?

What did you see or do?

What decision did you make?

What were the circumstances?

I will never forget one watershed moment in my life. My brother confronted me with some hard truths regarding my decent into ignorance. It marked a turning point in my life that set me on a course for becoming a different person and doing what I so enjoy today: teaching and coaching.

I don't know if you can incite or predict a watershed moment and they aren't always cozy when they occur, but what you can do is choose how you'll respond to these moments.

On second thought, maybe you can make such a radical decision in your life that you can create a watershed moment. Hmmmm, what will yours be??

What is Courage?

2010-08-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

Courage is doing what 'must be' done. What is courage? Courage is:

saying no to another drink.
exercising when you don't want to.
remaining quiet.
speaking up!
saying, "I love you".
departing when you know something isn't right.
speaking up when something is wrong.
forgiving.
seeing yourself in the humblest of society.
acknowledging the greatness within ourselves.
sacrificing for another.
holding on another moment.
keeping your word even when no one would know if you didn't.
doing the hard thing.
doing what is easy to put off doing.
saying what you believe
being humble
reading a book who's author you don't expect to agree with.
smiling anyway.
asking for help.

What is courage? Look to The Uncompromised.

Keeping it Simple

2010-08-10T04:13:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that the wisdom of the generations can be boiled down to this: There ain't no free lunch.

That got me thinking about what the bottom line philosophy of The Uncompromised is. Here it goes. The Uncompromised have integrity and are consistent.

Integrity: Be Good

Consistency: Do Great

Simple...

Be Good -Do Great,

When Nobody is Looking...

2010-08-03T04:55:00.000-07:00

It's easy to hold true to your word when you know people are watching. It's easier to let ourselves be slack around all sorts of agreements we make when no one is looking -or no one will know.

Excluding for just a moment, any scenario dealing directly with another... I wonder, who are you when you compromise your integrity to yourself? What are the consequences of breaching your word to yourself -even if it is 'only' about mowing the lawn or flossing your teeth at night?

Compromised integrity creates low self-esteem, hamstrings potential and obscures purpose. It erodes your true identity and sets you up to tolerate the next compromise.

Where are you most apt to compromise your word today? Where do you have the potential to get a bit loose with what you've already decided?

Be Good-Do Great!

I Don't Want To Be Motivated!

2010-07-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Boy, sometimes we all just feel unmotivated, or rather, motivated to be lazy, restful or the like. Of course, this isn't a habit for those who make endurance a standard in their lives.

The Ironman USA triathlon was just held in Lake Placid this past Sunday. The Ironman is a triathlon with a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and a 26.2 mile run. If you've never done it and have no interest in trying... go see it. It'll inspire -and more, wake you up to many great examples of endurance in action.

As the world champions finish, go back to their hotels, shower, eat and go about their day and evening... the real inspiration begins. While the next eight hours pass, people of every body type are mashing out the last 50 miles on their bikes, running a marathon and fulfilling dreams. These people who one might have easily judged the day before as 'fat', 'weak' or 'old', suddenly are completing and event that most people will only dream of -or dismiss for its difficulty.

You can't fake an Ironman. You can't fake results. You can't fake endurance.

The finishers of the Ironman races aren't dabblers, samplers or posers; they are intimate with standard of endurance possessed by all The Uncompromised. For months and often years they endured scheduling hardships, physical, mental and emotional challenges, made sacrifices, stretched themselves and rode, ran and swam countless hours so they'd be ready for the big day. Sunday, in Lake Placid, NY, endurance met opportunity -and many witnessed The Uncompromised.

Inspired to-

Be Good -Do Great,

Enthusiasm and Investment

2010-07-26T05:58:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about enthusiasm and investment. These two concepts we can't avoid in life. It's just a matter what we are enthusiastic about and what each of us are investing in.

Who is investing in you? What type of energy are they investing in you? Are the people you've invited into your world ripe with enthusiasm -positive attitude and physical energy? If not, how would you describe their quality and level of enthusiasm? Does that merit your investment in them?

What about you? Are you living with enthusiasm? Are you investing in your amazing opportunity called life, with enthusiasm? On what are you spending your enthusiasm/energy?

We all have enthusiasm for something. We all invest energy, time, thoughts and emotion in various things. What kind of life are you most investing in as evidenced by how you are living?

Booker T -An Example of Endurance

2010-07-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

There is a lot to be said about the virtues and life of Booker T. Washington (BTW). I'll take the time to share just a little of why he's a hero of mine.

He was born into slavery and became one of the most famous and influential people of his generation. Like the expression goes: The team at the top of the mountain didn't fall there, BTW didn't fall into great fame, influence or an enduring legacy of note.

Up From Slavery is Washington's autobiography which is well worth reading and reflecting upon. It's an enormously compelling story of ignorance, laziness and potential hatred turned wisdom, industry and benevolence.

Though there is almost no good place to start except the beginning, in regards to getting the real impact of BTW's story, let me give you the skinny on what kind of man he was.

After completely changing his life and becoming a teacher himself, he was recommended -even though not white, as a man capable of beginning, heading and providing for a new school in rural Alabama. Long story short -there was no school, there was no financing, there were some good people in his corner but that and an old chicken coop got him a few eggs and not much else.

He created an environment at this 'university' where rigor of learning and dignity in labor reigned. Leading an institution remotely in those days (which was difficult at best) Washington was also obligated to constantly be doing speeches in an attempt to sell people (potential donors) on the virtue of investing in the cause of a people and merit of his ideas for them.

The needs seemingly never ended and so Washington literally spent years walking all over the country from town to town giving speeches to hundreds and to nearly empty rooms. Day after day and night after night and year after year he put himself in places where he could influence change in the hearts and minds of two races.

Sometimes treated like royalty but often treated worse than a criminal, Washington carried on for decades changing society and lifting up a people through his example and extraordinary efforts, until his passing.

The Uncompromised Washington's life is an example of what is possible when we don't get caught up in dabbling, quibbling or too much rest. A life of endurance, awesome service to others, fulfillment in doing what he felt called to do -his legacy is secure.

Rest in peace, Mr. Washington.

Not Deciding is Deciding

2010-07-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

iphone 4 or Droid X?

AT&T or Verizon?

Cheaper phone and longer contract or more expensive phone and simply go month to month?

I thought about what I'd do before the iphone came out and as the news of the new Droid became public. My contract with Verizon was up in May. I still couldn't decide what to do, but I don't like the phone I have now.

*The problem with writing about something as rigorous as The Uncompromised is people will hold you to that standard. Well Saturday I was at a NY state park -and there I was with my accountant, who asked if I'd gotten the new phone yet.

I won't say which phone he owns except that he nailed me on my own philosophy when I told him that I'd still not decided. The truth is I know what I want to buy but I'm being lazy by avoiding the stores and waiting for some elusive piece of conclusive evidence one way or the other. He said, "Ron, don't compromise. Just buy the phone."

He knows what I want in a phone and expects me to just decide and do. I thought I could put the decision off. In fact what I've been doing the last 3 months is deciding to use a junky phone that doesn't meet any of my needs. Hmmm. I don't like the sound of that.

And you? In what area of life have you 'decided' to put off a decision but it really has amounted to a compromise of something important for you?

What is Integrity?

2010-07-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

Madame Dictionary says integrity is: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. I get that. I think we all think of integrity this way.

Even better though is the second definition: the state of being whole and undivided. Yes!

When we breach our integrity, we undermine who we are at our best -which is who we really are, and we establish ourselves as something else. When we compromise our word/integrity we create a division between our world and who we are. That means our happiness and effectiveness.

Once divided, we are more apt to say and do things that don't reflect who we really are. At best unnecessary struggle begins, and at worst, the race to the bottom begins.

However, as we stand firm and live consistent with what we say we say is important to us, not only do we enjoy the results of being men and women of our words, but we grow in our dedication to being that man or woman. That dedication equals strength and motivation to keep making good decisions.

You are successful and fulfilled to the degree that you'll live out your integrity. Better know what you stand for then, huh?

Compromise to Compromise

2010-07-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

It's the second time in about four days someone told me about this dude, Osho. Anyway, a friend of mine sent this Osho quote to me: Compromise. It is one thing to meet another halfway. It is another to 'cave in' and betray your own truth.

I like this. Though I don't worry too much about discussing the more typical use and context of the word 'compromise' (happy medium, give and take) -because I'm more concerned about the ways we surrender our lives to the folly of compromising our integrity, I think this Osho guy really nailed it.

Isn't that one of our moves we use that costs us so dearly? We 'compromise' to keep peace or take care of another -but we can easily end up accommodating everyone to our own expense.

So what do you know?

How does good intention and compromise lead to compromise that we can't live with?

Enthusiasm's Revenge

2010-07-08T07:12:00.000-07:00

I wrote recently about a neck injury I suffered -and still am dealing with. I'd been working out and getting in the best shape of my life, when I suddenly had to stop.

For the first couple of days I found myself enjoying the much-needed rest both my mind and body wanted and needed. During the next few days I lamented that the program I was on would have to be abandoned for a time. As I now head deep into the second week of my inability to do that work out, my enthusiasm for exercise has waned yet my appetite or rather my desire to eat has increased. Sort of an, "If I can't workout, I'll find pleasure here then!" deal.

A couple days ago, I realized I was in a downward slide. I leveled with myself and got that if I didn't change my attitude and my eating -and exercise lightly the few muscles I could, this short-term injury might have a serious impact on not only my exercise routine but worse, cause me to lose enthusiasm in general.

Though I confess I feel a bit lame (literally and figuratively), I 'm not going to let this injury take me out and make me change how I want to do things. If enthusiasm is one of the distinguishing traits, Universal Standards, of The Uncompromised... then I have to have it!

I'm not going to feel bad about myself just because I'm not as strong as I want to be. My life is about bigger things.

What I'm aware of right now, is that enthusiasm is a choice and it doesn't end with one decision...

Spasm, Sampling or Endurance

2010-07-06T03:54:00.000-07:00

Endurance is discipline or committed, consistent action toward a consciously set goal. It is a sustainable way of living.

Spasms of effort and activity are the mark of those who want... but not enough to change their habits (thinking and doing). These folks are always kicking up a lot of dust but seldom get anywhere.

Sampling is the lifestyle of the optimist who believes in change and possibility but flirts -and too often goes home with laziness.

What does it take to live like The Uncompromised? It's a four-step process: Get clear about what you want, have endurance in your efforts, enjoy the results and repeat.

PS Ha... Just before I clicked "Publish Post" I realize this is nothing more than the lesson we learned in reading "The Tortoise and the Hare".